How to Talk to Girls....Chris -

[Venusaur]

(As per usual, if any mod thinks this should not be in here feel free to move it. I know it's not implicitly Chris' content

So...I've been listening to the audio of Robert Simmon's visiting Chris' church. During the small talk bit, Chris mentions reading Alec Greven's book "How to Talk to Girls". While I remembered this being discussed in the CWCiki long ago, I'd never actually bothered to look at the book's content. The few pages of the book that popped up give the impression of a very cutesy book that simplifies the complexities of dating down to an elementary school level (Understandable since the author was 9 when he wrote this).

Yet....

Those two pages stuck out due to the various events in Chris' life.

I'd always wondered where he got his statistics and "facts" for his CWC's Dating Education exam: http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/quizzes

And let's not forget how he behaved with poor Damian: http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/%22Damian_ ... NEED_YOU!!!

I don't have a pdf of this book, so I don't know how the entire book reads, but just by seeing the few pages floating on the net it seems like they could have done Chris some good if he had listened to them. It's a shame that he's was unable to follow the books advice if he had maybe him and Damian would still be friends (doubtful but...) and perhaps he would still not be so hung up on Megan.

I'm also wondering who recommended this book to Chris? Although he might have found it on his own, I suspect that Rocky suggested it to him since she thought the simplistic concepts would be easily understood by Chris' mindset.

Nowadays... Would Chris benefit from reading a more adult "how to do relationships" book?

EDIT: Maybe something like this?

 

[Ronichu]

The idea that Chris's knowledge of dating and romantic entanglements was overshadowed by a nine year olds is just mind boggling to me. He's just really, really stupid I guess.

Even more mind boggling, though, is that when something got through to him like this, something that he claimed to respect and admire (and recommend to others), he still disregarded its advice whenever some other retarded idea jumped into his head. He just doesn't understand anything, at all, and his ego prevents him from trying anything that's not a CWC original idea.

This is why Chris will never really function in society and why he is doomed to be a friendless, dateless, miserable misanthrope.

 

[DangDirtyTrolls]

The idea that Chris's knowledge of dating and romantic entanglements was overshadowed by a nine year olds is just mind boggling to me. He's just really, really stupid I guess.

Well, when you think about it, the kid probably already had more experience than Chris. I don't know what constitutes a 'date' for a 9 year old but at the time Chris recommended the book he had never been on a real date, and if I'm getting my timing right had only been on 2 fake dates (Hanna and Emily). The only 'real' date he has ever been on is with Faeryn and I say 'real' in that I don't think Faeryn went into it fully aware of Chris, it was more 'let's see how Chris reacts to someone who is the opposite of his sweetheart requirements'. I don't think he has been on a single date since then, real or fake, either.

So really, when your entire life's dating experience is a total of 1 real date and 2 fake dates it's not difficult to top Chris' experience, even if you're only 9 years old.

 

[DykesDykesChina]

What I find mind boggling: That nowadays childhood has been replaced by some weird proto-adulthood.

Heck, when I was in elementary school I could talk to girls without any problems. But not in order to ask them out for a glass of milk, but in order to inform them that they sucked, had the cooties, smelled and were stupid altogether.

Why do we have to create a culture in which children are redefined as mini-adults who date and have relationships? Why can't this wait until people are 16 or so? Why do we need to have pickup artist books for children? What's next, career counceling for toddlers?

Well, I suppose in the year 99 After Ford everything is going smoothly. Community, Identity, Stability. A gramme is better than a damn. We can't do without anyone - even Epsilons are useful.

 

[Some JERK]

What I find mind boggling: That nowadays childhood has been replaced by some weird proto-adulthood.

boys and girls have always engaged in a kind of "proto-adulthood". they're mimicking the adults around them who are in relationships, because they want to be grown ups. When i was in elementary school kids had crushes, "went" with each other, kissed, held hands, chased each other around the playground and all that shit. It was basically harmless. The grown ups then had the same reaction: "You're too young for that!"

I think this is just what kids do. No, nobody wrote a "dating manual" when i was a kid in elementary school though, but then again, the internet (as we know it) wasn't around either.

and hormones kick in WAY before 16. there's a reason why Jr. High school exists where kids of a particular age-range are completely isolated from both older and younger kids.

 

[DykesDykesChina]

What I find mind boggling: That nowadays childhood has been replaced by some weird proto-adulthood.

boys and girls have always engaged in a kind of "proto-adulthood". they're mimicking the adults around them who are in relationships, because they want to be grown ups. When i was in elementary school kids had crushes, "went" with each other, kissed, held MANOS, chased each other around the playground and all that shit. It was basically harmless. The grown ups then had the same reaction: "You're too young for that!"

