How to find a lolcow -

Ghorbon

kiwifarms.net
Lolcows are not just known individuals like AmazingAtheist, The slatons, Joeysworldtour, Cows can be found in many ways, yes. Many are too big I feel and that the more interesting are always unknown. They also aren't celebrities or politicians, (I personally think Anthony Wiener should have a thread because of his last name) They also aren't people you hate. If you want to make threads about known people on the news, make them on News/Media on the other board. This is mostly aimed at newcomers who are unfamiliar to this barren land. Let's start with a couple things here.

1) {Key Word searches} Cows unknown to the public eye can be found on Youtube, Twitter, FaceBook by searching up key words. (Message To) on Youtube and filter through upload date to find new finds of people. Of course the first thing you see is tons of porn libraries created by bots spamming a few pages, ignore and look further. More key word searches like (furry) (brony) (Autism) (Fedora) (fat) can help too.

2) {Linking} Usually how most cows are found but I'll state anyway. Many cows unknown are linked to known ones already. Let's have Isiditape for example, quite a few undiscovered can be connected to him, Blonde Boy can be one example of a Connectecow. You can either find them in the cow's subscriptions or comments. Like Rat Kings, Cows connect like a big chain that can lead to more and interesting cows.

3) {When the cow comes, the wind breaks} Some cows happen upon arrival here, Halal'd is the term for it. Some are members here and show too much of their fetish or personal information to everyone here that people begin getting the urge to make a thread on them, some have gotten threads like Connor Bible, others like flamesoul are pending until they get to a point where it needs to be made. The future may bring more than Connor to the table, you just never know. And your posts on DeviantART, Reddit, FaceBook are being watched so be careful if you are some autistic furry and don't want to be sensitively hurt by your own doing.

4) (DeviantART) (Twitter) (FaceBook) (YouTube) (PSN)
{DevaintART} Many cows are on the very cursed site where all go to die, from inflation to vore, Horrorcows are there. Many Artcows who have threads here stem from DeviantART Horrors (A thread on Community Watch). Many can be found when looking up new art, like SolidMario who wants to utterly bang Bart Simpson.
{Twitter} Twitter is home to Rat Kings like NoraReed who many here find new Rat Kings through her every month. Also use the Key Word search on there too.
{FaceBook} Like Twitter, home to many Rat Kings and Chris's rambling page.

{YouTube} Where cows get to express themselves more, also use the Key Word Search on there too.
People like this:

{PlayStation Network} Believe it or not, cows can be found here, especially the PS4 communities which house up to 10,000 people in each one. Kik communities on there (Yes, people sit in Kik PSN communities and beg for GFs at ages ranging to 30) Anime ones, Furry Femboy ones. (Ick) So if you want a certain cow, look here.

Also a side note: Never tell a lolcow or a random person about a thread you make about them, it's not worth forcing them here. And bragging about it too while showing a picture of you telling them. "Wooooo Im on da farmz bois an I made this cool awesom thread bout yu so common in!" or "I told them about the thread I made on the kiwifarms, used Google Translate and I think what she said was do your aunt in Portuguese."



{When a cow runs out of milk} I personally find Chris overmilked but that's just me, Cows can be milked, and then run out of it. You will know when they stop doing certain things, leave their user behind or don't react in a funny way like you want them to. People like strikerwolf can have big amounts of milk. And also, if you keep talking about someone who's inactive for years aside from comparing someone new to them, You make yourself look pretty bad. Believe it or not, some people still bring up Megan on the Chris forum when she has moved on for years. So another thing to remember.

{Milking properly} When you want a funny reaction out of your favorite cow, do it properly. First off, never show your information to them like exposing your name on a Skype chat. They can use it against you, hence making you more laughable than they are. Prank calling the cow and them just ignoring you, again, making you more laughable than them. (Weeing Batman Prank) To milk properly, you need to dig on that cow to find what they hate, fear, react to and do whatever. If you do it for too long, it becomes sad and can make you look desperate. Everything ranges from how much milk a cow has in them. Some have months, years others can have a couple days. Always observe first before action.

(Yes, some people don't read the pinned threads at all)
Creating threads: https://kiwifarms.net/threads/creating-a-thread-in-the-lolcow-board.19313/
 
Last edited:

Fallensaint

Supreme moralfag
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
This is solid advice but you joined a week ago? Are you really the person to be advising other members?
 

CatParty

Boo
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Lolcows are not just known individuals like AmazingAtheist, The slatons, Joeysworldtour, Cows can be found in many ways, yes. Many are too big I feel and that the more interesting are always unknown. They also aren't celebrities or politicians, (I personally think Anthony Wiener should have a thread because of his last name) They also aren't people you hate. If you want to make threads about known people on the news, make them on News/Media on the other board. This is mostly aimed at newcomers who are unfamiliar to this barren land. Let's start with a couple things here.

