How do you meet new people these days? - A discussion of modern friendship and romance in the age of technology.


Protector of voluptuous thighs
True & Honest Fan
Can't use that excuse anymore, I quit.

No. I work from home and I left all my athleticism back in high school.
Ask your friends if they go to home parties or something similar and join.
In Summer I go to such parties in the park.
Or if you have a friend who is studying go to their semester parties or christmas parties.


The best place to start is to remind yourself that you don't need new friends or lovers. If you think you do, you're always going to be approaching this from a needy place. Speaking for myself, I avoid needy people because they're a drag. But it seems like it's the same for other people. If you approach it with a more unattached mindset, like it "it would be fun, but it'd be fine if it didn't happen", then socialising becomes much easier.

Next step is figuring out an activity that you like. And if you're smart about it, you also pick an activity where you expect a high ratio of likeminded individuals to socialise with.

Tfw when you meant for the thread to be a discussion in general on meeting people, not a therapy session exposing how much you actually suck at talking....
Most of the time when you want to improve something about your life it means coming to face with uncomfortable truths or something you don't want to hear.

If it didn't, you'd have already fixed it.


Fix animated profile pics @Null you gutless mothe
I refuse to meet people on the internet. It's almost always second-rate and not worthwhile.

Go to a bar and start talking to people. Go to the grocery store and start talking to people. You noticing the pattern here? Just go places and start talking to people. Some people will think you are weird and give you the cold shoulder. Most people will have a friendly conversation with you and then you probably won't ever see them again. And a few people will ask you what's up and maybe try to meet someone new as well. Just get out there and do it.

Whatever you do, don't let a machine try to do it for you. Get out there and get talking to people. You'll find them but you have to put yourself out there. And the vast majority of people (even good looking, successful people) are scared to death of putting themselves out there. We're being conditioned to have all decisions made for us by someone off-site.
Agreed-people who post on the internet tend to be some of the worst people there are.

chicken wings

Certified Instagram Dietician
Go look up courses, or workshops or some shit. You learn something and meet all the new people you want. GTFO of your house.

Start smoking cigarettes so you have an excuse to insert yourself into groups of smokers.
Almost every smoker's corner I've been to has a cool friendly vibe. Especially if you're in a city that demonizes the fuck out of smoking. Pretend you need to borrow a lighter or something to get the talking going.

Cool kitties club

Question everything (except cats)
Just go talk to some people at places you know. You don't have to absolutely give up gaming if you can put up with the people there go to some local gaming store they usually do tournaments there sometimes. There are book clubs, board game meetings, and lots of other stuff to do. If all else fails just talk to people at events or something.

UA 674

I can't do dating apps, personally. Both genders are equally disingenuous for the most part on them, and even for a normal person it's very daunting. At least, that's been my experience.
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Cactus Wings

Coughing for Cash
This shit is on my mind a lot lately. Not because I wish to meet new people, as in this day and age it's ultimately a waste of time, only underlined by the fact that the few people I can stomach are almost decade-old friends.

I met basically all of these online through games. Dedicated servers in which you through gameplay elements (such as TF2's dominating or healing them or whatever) formed some kind of connection. You saw them after school every day, kept sniping each other, until eventually you talk and add each other. You have something in common; be it skill, game, interest, names, avatars.

Fast forward to today: Matchmaking with randoms, MMR which makes winning more important than socializing, an increasing amount of text-based chats alienating VoIP, and generally just people being tangled up in too much. Like those animals who're actually made up of thousands of smaller ones. You got your Discords, your subreddits, your few Facebook normie friends, your niche games, your niche interests (KF :) ) etc. You're a collection of interests not bound in any actual social interaction. Discord isn't a group chat for friends, it's a real-time subreddit which has a single purpose. This one has a high quality NSFW channel; this one spams JoJo memes, and this one has my real friends in it.

I keep reading studies and articles on how immensely isolated and alone people are. Influencers are becoming more ridiculed and achieving less; TV basically doesn't broadcast any glorification-of-existence shows anymore, and we even have several dating shows based on "my worst quality". I mean look back 5 years. Dating apps and sites were a joke, and Tinder was for 8/10s to get laid. Now people use it just to get to talk to each other, because we've start to normalize the need and effort to meet new people.
Literally nothing about us aren't selfish. We only make friends based on needs, and good friends get a need fulfilled in return. Your best friend in school, although a loser like you, if that's the case, got something from you. You aligned on some level and enjoyed that. Same shit needs to occur in everything else we do, even as adults.

It's a shame clubs are branded as childish ways to activate growing kids. It's a place you can go regardless of your own life situation and do something you have interest in. And by going there, by default, you're gonna meet people who share that interest. My father grew up on a motorcycle, and 30 years later he restarted that motorcycle club, and it had 80% of the same 20 members shooting the shit as adults. You don't get that kind of unity or social ties from anything not bound in investing into an interest.

Granted I've never used Tinder, that's why I so often question how people just "use" it and go on dates. The bios i've read are so lackluster and devoid of any personal interest that it must literally just be a date about rating each other physically and fucking. But at the same time, the second they mention an interest I share, I'd be ready to deal with a 5/10 butterface if it meant I got to share that excitement.

