Sure Jan.
I Caught A Shitlord This Big: The Tall Tales Of Tumblr - And that thread... was Albert Einstein.
- Thread starter sassyma seed
- Start date
I don’t buy this one but it did make me laugh
I've never heard of a bedroom door that opens outward.
For some reason, that's the least believable thing about the story.
depends on who built the house and how stupid/inept they were.
Some scrub built our house in the 1970s (it had a number of glaring errors) and as a child I didn't realize that they hung the entrance door wrong, so that it opened outwards instead of inwards (even though EVERY OTHER entrance door to a house I have EVER seen, opened inwards). This was corrected during a renovation in the early 1990s but holy crap, anyone with any brains that wanted to get in could just pull the pins and pry the door open, locked or not - fortunately nobody ever did. Though it would be impossible to kick in, lol.
When someone catches you diddling yourself your instinct is to make a last second scramble for decency. So you're telling me they stayed rooted to the spot allowing the dildo to hit the bullseye? Instead of turning around?
I’m guessing it was so far up her ass she couldn’t very well have moved. Or maybe she and her grandmother just have a close relationship.
It says “which snatched the toy out of my butt bringing my sphincter with it”. It’s hard to make an attempt at being decent when your anus is stuck to the door.
It's cute you assume it's a woman.
i've known this post for years, but reading it again now it seems way too ridiculous to be true lol
I’m done. I’m done with conventions. And it’s all because of these two weebs. They are in jail now, but it still won’t help what I went through.
I will not name the convention. The convention and the police and my faimly made a deal. So I will keep the convention name anonymous.
The following is a true story. This story took place from Saturday in October.
Triggers: Assult, Captivity, Violence
Key:
Me- Me (Age 15)
Weeb- Weeb 1 (Age 1
Her friend- Weeb 2 (Age 19)
Convention Security guard- SG (Mid 30’s)
Real Security Guard- Security Guard
It was all perfect. It was sunny and the temputure was warm for October. The perfect day for a convention. I was going as Demeter from CATS. look up her costume. I pretty much spent 6 months on it making it look perfect. I even had the elaborate makeup. I didn’t include the spiked collar, for I knew of weeaboos.
I got to the convention around 9:00 am when it first opened: I was excited. My first convention going by myself.
I picked up my badge and everything was fine and dandy. A lot of people recognized me, and took pictures, which was awesome.
Then she came:
I was walking in the dealers room when I heard a sherik.
“SUGOI! NEKO GIRL!” I was pounced on. My first thoughts went to my costume. After I had made sure it was alright I turned to see a tall and thin girl. She had good hygiene and had a very good cosplay. I assumed it was just a hyper teen.
“I’m actually not a neko girl. I’m cosplaying Demeter from CATS.” I said.
“No! Your a kawaii neko girl! Can I get a photo?” She had her phone out. She was texting someone.
“Sure lets go over here.” I led her to the non crowded side of the dealers room. I struck my cat pose and she squealed.
“Not here; can we do this someplace else? It’s too crowded.” Weeb 1 said.
“Okay.” I followed her out of the dealers room.
She took my down the stairs in a hallway right behind the entrance to the room where Aritist Alley was.
There was no people around, which I assumed she wanted.
I saw a large dog cage. The kind you get for a large dog right next to a railing with a lesh hooked on it. I smirked. Poor dog, the lesh was furry and pink. I assumed it was for a dog.
I think you know what’s coming next.
This is when things started going down hill.
I posed and she held her phone up.
However I heard Weeb 1 yell “Now!”
I felt something choke me around my neck. I felt around my neck. There was a collar around it.
“Neko Girl! Your our pet now! Isn’t that kawii!!!!” Weeb 2 said. This web was tall and broad. She was the typical greasy Weeb.
“Okay now, I’m done with this whole little game.” I moved my hands to remove the collar. Then I felt a shock. They had put a shock collar on me. By now I was freaking out.
“You need training! Taking the collar off or trying to run away is a big no no!” Weeb 1 said.
“If you do these things we will have to give you a little shock.” Weeb 2 said bending down talking like I was a two year old.
“You guys are crazy!” I said backing away.
I made for a sprint and immediately got shocked.
“Now now that’s a no no.” Weeb 1 said.
“She needs a name.” Weeb 2 said.
“How about Sakura! So Kawaii!” Weeb 1 squealed.
“SUGOI! Perfect! Now come on Sakura.” She began to push me ahead of her.
Towards the cage.
