How do you want your funeral to proceed? -

[Damien Thorne]

In my case, after I die of old age happily in my sleep, I want to be cremated. Then, at my funeral, I want my ashes spread over the mourners while “It’s Raining Men” is blasting very loudly through speakers.

How do you want your funeral to proceed?

 

[Fromtheblackdepths]

Feed me to the dogs.

 

[Strange Wilderness]

I don't want anyone to be sad at my funeral. Its going to be a wild party with booze, strippers, bounce houses, a petting zoo, clowns, stand-up comics, and enough illegal drugs to fill an RV. No one is going to be sad that I'm gone they're going to be happy they knew me.

 

[Autumnal Equinox]

Hollow out my body, fill it with candy, sew it back up and use it as a pinata at my wake.

 

[albert chan]

Like this

 

[WinchesterPremium]

My funeral will be my loved ones shouting how they're going to avenge me over my body, then just kind of leaving it there for the state to take care of since that is the cheapest way to do things.

 

[Pissmaster]

peperony and chease

 

[PotatoSalad4711]

I will leave some money in my will for a couple of people to stand around wearing trench coats and earpieces just so people wonder what the fuck I was involved in.

 

[TheRetardKing]

FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!​

 

[Penis Drager]

Funerals are expensive and nobody wants to go to them. Donate my body to science or some shit. It's not like I'll care. I'll be dead.
If the living want to gather and mourn/celebrate/whatever, let them. I won't be there.

 

[Arm_of_the_Lord]

Cimitero Monumentale di Milano. All the previous inhabitants have been dug up and thrown in the trash. A thousand-strong procession is carrying my body(which is completely untouched by rot) as millions of people who do not have the privilege of attending the ceremony are watching from a distance with tears in their eyes.

When the procession finally arrives at the destination, an enormous coffin of solid light comes into existence and I am telekinetically lowered into it. After the lid closes the previously stoic attendants of the funeral finally break: they all start weeping in unison and the resulting river of tears washes over the city's streets. In their desperation, people cry out into the sky "Please, bring him back!".

But what is this?! The clouds over my grave disperse and an enormous winged figure descends from heavens — the archangel Michael himself. Without saying a word he strikes the coffin with the hilt of his sword, completely disintegrating it, as my body floats upwards. Soon, I awaken, once again full of life and shoot a volley of nuclear missiles from my arms(nobody gets hurt, think of it as really big fireworks) while loudly proclaiming my intention to never leave the people of Earth again.

Then I take time to personally thank everybody present and offer them a heartfelt hug.

 

[JohnMcAfee]

 

[Extreme Aneurysm]

Destroy my body.

 

[Anderson's Phone]

Place an active landmine in my body and have an open casket funeral and only inform a few people who are barred from going . They get to sit and guess who's gonna be the one to put their fucking hand on me.

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

Put my ashes with some confetti and glitter into a cannon and shoot it across the church while Take Me Home Tonight plays.