How was your day? Good, bad, indifferent? Did you do anything interesting, or was it just SSDD?
How was your day? -
- Thread starter glass_houses
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Sustained Denial of Service attacks. Paid for botnet. Service will continue to be disrupted until I can contact other providers and arrange a fix.
It was nice...
I went to the reading group at the morning, then I had some free time; after lunch I attended class and then by afternoon I did exercise with my friends. Now I'm going to have some dinner.
I went to the reading group at the morning, then I had some free time; after lunch I attended class and then by afternoon I did exercise with my friends. Now I'm going to have some dinner.
Rather good. Found out the classes I waivered for was approved last week. All I had to do now was just petition to graduate for a CIS (computer information systems) degree.
*Edit: I just realized this was a new thread. I mistook for an old one that was started a few years back.
*Edit: I just realized this was a new thread. I mistook for an old one that was started a few years back.
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I wish I was dead.
Feel free to apply to every day.
Feel free to apply to every day.
Drago
kiwifarms.net
I'm sorry to hear that. Always happy to listen if you need a friend and that wasn't just raging sarcasm.
So far so good, had some meetings this morning, collated some data on consumables used, went to fetch a tiny screw for the workshop.
Lunch now, bit of data analysis of wheel wear rates (trying to develop a predictive system to pre-plan maintenance), since my boss is away I might sneak out a few minutes early, because I've got dinner and a pub quiz with some friends later and then holiday planning for November.
Average really.
Lunch now, bit of data analysis of wheel wear rates (trying to develop a predictive system to pre-plan maintenance), since my boss is away I might sneak out a few minutes early, because I've got dinner and a pub quiz with some friends later and then holiday planning for November.
Average really.
Yesterday was "Talk Like A Pirate Day" at Long John Silver's, and, just like last year, I was the first and only one at the restaurant to actually care enough to came dressed like a pirate, and even then it was pretty barebones what I did to get a free 2 pcs. fish basket, but it gave me something to do for a manic Monday.
Won $800 at craps so it was a pretty awesome day
It's been a strange and contradictory combination of serenity and melancholy for me today. I've decided to give up my dream of making a career in the sciences. Accept that having five different prescriptions for mental health medications combined with nonverbal learning disorder does make a decent argument in favour of all those idiots telling me I'm disabled. Accept that I need to stop work, and apply for a pension. And if that pension is approved, I must accept that there's a very high chance that I will have no choice but to file for bankruptcy.
So yeah. Letting go of fourteen years' worth of ambition and pride, letting a total stranger auction off my worldly possessions, and going to TAFE and studying something that isn't infrastructure or primary services, where I'm not building anything, merely using what others have built for me. I'm wrecked, but I've had two clinically diagnosed break downs, and around three more before that, before I was hauled kicking and screaming into a psych's office to begin the highly complex process of trying to find a combination of drugs that can get the voices to shut the fuck up.
I'm deeply and profoundly sad and weary. But relieved. And calm. And finally accepting that I will never get what I want no matter how hard I fight for it, and that it's time to let go. I am going to have to grit my teeth and pretend to agree with all those idiots telling me I'm disabled, so I can get the financial help I need to pay for my rent while I study for something that won't pay me nearly as much as I was getting before, but hopefully will not lead to my drug dealer adding more medication to my regime. I really don't know how my kidneys are still working tbh.
So yeah. Letting go of fourteen years' worth of ambition and pride, letting a total stranger auction off my worldly possessions, and going to TAFE and studying something that isn't infrastructure or primary services, where I'm not building anything, merely using what others have built for me. I'm wrecked, but I've had two clinically diagnosed break downs, and around three more before that, before I was hauled kicking and screaming into a psych's office to begin the highly complex process of trying to find a combination of drugs that can get the voices to shut the fuck up.
