How do you meet new people these days? - A discussion of modern friendship and romance in the age of technology.

Raging Capybara

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I dont think youve met enough people in your life to pass comment on such things.
So?

One of the most intelligent people I've ever met in my life was a NEET anime enthusiast. You've generalized an entire demographic and now I'm the alienated here?

Sure, there's a lot of smart and interesting bodybuilders out there too, but that was my fucking point.
 

lobotomy juice

kiwifarms.net
Meeting new people is as easy as ever it only usually requires interest in any activity or subculture. Besides the obvious school or work related stuff, activities like sports are the easiest to meet new people physically close to you in real life but from my experience any real interest will eventually lead you to find-like minded people. People who have difficulties finding friendship or romance are usually unmotivated, uninteresting and passive often accompanied by other character flaws. Self improvement is the key to finding new meaningful relationships if you are struggling to find any but willing to make some effort towards it. Technology makes it so much easier to keep up with friends you wouldn't have the time to meet with regularly and makes it easier to maintain social circles. Distance is only really difficult to deal with in romantic relationships and can't be maintained online, but regular friends you meet up and hang out with every few months is easily doable even with multiple hours distance. Expectations like meeting someone you hang out with daily can be unrealistic considering most adults are employed and have other relationships as well. All in all I think it's mostly down to the amount of effort you are willing to make towards finding a relationship be it romantic or friendship.
 

Medicated

Not the fun kind
kiwifarms.net
It seems these days that the social barriers have only grown immensely stronger in the past ten years, so I wanted to pose a question to anyone willing to talk about it, guys/girls/whatever. What do you do to meet new friends and lovers these days? Do you just go out and talk to some person on the street, ask for their number or to hang out? Is it just a work thing with co-workers and the occasional client/customer that meets you halfway in interest? What about a public setting like malls or bars, or jeez, the beach? Do you prefer just social media and dating apps? How do you make friends online then?

I wanted to get people's opinion and understanding on these types of issues, and if I'm just an odd person for feeling that way because it's something that I struggle with.

(I'm going to disregard school/college, should be obvious why)
I don't.
 
P

PT 522

Guest
kiwifarms.net
I feel like around here everyone either came out the pussy with a group of 14 best friends already formed or is just trying to keep their head down and get through life without causing a stir. It's hard to fraternize either way and I miss having a best friend. He was the only person I could tell anything but we grew apart after graduation and eventually started getting on each other's nerves more than we got along. It happens sometimes but life is too lonely otherwise.
 
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Exigent Circumcisions

This little piggy is reeeetarded.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
..but I wish there was like a dating app for friends that isn't full of guys looking for hookups regardless. Life is too lonely otherwise.
Just start loudly explaining the Farms to everybody you meet, get really deep into the Julie Terryberry saga in an increasingly loud, strident babble and see where it goes. Fly, little bird!

FLY!
 

Sprig of Parsley

Damnation dignified
kiwifarms.net
I feel like around here everyone either came out the pussy with a group of 14 best friends already formed or is just trying to keep their head down and get through life without causing a stir.
Well, definitely not the former in my case. As for the latter, the nail that sticks out gets fucking hammered good most of the time. Good thing to remember in general.
 

Cactus Wings

Coughing for Cash
kiwifarms.net
I feel like around here everyone either came out the pussy with a group of 14 best friends already formed or is just trying to keep their head down and get through life without causing a stir. Seriously, I remember my first year in college, right away all the freshmen were either roaming around and laughing in groups or just not talking to anyone... It's hard to fraternize either way and I miss having a best friend. He was the only person I could tell anything but we grew apart after graduation and eventually started getting on each other's nerves more than we got along. It happens sometimes but I wish there was like a dating app for friends that isn't full of guys looking for hookups regardless. Life is too lonely otherwise.
This is a vibe I get a lot in those god forsaken Tik Tok compilations. Sometimes you see random thots lipsyncing or expressing a meme that requires some degree of insight into e-culture to actually understand, but they also look 8/10 and capable of putting on make-up. Even above-average normies might actually be broken on the inside despite their looks; something I've denied for years because it's just Stacy trying to go "haha im actually super sad on the inside too! Haha relateable! Where's Chad?".

If going out of your way to look good, have a job, and study isn't working out, we might actually be reaching a chaotic state of contemporary youth.
 
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Glad I couldn't help

Ohai!
kiwifarms.net
Some people will think you are weird and give you the cold shoulder.
Yes, they are called normal people. I see no reason to talk to complete strangers unmotivated by anything. Just give your help as needed and walk away.
Just go talk to some people at places you know. You don't have to absolutely give up gaming if you can put up with the people there go to some local gaming store they usually do tournaments there sometimes. There are book clubs, board game meetings, and lots of other stuff to do. If all else fails just talk to people at events or something.
disclaimer: this doesn't help when your hobby or sport of choice is a massive sausage fest
you likely won't be meetiing any girls if your hobby is playing DnD at the local neckbeard dungeon, attending chess club meetings, or if you spend your time bashing other dudes faces in at the boxing gym
I've been involved with a board game meet for a couple of years now, and it's big enough that there are a fair number of women there now (although their datablity/fuckablity can be debatable).
People who have difficulties finding friendship or romance are usually unmotivated, uninteresting and passive often accompanied by other character flaws. Self improvement is the key to finding new meaningful relationships if you are struggling to find any but willing to make some effort towards it.
I know a friend like this. She was complaining about what a shitty life she has, but when I suggest getting a hobby or going out somewhere, she declines (to be fair, she has a family and medical situation that does cause difficulties).