At this point I was resisting with all of my might. However Weeb 2 was way to strong. I was forced to get in the cage.
I was trying to hold in my tears at this point. They closed the door and locked it. I then saw them taking the furry lesh that was tied to the railing. Weeb 1 opened the top of the cage and hooked the lesh onto the collar.
“There! Now you can wait here until we get back from buying super cool merch!” Weeb 2 said.
I looked at the lock, it was only a slide one, one that can be opened from the inside by nimble fingers.
“Oh I almost forgot! We wouldn’t want anybody stealing Sakura away!” Weeb 1 said.
“Oh yes! Toss me the lock.” Weeb two said relived. Weeb 1 tossed her one of the master locks. The ones with heavy metal. She hooked it on the bars to wear the door couldn’t be opened without the key.
“Bye Bye!” They said in unison.
Weeb 1 than taped a sign on the front of the cage. It read ‘Do not let out! Extremely untrained!“
They made it looked like I was doing some type of cosplay!
I was left there for four hours. FOUR HOURS!
When they came back they had their arms loaded with Weeb merchandise.
“Aww you’ve been a good kitty.” Weeb 1 cooed.
“Let’s take you out for a walk.” Weeb 2 unlocked the door and grabbed the lesh.
“Remember! If you try to run away we will have to deliver a little shock!” Weeb 1 said waving the remote.
I sighed and allowed them to push me on my knees. I began walking on my knees.
Eventually after having posed for many photos the weebs decided to go to a panel.
“Come here Sakura!” She tugged at the lesh super hard and I was practically dragged to the staircase railing. They tied the lesh to the stair way.
“Back in two hours! Behave Sakura.” Weeb 1 said. They ran away laughing.
This was my opportunity to escape, so I began to untie the lesh from the stairway. Once I got it undone I booked it to SG.
I saw SG. He was sitting on a stool gaming on a DS.
“Excuse me Sir, but I need to report a serious offense!” I said trying to remain calm.
“I saw you earlier! Your costume looks great by the way.” SG said. I realized something was off.
“Wait here, alright.” SG left.
I thought he was getting the police. I thought everything was over.
I was dead wrong.
SG came over with people. But with Weeb 1 and Weeb 2.
“You see; here she is.” SG said. He went over and ruffled the wig I was wearing.
“Sakura you’ve been very naughty.”
What happened next was the worst pain in my life.
The shock felt like a thousand bees were stabbing me in the neck.
I was on my knees from the pain. I heard the lesh being clipped onto the collar.
“I think we need something else to make her not escape.” Weeb 1 said.
Weeb 2 knelt down.
“Hai! Sakura I though that we could trust you.” Weeb 2 began dragging me to a booth.
It was one of those booths that sold… Things.
Weeb 1 bought a pair of handcuffs.
No.
I was done.
I quickly unhooked the lesh and ran for my life. I quickly got out of range, and down to the hotel staff. A real security guard stopped me.
“Excuse me miss, what’s going on?” The real security guard asked. I quickly explained, in tears, what happened. Security Guard nodded.
“They won’t hurt you again. Just go behind the desk. There’s a room with some chairs and water. Just sit there and calm down. There’s a phone there. Call your parents.” He removed the collar and I ran behind the desk and quickly called my parents.
A few minutes later I heard a argument break out. I was lucky that the collar was off me now, because it was vibrating. I would be dead right now if I had that on.
My parents came and we sat down with the hotel manager, the security guard, the two weebs (now in cuffs) and the con leader.
2 hours later the Weebs were charged with kidnap charges and assault.
I am still recovering from the incident.
In short, don’t go anywhere alone with people at a con. And always bring a buddy.
I’m done now, but it isn’t late for you. Please follow my advice and be careful.
This story is very outlandish but I stand by these events wholeheardedly. I’m now going to delete this tumblr.
I quit
I’m done. I’m done with conventions. And it’s all because of these two weebs. They are in jail now, but it still won’t help what I went through.
I will not name the convention. The convention and the police and my faimly made a deal. So I will keep the convention name anonymous.
The following is a true story. This story took place from Saturday in October.
Triggers: Assult, Captivity, Violence
Key:
Me- Me (Age 15)
Weeb- Weeb 1 (Age 1
Her friend- Weeb 2 (Age 19)
Convention Security guard- SG (Mid 30’s)
Real Security Guard- Security Guard
It was all perfect. It was sunny and the temputure was warm for October. The perfect day for a convention. I was going as Demeter from CATS. look up her costume. I pretty much spent 6 months on it making it look perfect. I even had the elaborate makeup. I didn’t include the spiked collar, for I knew of weeaboos.