I think this is just what kids do. No, nobody wrote a "dating manual" when i was a kid in elementary school though, but then again, the internet (as we know it) wasn't around either.

and hormones kick in WAY before 16. there's a reason why Jr. High school exists where kids of a particular age-range are completely isolated from both older and younger kids.

Well, probably US culture is somewhat different from European culture

When I was a kid, we all were of the opinion that girls were GROSS.
But then, this is what Calvin from the Calvin&Hobbes comic likes to say, so maybe there's not so much of a difference after all (Watterson must have gotten the idea somewhere).

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Brother, Chris was taking girl-talking advice from a book written by a 9-year-old. Think about that for a minute.

 

[Venusaur]

I found another very relevant page:

It's eerie...

 

[milkshark]

I found another very relevant page:

It's eerie...

I think everyone who reads this should print this page out and mail it to Chris once a week, forever.

 

[CatParty]

This book is Chris's Catcher In The Rye

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

About 73% of regular girls ditch boys; 98% of pretty girls ditch boys.

Wow, this young kid was a loveshy in the making.

 

[Saney]

About 73% of regular girls ditch boys; 98% of pretty girls ditch boys.

Wow, this young kid was a loveshy in the making.

Great, that's all Chris needs, dating advice from a proto-loveshy.

 

[Pikonic]

About 73% of regular girls ditch boys; 98% of pretty girls ditch boys.

Wow, this young kid was a loveshy in the making.

He was 9, so I'll let it slide, Chris was mid-20s.
Also Chris does know how to talk to girls, in a biological sence. He can open his mouth, vibrate his vocal cords, and move his tounge to make words to a person of the opposite sex. The Emily transcript and Kacey calls prove this.

 

[Anchuent Christory]

It's another example of Chris thinking everything is determined by black or white rule sets and numerical stats. But of course, even when a social situation arises that does have a fairly simple rule attached to it (be hygienic and don't smell like shit) Chris still manages to break that rule.

But lets back up a bit here, I had absolutely no idea that Chris had made up quizzes, so I just had a look through them from the link in the op and I'm at a loss for words. It's possibly the best example I've ever seen of Chris' idiocy and ego all rolled into one. It's almost like he believes that setting his own prejudices to be correct answers actually makes them the truth in real life.

 

[CatParty]

About 73% of regular girls ditch boys; 98% of pretty girls ditch boys.

Wow, this young kid was a loveshy in the making.

He was 9, so I'll let it slide, Chris was mid-20s.
Also Chris does know how to talk to girls, in a biological sence. He can open his mouth, vibrate his vocal cords, and move his tounge to make words to a person of the opposite sex. The Emily transcript and Kacey calls prove this.

You don't suppose the kid has grown to full loveshy by now?

 

[Pikonic]

You don't suppose the kid has grown to full loveshy by now?

I'll be the buzzkill and white knight the kid. He's about 14 now, he's still got a life ahead of him, he's got time to figure out who he is. And with 5 books now published before the age of 15, he must have a mighty trust fund. He might be a love shy, but he can still grow out of it easily. Chris has a much more difficult path to take.

 

[CatParty]

Especially when Chris is closer to the end of his chosen path than the beginning.

 

[Marvin]

You don't suppose the kid has grown to full loveshy by now?

I'll be the buzzkill and white knight the kid. He's about 14 now, he's still got a life ahead of him, he's got time to figure out who he is. And with 5 books now published before the age of 15, he must have a mighty trust fund. He might be a love shy, but he can still grow out of it easily. Chris has a much more difficult path to take.

Yeah, nah, I don't think anyone (correct me if I'm wrong?) actually thinks he's a loveshy based on something he wrote when he was 9. It was mostly a joke about something that sounded like it could've easily came out of a loveshy neckbeard's mouth.

 

[Venusaur]

And....yet ANOTHER very relevant one.

Don't act silly or goofy, cut down on sugar, have good male friends.... For a book written by a 9 year old, the advice is still pretty good for Chris.

And I dunno about the kid being too loveshy like... In the intro to this little book he says: "By the way, all statistics in this book are based on my observations at Soaring Hawk Elementary School. They aren't worldwide. I would have to do a lot more research for that."

Granted it doesn't make them any better, but at least it's a "not a generalization" clause.

EDIT: And looking at his recent facebook posts...It seems that he might actually be befriending guys now (he's sending them gifts via mail). Which for Chris is really a step forward towards healthier social relationships.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Yeah, nah, I don't think anyone (correct me if I'm wrong?) actually thinks he's a loveshy based on something he wrote when he was 9. It was mostly a joke about something that sounded like it could've easily came out of a loveshy neckbeard's mouth.

Yeah, that was my only point: Stricken of context, the ramblings of loveshies and spoiled 9-year-olds sound the same.