How to convince someone out of trooning out?

JokahBaybee

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Trashcan me if you want, I'm expecting it, but let's say someone I know and care about is already well on their way to trooning out, and I want to talk them out of it. What do I tell them? Are they too far gone, or is there still hope?
Any articles or papers that might convince them that what they're doing is a bad idea?
 

Chongqing

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A friend of my friend is trooning out and it makes my friend sad because he feels hopeless to stop it.

Honestly, I don't know. I feel like I've never seen anyone try hard-edged transphobia as a response, so I'm stupidly optimistic that maybe that would work. It's very rarely tried by a friend or acquaintance. Usually only their family members are close enough to care to be honest with them.

Maybe if you yell at them for being autistic men who are trying to basically rape away female identity for themselves like a bunch predatory autistic men, maybe your words would never fall out of their head and they wouldn't be able to proceed.

I mean, seriously, maybe if you emphasize that it's undiagnosed autism that they've been ignoring their whole lives, maybe that would click for them. Troons are big into the dogma of discovering they were little bean women all along, uwu, and they just discovered their identity later in life. Maybe if you could show them their latent autist tendencies, their way sense of self-discovery will take over for the better.

I feel like maybe it's worth a shot if they're just going to troon out anyway.
 

L50LasPak

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If you can't have a rational discussion with them on the topic and at least convince them to take it slow, then you probably don't have the strongest relationship in the world with this person. If this is the case, just walk away and focus on the other people in your life.
 

Kosher Dill

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How old is the person in question? Are they male or female? Are they gay? Did they "fail out" of their gender or is there fetishism involved?

EDIT: and for the sake of completeness - what makes you think they're not one of the rare sincere transgender people?
 

R00T

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ask them if they've explored every avenue and option. Maybe they're just jumping that this is what they want. Maybe finding someone outside of friends and family to talk to about it might get them to open up and explore more options?
 

SmugAutist

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Make them realize that trooning out is not going to make them a happier or more stable person.

Gender dysphoria is pretty much just a very specific type of body dysphoria. It's what happens with anorexics, ultra-fitness addicts, or in the worst cases, Body Integrity Identity Disorder. In all of these cases, the discomfort with their own body is merely a symptom of deep psychological issues that have to be worked with therapy and medication. Mutilating your body a dozen different ways is not going to help anything. I have yet to see a troon both online and irl that ends up better for it in the end. Most of the time, they end up worse than before.

That is, of course, if these are actual psychological problem and they're not just attention whores, which is more than likely the case nowadays.
 

Frances Kiwi Farmer

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Solidarity, my friend. I'm in the same boat twice over; it feels like watching someone drown while everyone else talks about how much fun they look like they're having in that pool over there. And also you're a paraplegic or something? The metaphor worked better in my head.
 

The Fool

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Eh, I'm pessimistic because my best friend trooned out. None of us could do anything, he alienated everyone in his life and went totally insane. He did calm down and reconciled with everyone, so it worked out in the end, but yeah, I'm really pessimistic about anyone trooning out, it never works out.

I'd just try to get them to come to terms with, just because they want to feel like a woman, doesn't mean they should mutilate their body for the sake of it. Tell them, hell, show them that most troons look really fucking ugly, and the "good looking ones" trannies use to lure people in with are a very slim minority who probably started HRT when they were very young. Try to get them to see, without belittling their feelings, that trying to become a woman is just as promising as trying to turn into a dog. Try to get him to find other avenues of fulfilling his desires, like, catfishing and roleplaying.
At the end of the day, reality sucks, we're never our ideal persons, and this is why we have escapist media like video games and anime. Tell him not to conflate wanting to have a different body with wanting to ruin it for the sake of social brownie points or a vain attempt at feeling better.
Most importantly you can't try to tell them they're wrong or that you disapprove of it, merely that you're worried they might make a mistake they'll regret. Even if it's just for attention, you gotta let them know you're on their side and you sympathize with them, but that what they're considering is not going to make them happy. The 41% is proof of that, and that number is not from social stigma.
Of course, if they don't listen, be prepared to cut them out of your life. You don't need that kind of person in your life, basically trying to force you to roleplay their fetish with them. Don't threaten to leave them if they do consider it, just be prepared to do it if they do.
 
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Chongqing

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what makes you think they're not one of the rare sincere transgender people?
That is just...lemayo. :story:

Show them Metokur's video:
If they don't have second thoughts after seeing this, they're lost.
That was literally the worst thing I've ever seen, and I've seen a lot. Good God that was terrible.

Wasn't Phil's stinkditch (among many others) sliced and dug with taxpayer money via medicaid?

Oigh vey.

Those poor surgeons. Seriously.
 

JokahBaybee

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How old is the person in question? Are they male or female? Are they gay? Did they "fail out" of their gender or is there fetishism involved?

EDIT: and for the sake of completeness - what makes you think they're not one of the rare sincere transgender people?
They're a 18-year-old gay male, but they're also shut-in weeb, so maybe a bit of both. As for the edit, I never implied I thought they weren't, but this path never works out well in the long run, and that's what I'm worried about.
If you can't have a rational discussion with them on the topic and at least convince them to take it slow, then you probably don't have the strongest relationship in the world with this person. If this is the case, just walk away and focus on the other people in your life.
They aren't a good friend. I'm currently on shaky ground with them, and they've proven to be quite touchy about it. I intend to focus on my other friends and leave them, but I want to get closure on it knowing I at least tried to help them.
 

LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]

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From Yaniv to Blaire White where does this person on the troon scale?

I wouldn't really care unless they are creeps and/or laughing stocks but there are those who i don't really mind, like if a super feminine gay guy who already everyone knows as an uber feminine fag suddenly wearing female clothes full time and actually passing well doesn´t raise any alarms tbh, it surprises no one, those types are mostly harmless and are genuinely happy cosplaying and are actually good at it. A neckbeard waifuist who is suddenly telling people he is a transbian and wants to lecture your kids on discord does trigger some alerts.
 

Coomer For Hire

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If you actually care to try this then go ahead, but best option is probably to leave it and walk away.

Be their friend. Ask them questions, and try to figure out what they think, what they feel, and why.

After you get that, use that knowledge and the "socratic method" to have them draw a similar conclusion to you about transitioning, about how it'll fuck them up in the long run (Because it will). At that point they'll either accept the conclusion, and stop that shit, or they'll reject the conclusion, with the catch being they have to have it sit around in the back of their head. If they're not an utter retard, it'll be the seed of doubt in their mind that will build up to them detransitioning, going insane, and/or 41'ing themself.

Either way, it's on them.
It's worked for other stuff, don't see why it wouldn't here.
 

GHTD

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Tell them John Money was a Jewish doctor and that David Reimer killed himself years after John Money studied him.

Hey, it's a Deep Thoughts post, gotta get the antisemitism in there somewhere.