True, that's the excitement some have for Fortnite and Harry Potter, but those things are mainstream. You're gonna meet a lot of extra fat before you find someone genuine. Oh you work out? Cool. Oh you actually work out canooing, and go on trips with people you've known for years and participate in events and shit? That's something to talk about or engage in. I mean fuck, look at Marvel. Everyone watches superhero movies, and they used to be niche. In turn, that means you're not getting remotely closer to someone you can share excitement with.

Everything good in life (and people) I've found is based on pure (somewhat niche) interest. I couldn't dream of just blindly going into a social setting mumbling "Hi, I want friends". To ask "how do I meet people" is just silly to me, because you've already got things with which to meet people on the halfway point. And if you don't, go fucking try things. I can't count the sports I've done on two hands.
Tfw when you meant for the thread to be a discussion in general on meeting people, not a therapy session exposing how much you actually suck at talking....
You already know the answer. What did you expect? Seek out people. We're all pieces of meat. You lose nothing by being ridiculed by some 8/10 hot piece of ass on Tinder, who is most likely as lonely as you are. You can throw an ugly mug on Tinder and at least appeal to one random person now and then. People are a lot more forgiving of others than themselves, especially if something other than looks click.

We're at a point in time where social needs aren't covered naturally. We need to, much like current adults and youth of the past, actually pursue that shit. Whether it's joining a Discord or local club based on interests. You get more out of a shitty talk about a topic you enjoy with a boring person than play-pretending besties as you basically exchange nothing of value between someone who looks interesting on paper.


Always look on the bright side of life!
A lot of it depends on where you live, the kinds of activities that involve lots of people nearby do, and your willingness to go outside of your comfort zone to meet these people. You could meet people at work, but frankly their is a lot of awkward scenarios that can play out if that happens, like what if you fall out and you both work the same job lol.
The best piece of advice I know, other than working on that social anxiety, is to take care of yourself, physically and mentally, which means (yes I'm gonna Jordan Peterson you) tidy your room if you haven't, since you lack hobbies, imagine what you could do if you played video games less and worked out every evening or morning (look better, feel better) depending on your preference. You don't need any gym equipment, (I don't like the gym, go if you feel like it) to become healthy, it just makes it easier.
Now, when you've done all this, try and think about, if you haven't already, the kind of person you want to meet in life. Now I mean, if your intending on a long term relationship, you got to be able to imagine doing chores with them and them making it easier for you. But the crucial bit of advice I'm going to give, and I don't know if it worked for me because I'm extremely lucky, is use a site like OkCupid (NOT TINDER, unless your into that). When filling out your profile, you should list one hobby. If you want a relationship, ask for one, don't expect your friends to do anything. Don't fake it or you'll create problems for yourself down the road. Good luck.
Edit: I know you've seen basic normies using online apps, but their are people on those apps that are not basic and actually have a inner monologue, if your looking for that kinda person, you should persist and also don't assume peoples personalities entirely from their profiles, some of them are likely doing exactly what you are doing in the hopes of attracting attention as a front, but when you PM talk to them they relax and actually talk about themselves in a less fakish way.
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Raging Capybara

True & Honest Fan
I don't know, at least in my country dating apps are exclusive for casual sex. If you want love (lol) or a good companion to talk and share interests don't use these apps. But in burguerland things can be different (I doubt)...

I volunteer for things that interest me and that are likely to involve others in my general age group. Whatever the project is, I get to meet new people and have the project to talk about to fill that initial awkward period.

I also go to a couple of interest groups that meet near me - a foreign films group that rents and shows obscure movies and an urban explorers group. When someone at one of those interests me, I ask if they'd like to get coffee or a beer afterwards or mention that I'm going to some kind of related event or location later in the month and ask if they'd like to go, too.
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Sprig of Parsley

Damnation dignified
I don't know, at least in my country dating apps are exclusive for casual sex. If you want love (lol) or a good companion to talk and share interests don't use these apps. But in burguerland things can be different (I doubt)...
No, they're no different from what I have seen. Things are fucked here like they are everywhere else. Online dating is a horrific experience. Going out to a bar/grill and encountering randos is really not much better. My extremely limited socialization comes from my job (which has led to more regret than happiness) and my online interests (which has panned out to diddly fucking squat). I dunno, maybe I'm just doing it wrong.

I used to go to a little honkey-tonk beer bar, but it got torn down to build more retirement homes. I haven't really had the heart to find another "Cheers" so to speak, and I find clubbing to be one great big "ignore me" game, because everyone is too busy being aloof to bother actually starting a conversation.

Sprig of Parsley

Damnation dignified
I used to go to a little honkey-tonk beer bar, but it got torn down to build more retirement homes. I haven't really had the heart to find another "Cheers" so to speak, and I find clubbing to be one great big "ignore me" game, because everyone is too busy being aloof to bother actually starting a conversation.
In the bar/grill situation I tend to be at the bar, alternating between studying my drink and studying the people around me (food occasionally if it's worth eating and I'm hungry). I don't think I've ever really worked up the nerve to approach someone else (I'm good at shutting doors, so to speak, and terrible at opening them) but I've been approached before. Didn't go well.
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