I got to the convention around 9:00 am when it first opened: I was excited. My first convention going by myself.
I picked up my badge and everything was fine and dandy. A lot of people recognized me, and took pictures, which was awesome.
Then she came:
I was walking in the dealers room when I heard a sherik.
“SUGOI! NEKO GIRL!” I was pounced on. My first thoughts went to my costume. After I had made sure it was alright I turned to see a tall and thin girl. She had good hygiene and had a very good cosplay. I assumed it was just a hyper teen.
“I’m actually not a neko girl. I’m cosplaying Demeter from CATS.” I said.
“No! Your a kawaii neko girl! Can I get a photo?” She had her phone out. She was texting someone.
“Sure lets go over here.” I led her to the non crowded side of the dealers room. I struck my cat pose and she squealed.
“Not here; can we do this someplace else? It’s too crowded.” Weeb 1 said.
“Okay.” I followed her out of the dealers room.
She took my down the stairs in a hallway right behind the entrance to the room where Aritist Alley was.
There was no people around, which I assumed she wanted.
I saw a large dog cage. The kind you get for a large dog right next to a railing with a lesh hooked on it. I smirked. Poor dog, the lesh was furry and pink. I assumed it was for a dog.
I think you know what’s coming next.
This is when things started going down hill.
I posed and she held her phone up.
However I heard Weeb 1 yell “Now!”
I felt something choke me around my neck. I felt around my neck. There was a collar around it.
“Neko Girl! Your our pet now! Isn’t that kawii!!!!” Weeb 2 said. This web was tall and broad. She was the typical greasy Weeb.
“Okay now, I’m done with this whole little game.” I moved my hands to remove the collar. Then I felt a shock. They had put a shock collar on me. By now I was freaking out.
“You need training! Taking the collar off or trying to run away is a big no no!” Weeb 1 said.
“If you do these things we will have to give you a little shock.” Weeb 2 said bending down talking like I was a two year old.
“You guys are crazy!” I said backing away.
I made for a sprint and immediately got shocked.
“Now now that’s a no no.” Weeb 1 said.
“She needs a name.” Weeb 2 said.
“How about Sakura! So Kawaii!” Weeb 1 squealed.
“SUGOI! Perfect! Now come on Sakura.” She began to push me ahead of her.
Towards the cage.
At this point I was resisting with all of my might. However Weeb 2 was way to strong. I was forced to get in the cage.
I was trying to hold in my tears at this point. They closed the door and locked it. I then saw them taking the furry lesh that was tied to the railing. Weeb 1 opened the top of the cage and hooked the lesh onto the collar.
“There! Now you can wait here until we get back from buying super cool merch!” Weeb 2 said.
I looked at the lock, it was only a slide one, one that can be opened from the inside by nimble fingers.
“Oh I almost forgot! We wouldn’t want anybody stealing Sakura away!” Weeb 1 said.
“Oh yes! Toss me the lock.” Weeb two said relived. Weeb 1 tossed her one of the master locks. The ones with heavy metal. She hooked it on the bars to wear the door couldn’t be opened without the key.
“Bye Bye!” They said in unison.
Weeb 1 than taped a sign on the front of the cage. It read ‘Do not let out! Extremely untrained!“
They made it looked like I was doing some type of cosplay!
I was left there for four hours. FOUR HOURS!
When they came back they had their arms loaded with Weeb merchandise.
“Aww you’ve been a good kitty.” Weeb 1 cooed.
“Let’s take you out for a walk.” Weeb 2 unlocked the door and grabbed the lesh.
“Remember! If you try to run away we will have to deliver a little shock!” Weeb 1 said waving the remote.
I sighed and allowed them to push me on my knees. I began walking on my knees.
Eventually after having posed for many photos the weebs decided to go to a panel.
“Come here Sakura!” She tugged at the lesh super hard and I was practically dragged to the staircase railing. They tied the lesh to the stair way.
“Back in two hours! Behave Sakura.” Weeb 1 said. They ran away laughing.
This was my opportunity to escape, so I began to untie the lesh from the stairway. Once I got it undone I booked it to SG.
I saw SG. He was sitting on a stool gaming on a DS.
“Excuse me Sir, but I need to report a serious offense!” I said trying to remain calm.