1) {Key Word searches} Cows unknown to the public eye can be found on Youtube, Twitter, FaceBook by searching up key words. (Message To) on Youtube and filter through upload date to find new finds of people. Of course the first thing you see is tons of porn libraries created by bots spamming a few pages, ignore and look further. More key word searches like (furry) (brony) (Autism) (Fedora) (fat) can help too.

2) {Linking} Usually how most cows are found but I'll state anyway. Many cows unknown are linked to known ones already. Let's have Isiditape for example, quite a few undiscovered can be connected to him, Blonde Boy can be one example of a Connectecow. You can either find them in the cow's subscriptions or comments. Like Rat Kings, Cows connect like a big chain that can lead to more and interesting cows.

3) {When the cow comes, the wind breaks} Some cows happen upon arrival here, Halal'd is the term for it. Some are members here and show too much of their fetish or personal information to everyone here that people begin getting the urge to make a thread on them, some have gotten threads like Connor Bible, others like flamesoul are pending until they get to a point where it needs to be made. The future may bring more than Connor to the table, you just never know. And your posts on DeviantART, Reddit, FaceBook are being watched so be careful if you are some autistic furry and don't want to be sensitively hurt by your own doing.

4) (DeviantART) (Twitter) (FaceBook) (YouTube) (PSN)
{DevaintART} Many cows are on the very cursed site where all go to die, from inflation to vore, Horrorcows are there. Many Artcows who have threads here stem from DeviantART Horrors (A thread on Community Watch). Many can be found when looking up new art, like SolidMario who wants to utterly bang Bart Simpson.
{Twitter} Twitter is home to Rat Kings like NoraReed who many here find new Rat Kings through her every month. Also use the Key Word search on there too.
{FaceBook} Like Twitter, home to many Rat Kings and Chris's rambling page.
{YouTube} Where cows get to express themselves more, also use the Key Word Search on there too.
{PlayStation Network} Believe it or not, cows can be found here, especially the PS4 communities which house up to 10,000 people in each one. Kik communities on there (Yes, people sit in Kik PSN communities and beg for GFs at ages ranging to 30) Anime ones, Furry Femboy ones. (Ick) So if you want a certain cow, look here.

Also a side note: Never tell a lolcow or a random person about a thread you make about them, it's not worth forcing them here. And bragging about it too while showing a picture of you telling them. "Wooooo Im on da farmz bois an I made this cool awesom thread bout yu so common in!" or "I told them about the thread I made on the kiwifarms, used Google Translate and I think what she said was do your aunt in Portuguese."



{When a cow runs out of milk} I personally find Chris overmilked but that's just me, Cows can be milked, and then run out of it. You will know when they stop doing certain things, leave their user behind or don't react in a funny way like you want them to. People like strikerwolf can have big amounts of milk. And also, if you keep talking about someone who's inactive for years aside from comparing someone new to them, You make yourself look pretty bad. Believe it or not, some people still bring up Megan on the Chris forum when she has moved on for years. So another thing to remember.

{Milking properly} When you want a funny reaction out of your favorite cow, do it properly. First off, never show your information to them like exposing your name on a Skype chat. They can use it against you, hence making you more laughable than they are. Prank calling the cow and them just ignoring you, again, making you more laughable than them. (Weeing Batman Prank) To milk properly, you need to dig on that cow to find what they hate, fear, react to and do whatever. If you do it for too long, it becomes sad and can make you look desperate. Everything ranges from how much milk a cow has in them. Some have months, years others can have a couple days. Always observe first before action.

(Yes, some people don't read the pinned threads at all)
Creating threads: https://kiwifarms.net/threads/creating-a-thread-in-the-lolcow-board.19313/


Is this a good lolcow? http://facebook.com/profile.php?=733
 

introman

Great Value™ Portable Pizza Pocket
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net

AnOminous

μολὼν λαβέ
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
Also a side note: Never tell a lolcow or a random person about a thread you make about them, it's not worth forcing them here. And bragging about it too while showing a picture of you telling them. "Wooooo Im on da farmz bois an I made this cool awesom thread bout yu so common in!" or "I told them about the thread I made on the kiwifarms, used Google Translate and I think what she said was do your aunt in Portuguese."

This can't be emphasized enough. The kind of cows who are funniest if they show up to rage about their thread are also the kind who Google themselves all the time anyway. Trying to force the issue is unfunny and boring, though.
 

NotWeasel

Smooth as orange juice, sweet as sauerkraut
kiwifarms.net
Does it count when you upset the cow so much on Twitter/etc they send your common friends to beg you to stop?
 
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