I Caught A Shitlord This Big: The Tall Tales Of Tumblr - And that thread... was Albert Einstein.

Azafran90

Sexiest cenobite "alive"
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The hardest part for me to believe is them talking for a long time when there's probably a long line. I'd be pissed.
They probably shout something like "Armander Hamson" and nothing else.
Assuming of course, the tumblrina didn't chicken out at the last moment and ended up giving her real name.
 
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Dysnomia

Party like it's COVID-1999
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Buckle up chucklefucks because I think I may have found the tallest tale of the biggest shitlords to ever grace tum-blor dawt kawm.

:story:

If she is that scared she can go to a shelter for domestic abuse survivors.

The whole thing sounds like those Satanic panic stories that were so big thirty years ago. This is one of the saddest grifting schemes I have ever seen.

Look Porky, the gubment just sent you twelve hundy. Go off the grid. Suppliment your your survival funds by sucking dick in the woods.
 

Meowthkip

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Buckle up chucklefucks because I think I may have found the tallest tale of the biggest shitlords to ever grace tum-blor dawt kawm.

Of all the things that never happened, this never happened the most.
 

Yangon

Kiwi Kulak
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Buckle up chucklefucks because I think I may have found the tallest tale of the biggest shitlords to ever grace tum-blor dawt kawm.

This was already posted here:
I dunno guys I think this nonbinary jewish sex worker really is going to be sacrificed on an altar by lesbian nazi satanists if she doesn't get $1500 :story:
First she wanted to sell nudes and begged for money because she's hungry, then made up some story about abusive household, then made up a story about a Neo-Nazi satanic girlfriend.
 

Daughter of Cernunnos

#amplifymelanatedvoices
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HIVidaBoheme

"Oooh Giiiingeeeeeer!"
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I know these are Reddit posts but saw them making the rounds on Tumblr. First shot is for context, second is the that_happened.txt
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While I was willing to believe this crock of bs what did it for me was the mom knowing about tucking lmao and having the same size as her so far cis boy who most likely went through puberty and surely couldn't be the same size as her is this is a white person (which is most likely given no info about being any other race has been said).
 

hyperfujis

i like my ouma pancakes with some oowada butter
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I know these are Reddit posts but saw them making the rounds on Tumblr. First shot is for context, second is the that_happened.txt

While I was willing to believe this crock of bs what did it for me was the mom knowing about tucking lmao and having the same size as her so far cis boy who most likely went through puberty and surely couldn't be the same size as her is this is a white person (which is most likely given no info about being any other race has been said).
if the kid had been taking hormones, then surely the mother would have seen that her body/appearance was feminizing? this is fake as hell