“I saw you earlier! Your costume looks great by the way.” SG said. I realized something was off.
“Wait here, alright.” SG left.
I thought he was getting the police. I thought everything was over.
I was dead wrong.
SG came over with people. But with Weeb 1 and Weeb 2.
“You see; here she is.” SG said. He went over and ruffled the wig I was wearing.
“Sakura you’ve been very naughty.”
What happened next was the worst pain in my life.
The shock felt like a thousand bees were stabbing me in the neck.
I was on my knees from the pain. I heard the lesh being clipped onto the collar.
“I think we need something else to make her not escape.” Weeb 1 said.
Weeb 2 knelt down.
“Hai! Sakura I though that we could trust you.” Weeb 2 began dragging me to a booth.
It was one of those booths that sold… Things.
Weeb 1 bought a pair of handcuffs.
No.
I was done.
I quickly unhooked the lesh and ran for my life. I quickly got out of range, and down to the hotel staff. A real security guard stopped me.
“Excuse me miss, what’s going on?” The real security guard asked. I quickly explained, in tears, what happened. Security Guard nodded.
“They won’t hurt you again. Just go behind the desk. There’s a room with some chairs and water. Just sit there and calm down. There’s a phone there. Call your parents.” He removed the collar and I ran behind the desk and quickly called my parents.
A few minutes later I heard a argument break out. I was lucky that the collar was off me now, because it was vibrating. I would be dead right now if I had that on.
My parents came and we sat down with the hotel manager, the security guard, the two weebs (now in cuffs) and the con leader.
2 hours later the Weebs were charged with kidnap charges and assault.
I am still recovering from the incident.
In short, don’t go anywhere alone with people at a con. And always bring a buddy.
I’m done now, but it isn’t late for you. Please follow my advice and be careful.
This story is very outlandish but I stand by these events wholeheardedly. I’m now going to delete this tumblr.
whoa the nostalgia of weebstoriesi've known this post for years, but reading it again now it seems way too ridiculous to be true lol
I quit
I’m done. I’m done with conventions. And it’s all because of these two weebs. They are in jail now, but it still won’t help what I went through.
I will not name the convention. The convention and the police and my faimly made a deal. So I will keep the convention name anonymous.
The following is a true story. This story took place from Saturday in October.
Triggers: Assult, Captivity, Violence
Key:
Me- Me (Age 15)
Weeb- Weeb 1 (Age 1
Her friend- Weeb 2 (Age 19)
Convention Security guard- SG (Mid 30’s)
Real Security Guard- Security Guard
It was all perfect. It was sunny and the temputure was warm for October. The perfect day for a convention. I was going as Demeter from CATS. look up her costume. I pretty much spent 6 months on it making it look perfect. I even had the elaborate makeup. I didn’t include the spiked collar, for I knew of weeaboos.
I got to the convention around 9:00 am when it first opened: I was excited. My first convention going by myself.
I picked up my badge and everything was fine and dandy. A lot of people recognized me, and took pictures, which was awesome.
Then she came:
I was walking in the dealers room when I heard a sherik.
“SUGOI! NEKO GIRL!” I was pounced on. My first thoughts went to my costume. After I had made sure it was alright I turned to see a tall and thin girl. She had good hygiene and had a very good cosplay. I assumed it was just a hyper teen.
“I’m actually not a neko girl. I’m cosplaying Demeter from CATS.” I said.
“No! Your a kawaii neko girl! Can I get a photo?” She had her phone out. She was texting someone.
“Sure lets go over here.” I led her to the non crowded side of the dealers room. I struck my cat pose and she squealed.
“Not here; can we do this someplace else? It’s too crowded.” Weeb 1 said.
“Okay.” I followed her out of the dealers room.
She took my down the stairs in a hallway right behind the entrance to the room where Aritist Alley was.
There was no people around, which I assumed she wanted.
I saw a large dog cage. The kind you get for a large dog right next to a railing with a lesh hooked on it. I smirked. Poor dog, the lesh was furry and pink. I assumed it was for a dog.
I think you know what’s coming next.
This is when things started going down hill.
I posed and she held her phone up.
However I heard Weeb 1 yell “Now!”
I felt something choke me around my neck. I felt around my neck. There was a collar around it.
“Neko Girl! Your our pet now! Isn’t that kawii!!!!” Weeb 2 said. This web was tall and broad. She was the typical greasy Weeb.
