How would Bob have handled the house fire? -

[CalmMyTits]

We all know that the Chandler house basically imploded post-Bob's death. Well, imploded even more since the Hoard hastened Bob's demise but that's another story...

Anyway, I could not help but wonder how Bob would have handled this event if the Hoard had not eaten him. Would the fire have happened even when he was still alive? I imagine so because Bob couldn't fight the Hoard. But once free of the Hoard, would he have restored some of his vigor and done any of a number of things such as...

divorcing Barb
refusing to live in the new place with her and insisting on a place of his own
taking control of the finances (what Barb is doing now with Chris' tugboat and etc)

I honestly think that the fire might have been a good thing for Bob if for nothing more to get him into a clean place and away from the Hoard.

 

[Artard]

Bob was a very old man, I don't think any of those things would have been possible.

 

[hellbound]

Shit his pants and done nothing.

The man was eighty-something, and showed no signs of controlling the hoard, getting his waste of semen to be productive, or anything except gardening and being crotchety. You think he would have gotten the fuck out of that marriage and taken the reins of Chris' life?

 

[Uzumaki]

Bob would have flown around the world so fast that it spun the planet backwards, time reversed, and the fire never happened.

Being constantly compared to the other Chandlers has turned Bob into a superhero in the minds of some of the people in this forum. He was an old man who kind of, maybe, sort of, if we twist the interpretation just right, wasn't a complete piece of shit (but he probably was anyway). If he was still alive he'd be putting his rubber stamp on the same dumbfuckery the Chandlers are currently engaged in.

 

[Kosher Dill]

But once free of the Hoard, would he have restored some of his vigor

He was a sick man for a long time before that. I think the best thing that could have come of it would be that he'd have spent his final days in a cleaner place.

 

[CalmMyTits]

I don't think Bob was a superhero compared to his wife and youngest child, but I would hope that the fire would be a catalyst for him. Look at Chris and his recent drawings, he's gotten to drawing again. It's not huge, at least to us. I'd like to think that even if Bob wouldn't divorce Barb or anything so drastic, the fire would rustle his jimmies enough for him to make SOME improvement to his life, however small (other than having a clean place to live and sleep)

 

[theobservdr]

Bob has done awesome shit in his day, he would have probably left Barb, because he wouldn't have to deal with the hoard , he may have left completely to start a new life elsewhere.

 

[AtroposHeart]

Well, Bob was no superman, but I think he would have done better at keeping a roof over his head. It looks like Barb and Chris might be evicted any day now.

I think he would at least be trying to make sure they all had a place to leave, hoard, or no hoard.

I don't think Barb really gives a fuck, but at least Bob did have enough sense to get Chris on disability to keep him (relatively) comfortable.

 

[Kaiser Carranza]

This thread is a refreshing reversal on the what will happen when Barb dies derails.

I think Bob reached his limit years before the fire and just looked forward to a peaceful death. He would've gotten his wish if it weren't for Charb. I can imagine few hells worse than being eaten alive by bugs in my death bed.

 

[Meeko]

It depends.

The first scenario is that things at 14BC would progress slightly more smoothly and we'd see a bit more of the horde getting cleaned out. Not a whole lot since he was a bit of a hoarder too, but a little more. He might take a bit more charge with all of the rent house and cleanup, so things might be more laid out for when the rent house time is up.

The second scenario is a bit more grim. Bob was very, very sick towards the end and I can see the smoke damaging him fairly heavily. Chris would have to pick which person he'd help out of the house first and it'd likely be Barb because she's female. Bob would probably have insisted upon it. That means that he'd have inhaled more smoke and would likely have been sent to the hospital. The smoke inhalation paired with his medical problems would run a big risk of killing him. The bigger question in this situation is how the forums and trolls would have responded to the situation and what Chris's mental health would be like. I can see him pushing for a Keurig lawsuit a little harder.

The third scenario is just that Bob would have done little to nothing since he'd spend most of his time asleep and not really caring too much because he'd just be too old and sick.

 

[Xarpho]

I'm just going to quote a very old post from a banned user from January.

I know that if Bob were still alive, he would have tore Chris a second one for burning the house up, and then keeled over from a massive heart attack.

 

[milkshark]

All I'm imagining is Bob's rant from the "that is our house!" video, but about the fire. " Listen to me! That coffee maker stuck a knife in our backs and killed us!"

 

[Hyperion]

I don't think Bob had the strength to carry a catatonic manbaby out of a burning house. He probably couldn't have even moved the pile of stuffed animals Chris was hiding from the fire under.

 

[FifthColumn]

I don't think people on this forum thought Bob was a superhero, or even a terribly good person or father. We just like him because he was a funny old man, with a colorful life story and a wide variety of interests and pursuits. Indeed, I am sorry that I was late to this whole Chris-chan thing, and wish I got to crank call him just once..


He would have been nearly 90 when the house fire happened. I don't think he could have done more than Barb did, I guess probably about the same..

Catalyst? Please.. if there was no catalyst by the time chrissy was a teen there would be no catalyst ever.
I think Bob was content to have Chris stay in his room all day and yell loudly because some part of him just didn't care. He was old, never wanted a kid ( never mind a Chris) and just wanted to enjoy his retirement ( to the extent he could). I do wonder though, if he ever read books by Temple Grandin or talked any autism specialist ever. The excuse that he was from a "different era" really only goes so far for a man living in the modern world, and seeing his own way is going nowhere fast.

 

[generalmeldor]

He would cut the fire down like he did to the internet.

 

[fridgesrants]

I think Bob would have been able to work with the Insurance company better than Barb and the house would have been repaired. Barb is completely incompetent and ruined the chance of their house being repaired.

 

[CalmMyTits]

Oh jeez, I hadn't even thought of what might have happened if Bob died from fire-related causes. Given that Barb refused to clean out the Hoard for her dying husband, she would have likely not accepted any responsibility for his death if he had been unable to escape the house, or escape in time to avoid deadly smoke damage. The stairs were really cluttered and haphazard and it would have been a chore for even a younger, fitter person to escape.

It would have been nice if Bob was still alive, and he tore Barb a new one about the hoard and put his foot down and refused to let her start Hoard 2.0, god damn it. Oh well, it's always nice to imagine things. Bob, despite all his flaws, really did deserve a better/more peaceful/relaxing demise..

 

[exball]

Bob would have died because he was almost 90.

 

[Pikonic]

He would have made sure 14bc got the repairs done sooner.

 

[Someone in a Tree]

If Bob had died in the fire, Chris would have blamed the trolls.