I'm deeply and profoundly sad and weary. But relieved. And calm. And finally accepting that I will never get what I want no matter how hard I fight for it, and that it's time to let go. I am going to have to grit my teeth and pretend to agree with all those idiots telling me I'm disabled, so I can get the financial help I need to pay for my rent while I study for something that won't pay me nearly as much as I was getting before, but hopefully will not lead to my drug dealer adding more medication to my regime. I really don't know how my kidneys are still working tbh.
My boyfriend and I agreed to never have a joint banking account, but he's still going to make me do his budgeting, because he's a man-child. I had Chex Mix and beer for dinner.
Today was okay.
Today was okay.
I found out the haunted hayride I've been working at the past four Octobers won't be running anymore. My days of being a mutant scarecrow that comes to life are over. 
Like a void of nothing, like every day. Just letting them all go by. Don't feel anything anymore, quite honestly. Numbness is better than the alternative though, I guess.
That sucks, I guess someones hanging it up for good. Reminds me of when a local high school stopped their annual carnivals every summer, someone in the athletic club simply didn't feel like keeping that fundraiser going.I found out the haunted hayride I've been working at the past four Octobers won't be running anymore. My days of being a mutant scarecrow that comes to life are over.
I find that happens the older you get.
Taught some classes at M.A.C, did some clients. Pretty normal day. Guess I tried something different with dinner by making fettuccine alfredo.
Possibly, but I am on antidepressants and all they do is make me feel nothing. Also really lethargic.
Pretty rough.
Exhausting both physically and emotionally. I might get fired and it's not even my goddamn fault.
The job is literal shit, and I'd quit if I didn't need the money so badly (the trainer's a stingy motherfucker but $9 an hour is better than nothing). And besides, this is the only job I've been able to get since graduating college. Despite the fact mom literally beat it into my head as a kid that if I didn't make good grades, shoveling horseshit was all I'd be good for.
...I guess that's what they call irony.
This new job I have is basically manual labor, shoveling shit and cleaning up around a barn in the Florida heat; which wouldn't have been so bad if I was still in high school but I've been in a state of inactivity/poor living conditions for so long that my body's had to readapt and it's screaming in agony after only an hour or two of the work.
Unfortunately, though she gave me the job, the horsetrainer who runs the barn hates my mother's horse that stays at her place with an unbridled passion (pun somewhat intended, given that she literally broke a bridle the other day). The thing was already bred out of an exceptional bloodline to begin with and then it lived borderline feral/wild the first two years of its life, and it still shows with how the horse behaves. But somehow mom thinks it'll be her 'therapy animal' so she's been dumping the majority of what little money we have into its boarding and training and feeding expenses.
As a result of having to put up with the shit horse, the trainer takes it out on me, often underpaying/refusing to pay me at the end of the day, giving me extra work to do for no extra pay, and criticizing my work ethic even though I work harder than her former long-term barn help (and through the pain my shit body inflicts too). I'm just waiting for the horse to do something completely exceptional and for me to get fired as a result of that.
Unfortunately, though she gave me the job, the horsetrainer who runs the barn hates my mother's horse that stays at her place with an unbridled passion (pun somewhat intended, given that she literally broke a bridle the other day). The thing was already bred out of an exceptional bloodline to begin with and then it lived borderline feral/wild the first two years of its life, and it still shows with how the horse behaves. But somehow mom thinks it'll be her 'therapy animal' so she's been dumping the majority of what little money we have into its boarding and training and feeding expenses.
As a result of having to put up with the shit horse, the trainer takes it out on me, often underpaying/refusing to pay me at the end of the day, giving me extra work to do for no extra pay, and criticizing my work ethic even though I work harder than her former long-term barn help (and through the pain my shit body inflicts too). I'm just waiting for the horse to do something completely exceptional and for me to get fired as a result of that.
The job is literal shit, and I'd quit if I didn't need the money so badly (the trainer's a stingy motherfucker but $9 an hour is better than nothing). And besides, this is the only job I've been able to get since graduating college. Despite the fact mom literally beat it into my head as a kid that if I didn't make good grades, shoveling horseshit was all I'd be good for.
...I guess that's what they call irony.
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