“Okay now, I’m done with this whole little game.” I moved my hands to remove the collar. Then I felt a shock. They had put a shock collar on me. By now I was freaking out.
“You need training! Taking the collar off or trying to run away is a big no no!” Weeb 1 said.
“If you do these things we will have to give you a little shock.” Weeb 2 said bending down talking like I was a two year old.
“You guys are crazy!” I said backing away.
I made for a sprint and immediately got shocked.
“Now now that’s a no no.” Weeb 1 said.
“She needs a name.” Weeb 2 said.
“How about Sakura! So Kawaii!” Weeb 1 squealed.
“SUGOI! Perfect! Now come on Sakura.” She began to push me ahead of her.
Towards the cage.
At this point I was resisting with all of my might. However Weeb 2 was way to strong. I was forced to get in the cage.
I was trying to hold in my tears at this point. They closed the door and locked it. I then saw them taking the furry lesh that was tied to the railing. Weeb 1 opened the top of the cage and hooked the lesh onto the collar.
“There! Now you can wait here until we get back from buying super cool merch!” Weeb 2 said.
I looked at the lock, it was only a slide one, one that can be opened from the inside by nimble fingers.
“Oh I almost forgot! We wouldn’t want anybody stealing Sakura away!” Weeb 1 said.
“Oh yes! Toss me the lock.” Weeb two said relived. Weeb 1 tossed her one of the master locks. The ones with heavy metal. She hooked it on the bars to wear the door couldn’t be opened without the key.
“Bye Bye!” They said in unison.
Weeb 1 than taped a sign on the front of the cage. It read ‘Do not let out! Extremely untrained!“
They made it looked like I was doing some type of cosplay!
I was left there for four hours. FOUR HOURS!
When they came back they had their arms loaded with Weeb merchandise.
“Aww you’ve been a good kitty.” Weeb 1 cooed.
“Let’s take you out for a walk.” Weeb 2 unlocked the door and grabbed the lesh.
“Remember! If you try to run away we will have to deliver a little shock!” Weeb 1 said waving the remote.
I sighed and allowed them to push me on my knees. I began walking on my knees.
Eventually after having posed for many photos the weebs decided to go to a panel.
“Come here Sakura!” She tugged at the lesh super hard and I was practically dragged to the staircase railing. They tied the lesh to the stair way.
“Back in two hours! Behave Sakura.” Weeb 1 said. They ran away laughing.
This was my opportunity to escape, so I began to untie the lesh from the stairway. Once I got it undone I booked it to SG.
I saw SG. He was sitting on a stool gaming on a DS.
“Excuse me Sir, but I need to report a serious offense!” I said trying to remain calm.
“I saw you earlier! Your costume looks great by the way.” SG said. I realized something was off.
“Wait here, alright.” SG left.
I thought he was getting the police. I thought everything was over.
I was dead wrong.
SG came over with people. But with Weeb 1 and Weeb 2.
“You see; here she is.” SG said. He went over and ruffled the wig I was wearing.
“Sakura you’ve been very naughty.”
What happened next was the worst pain in my life.
The shock felt like a thousand bees were stabbing me in the neck.
I was on my knees from the pain. I heard the lesh being clipped onto the collar.
“I think we need something else to make her not escape.” Weeb 1 said.
Weeb 2 knelt down.
“Hai! Sakura I though that we could trust you.” Weeb 2 began dragging me to a booth.
It was one of those booths that sold… Things.
Weeb 1 bought a pair of handcuffs.
No.
I was done.
I quickly unhooked the lesh and ran for my life. I quickly got out of range, and down to the hotel staff. A real security guard stopped me.
“Excuse me miss, what’s going on?” The real security guard asked. I quickly explained, in tears, what happened. Security Guard nodded.
“They won’t hurt you again. Just go behind the desk. There’s a room with some chairs and water. Just sit there and calm down. There’s a phone there. Call your parents.” He removed the collar and I ran behind the desk and quickly called my parents.
A few minutes later I heard a argument break out. I was lucky that the collar was off me now, because it was vibrating. I would be dead right now if I had that on.
My parents came and we sat down with the hotel manager, the security guard, the two weebs (now in cuffs) and the con leader.
2 hours later the Weebs were charged with kidnap charges and assault.
I am still recovering from the incident.
In short, don’t go anywhere alone with people at a con. And always bring a buddy.
I’m done now, but it isn’t late for you. Please follow my advice and be careful.
This story is very outlandish but I stand by these events wholeheardedly. I’m now going to delete this tumblr.
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