How do you deal with loss? -

[BananaBlue]

What you do to help you go through each day and be optimistic when under heavy grief?
Without wanting to try to sound like a bitch, what kind of stuff you read, hear, watch. What helps someone to cope with loss, I won't dare to say heal your grief, but learning how to live with it.
Post motivational images, videos, music. Even if it might be corny, do it.

 

[Rand /pol/]

Marijuana.

 

[mr.moon1488]

Not that I recommend it, but I normally just get drunk.

 

[BananaBlue]

Marijuana.

Not that I recommend it, but I normally just get drunk.

I don't smoke. But I do drink,

 

[Otterly]

You don’t need to be optimistic when you’re in the early stages of grief. Genuine grief is a process that needs to be worked through, and you’re going to feel shit for a while.

 

[BananaBlue]

You don’t need to be optimistic when you’re in the early stages of grief. Genuine grief is a process that needs to be worked through, and you’re going to feel shit for a while.

I'm realizing it. People say to go to work, to occupy yourself, to listen to music, watch movies, even if dumb shit on the internet, keep your head busy.
I've been trying and indeed, helps, but only slightly.

 

[Tetra]

i come up with a way to blame it on someone and get really mad and resentful at that person

same, gotta blame someone, else it's all my fault... fuck that.

 

[Hellion]

Bingeing old, slightly corny, 'genteel'-type comedy shows, like Father Ted or Vicar of Dibley.

 

[Gordon Cole]

I just go numb and become even more of an introvert than usual. If I have work/school commitments, I'll explain what happened and they'll leave me be until I'm back in commission.

 

[DDBCAE CBAADCBE]

There's nothing you can do. You'll just have to keep living and learn from the experience or let the grief consume you and commit suicide. Either way nothing really changes in the long run. It's never going to stop hurting, My best advice would be to try and mold that grief into conviction and strength. It's okay to be sad and it's okay to cry but there comes a point where you need to get up and move on with your life. People die, friends change, life sucks sometimes, but we can't let that define us.

 

[Otterly]

I'm realizing it. People say to go to work, to occupy yourself, to listen to music, watch movies, even if dumb shit on the internet, keep your head buys.

Those things can help to a degree, but you can’t avoid the process. Look up the stages of grieving - it’s well defined and unless you naturally work through what you feel, you may experience trouble down the line. It’s normal to feel shit when you’ve had a huge loss. It will get better. It won’t get better fast.

If you find something healthy helps, do that. Getting shitfaced a few times is fine but don’t do it as your only coping mechanism because that’s the best way to wreck your life.

Small acts of kindness towards yourself. Whatever works for you. “Time and the hour run through the darkest day.” It will get better with time.

 

[Exorbital Columnations]

Art helps. I'm a music so I just dredge up the most appropriate songs to match my emotional state and hammer them out until I feel that I've adequately expressed my inner turmoil.

It doesn't solve the problem, but it helps bring things into perspective and helps move the pain along until it's somewhat manageable. While I'm doing this, I get stinking drunk and smoke some joints and banter with my friends.

Don't go getting drunk and stoned all on your lonesome, though. That won't help much.

 

[BananaBlue]

I just go numb and become even more of an introvert than usual. If I have work/school commitments, I'll explain what happened and they'll leave me be until I'm back in commission.

That's not what you should do and what I'm trying to avoid doing. Luckily, i got a lot of support from close friends and family and that i helping me treasuring them more and open myself to more people. I'm guessing it is a way to fill some void, to not feel alone. But if there is something i've learned is that you should never close yourself, distance yourself, become anti social.
Even if you have nothing interesting to say, try yo invite someone for a coffee or have a mundane talk. don't close yourself to others

 

[the autist of dojima]

"The only way to wipe those tears away is to overcome the past."

 

[Exorbital Columnations]

That's not what you should do and what I'm trying to avoid doing. Luckily, i got a lot of support from close friends and family and that i helping me treasuring them more and open myself to more people. I'm guessing it is a way to fill some void, to not feel alone. But if there is something i've learned is that you should never close yourself, distance yourself, become anti social.
Even if you have nothing interesting to say, try yo invite someone for a coffee or have a mundane talk. don't close yourself to others

Honestly, you sound like you're going to be just fine. Just keep on keeping on.

 

[Kamov Ka-52]

 

[DDBCAE CBAADCBE]

same, gotta blame someone, else it's all my fault... fuck that.

My rule of thumb is that if I'm blaming someone else I need to take a step back and examine the particulars of the situation more closely. Blaming someone else is easy, but often times the easiest path isn't the wisest. I tend to find that if I approach a situation from the perspective of myself being at fault then I'll soon find where the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

 

[BananaBlue]

Honestly, you sound like you're going to be just fine. Just keep on keeping on.

I'm trying to be strong, but it's all a mask. It is generic to say such thing, but it is literally that. I just want to scream and cry but I'm struggling, struggling to keep my shit, for me and for my family that is also going through the same grief. It hurts, hurts for me and hurts seeing others enduring the same pain.

 

[BananaBlue]

same, gotta blame someone, else it's all my fault... fuck that.

That's related to what situation you are in and what is causing you grief. I have no one to blame. If anything, I can only blame my shortcomings and not being the the man I should have been and to have the person I lost, see me and be proud of me.

 

[Gordon Cole]

That's not what you should do and what I'm trying to avoid doing. Luckily, i got a lot of support from close friends and family and that i helping me treasuring them more and open myself to more people. I'm guessing it is a way to fill some void, to not feel alone. But if there is something i've learned is that you should never close yourself, distance yourself, become anti social.
Even if you have nothing interesting to say, try yo invite someone for a coffee or have a mundane talk. don't close yourself to others

I don't know what to tell you, everyone grieves differently. Self-processing may not work for you the same way that it does for me, but it doesn't make it any less valid for me. You surround yourself with friends, while mine respect the fact that I need some space for processing before I can accept what happened and be back in action, different strokes.

 

[Exorbital Columnations]

same, gotta blame someone, else it's all my fault... fuck that.

That's very wise of you and you should definitely start a blog about your feelings and post the URL to this thread!