• "Hand given"

How is the kiwi above you in bed?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by bacterium, Nov 20, 2016.

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  1. Threw a basket filled with dried fruit and feces at me and ran.

    Best time of my life.
     
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    Dr W

    Dr W UNLIMITED POWER

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  2. Prescribed 40 cc.'s of love to me. I'm not really sure what a cc. is, but he told me it stood for 'colossal cock.' I was dubious of his definition, but went along with it. Had me singing Dr. Feelgood by morning's light.
     
    Ted_Breakfast

    Ted_Breakfast What'll it be, boys?

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  3. very poetic Like a majestic stampede of unicorns but instead of horns there were dicks. I am writing this from an intensive care unit
     
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    someweebname

    someweebname This world needs another plague

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  4. It was over in a snap.

    :coster:
     
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    scorptatious

    scorptatious You. Bacta. NOW.
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  5. Brought a nice looking Japanese broad for Nyotaimori.
    Worth it
     
    Ntwadumela

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  6. Cums like a semen version of an Itano Circus while leaving cinnamon smelling vapor trails in all rainbow colors except blue because reasons, while the invincibility jingle from Sonic the Hedgehog plays in perfect tune to his movements.
     
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    Wraith

    Wraith Wraith of the Pickle King...

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  7. Refuses to motorboat because he's laughing too hard because of the faces his sex partner is making.
     
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    American Lollinator Mace

    American Lollinator Mace Dykes! Dykes! SNAKE!!!

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  8. I had sex with a giant tentacle. And you know what? I'm cool with this.
     
    Meat_Puppet

    Meat_Puppet A Midnight Rhapsody

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  9. Gives me a dead stare. Much worse than starfish sex.
     
    c-no

    c-no Cheeki Chrissy

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  10. Kinky on the streets, vanilla in the sheets.
     
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    I'm Just A Human Bean

    I'm Just A Human Bean I hope you have a pleasant time

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  11. Vanilla beans aren't really my thing.
     
    Vrakks

    Vrakks You are huge! That means you have huge guts!

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  12. Woke up in a bathtub full of ice. Kidneys were gone. She didn't even leave a note. She thought she stole my kidneys but really she stole my heart. (:_(
     
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    Zim

    Zim Facebook District Manager
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  13. ew fucking furry get out of my face
     
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    Dicaprio Delorean

    Dicaprio Delorean WarioWare Shove Up Yo Own Ass Game

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  14. We did the HOUOU KYAKU
    ATATATATATATATATATAA
    WATAAAAAAAA!!!!!
     
    Ntwadumela

    Ntwadumela Greeter of Fire
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  15. Wasn't too thrilled when he brought a lion, but it turned out to be better than expected.
     
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    scorptatious

    scorptatious You. Bacta. NOW.
    True & Honest Fan

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  16. Don't know what the hell I just had sex with, or how it ended up in my bed. But it was kind enough to make breakfast in the morning.
     
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    Meat_Puppet

    Meat_Puppet A Midnight Rhapsody

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  17. We were interrupted by angry incels calling me Chad and demanding I return the last boyfriend free girl to the internets.
     
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    Cricket

    Cricket Official @Null Waifu™
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  18. It was like fuckin' a corpse.
     
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    magikarp

    magikarp but nothing happened!

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  19. It was literally like fucking a fish. Then got larger but still smelled like fish. 4/10
     
    Pepito

    Pepito Running one Cartel at a time...

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  20. Brought some Argentine Señoras to tango with
    Great time, will do again
     
    Ntwadumela

    Ntwadumela Greeter of Fire
    True & Honest Fan

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