As for getting friends, there is not much more to add besides actually going outside into the light. If your okay with using a Web 2.0 site that is almost certainly data-mining your shit, you could try Meetup.com. Just find groups that match your interests and go to their events. I'm certain that you can also find other sites where you can find similar groups.

Note that won't find close friends, but that is something that can only devlop over time organically.
 

Anonymous For This

Flying pierogis at vienna.
kiwifarms.net
Hobbies. You got to find a hobby and then find a forum or social media page that caters to that hobby in your area. My biggest hobby is on-road/off-road motorcycling. When I started, years and years ago, I found a forum that catered to my specific type of riding and found a large group of guys that I was able to ride and wrench with.

First year and I wound up breaking down about 300 miles from home. The only store in town didn't have the sprocket I needed, so I wound up sending a text to our group to ask if anyone knew of another model bike that had a comparable sprocket. When that proved pointless, I said I would be renting a truck to get back home.

One guy said fuck that and drove 300 miles to get me in his own truck. Wouldn't let me pay for fuel. I know we like to shit on people here, but fuck me, you can make really good friends if you go out and try.
 
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edibleBulimia

Live young, die fast
kiwifarms.net
School was nice because you were basically forced to socialize with other people who could relate to you on school stuff. I got a lot of friends from it.
I also got a lot of friends from knowing my neighbours, then meeting my neighbour’s friends, meeting my friend’s other friends, getting an outside hobbie, etc..
I once met someone by recognizing their cosplay on the street, which made us talk about cosplay and anime, and then the person saw my dog and told me she wanted to be a vet, yadda yadda yadda, we’re friends nowadays. Just socialize and don’t get scared if you get ignored. At some point you’ll have a lot of friends or at least you’ve met some cool people.
 
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AlexJonesGotMePregnant

do you are have stupid
kiwifarms.net
Too many choices + ridiculous expectations seems to lead most people to some serious social dissatisfaction. Most of the time I see someone trying to make new friends and failing it is because they are misdiagnosing the problem.

"I want to make new friends" is often "I don't like my current friends"
"I am lonely" is often "I don't like myself"
"I am bored" is often "i don't like my life"

If you're unhappy, think real hard about the mechanics of your unhappiness and first figure out what you need to fix for yourself or you'll just get burnt out trying to fit yourself into some rubber-stamped expectation. If you're a millenial and feel really lost, just focus on trying to retire as early as possible and stop trying to "have it all". The choices you make along the way to getting to an early retirement will push you to grow in ways that might surprise you. If you're going to be miserable no matter what, it wouldn't hurt to be able to afford a good hooker now and then.
 
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Medicated

Not the fun kind
kiwifarms.net
Hobbies. You got to find a hobby and then find a forum or social media page that caters to that hobby in your area. My biggest hobby is on-road/off-road motorcycling. When I started, years and years ago, I found a forum that catered to my specific type of riding and found a large group of guys that I was able to ride and wrench with.

First year and I wound up breaking down about 300 miles from home. The only store in town didn't have the sprocket I needed, so I wound up sending a text to our group to ask if anyone knew of another model bike that had a comparable sprocket. When that proved pointless, I said I would be renting a truck to get back home.

One guy said fuck that and drove 300 miles to get me in his own truck. Wouldn't let me pay for fuel. I know we like to shit on people here, but fuck me, you can make really good friends if you go out and try.
This site is my hobby, I already talk to you all. So I'm good then. You are all my new friends.
 

Van Darkholme

DEEP ♂DARK ♂FANTASIES
kiwifarms.net
I tried to join meetup.com and then realized that it's literally just a bunch of gays who go bar hopping and 50+ lady book clubs and that was the end of my Friendship Saga.
Not like I'd ever be Chad enough to actually show up to a meetup full of strangers anyway...
The last time I did that it turned into a full-on tragedy and I left like, an hour in, thinking to myself : I'd rather be home and do anything else besides listening to these obnoxious people I have nothing in common with".

Went home and smoked weed.
 
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MrTickles

Ducking Fegenerate
kiwifarms.net
There are a few different answers here depending on circumstance; in my particular situation, since I'm confined to home or gym so much of the day (work business from home) it is quite literally on sites and forums or at the gym.

3 months of the year I travel, so I meet many fellow travelers. They are not to be trusted though. Many people on the internet tend to have an extensive history. These randoms you meet at hostels and hotels could be anyone.
 
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Surf and TERF

your girl dick is fake news
kiwifarms.net
I say yes to every invitation I’m given. I don’t shy away from giving complements and checking on people if they seem stressed. Giving someone attention and letting them talk about themselves is one of the easiest ways to make them like you.

If I want something to do but don’t have any plans set up, then I’ll log into meetup and go to an event that sounds interesting, like a movie or a coffee hangout for people who are interested in some specific thing that I also like.

This works for me, at least. Meetup’s potential varies depending on location. There wasn’t anyone my age who used it in the place I used to live, but it’s popular in the town I’m at now.
 
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