I counted calories for 29 days straight... - 09/07/19


i counted calories for 29 days straight.... - 9/7/2019 (The Nightmare Continues - technically Day 81 of 100)
Because I hate myself and my blood pressure enough to watch these "inscrutiateen" videos so YOU DON'T HAVE TO:

(The lack up upper-case MANIC title suggests this didn't go well.)

- Watching old season of Big Brother on TV.

- Amberlynn Vlogs: "Doing Laundry" by pointing at things and claiming she's doing something. Enjoy some bonus footage of a cat being active, as opposed to the LardBeast, who is holding the camera and is inactive.

- Deteriorating nail polish rifling through her accumulated makeup shit.

- "I'm not that gorl with a ton of makeup" (No, she prefers to be the gorl with a literal ton of fat deposits!)

- "'We' just got done cleeneen." (Time for some R&R atop Pillow Mountain feat. Necky under the covers!)


- Plug that they're watching some other YouTuber. (Y'all should go watch other YouTubers - thanks, Hamber!)

- "Today is September 6th" and the vlog that went up was admittedly bad (so bad she had to waddle her OWN account into the comments) SHELF-ASS-PATS ALL AROUND for not failing the one challenge that rakes in the YouTube bux!

- "It's been hours and hours" now. She is "going through some stuff". Her world is "falling apart".

- Instagram post mentioning "mentally I feel handicapped" while not mentioning her severe physical handicap. She's taking over a full minute to READ ALOUD the post (spoiler alert: "STILL UPLOAD" sadly won). IT IS 11:04PM CURRENTLY.

- Reads shelf-ass-patting DMs "at random".


(Hamber's even allowed there? Is the rumor mill going to continue spreading Necky's Mom Has Cancer amid this shocking development??)

- Confirms Day 81 (Happy to know my count hasn't been off)

- Journal Bullshit.

- "If I ate a tic tac, I write it in this."

- Claims to have been counting calories for 29 days straight, "whether I'm on track or off track, because I'm curious as to how many calories it takes to gain weight, maintain, and lose weight" (without identifying that CALORIES OUT from exercise also play a factor)

- ScientistLynn in "fool effect".

- She literally cannot remember what she ate earlier in the day, suggesting her brain is fucked up, or her memory simply can't hold that MUCH information to run down the full list!

- Twinkie Storr and Necky both get to look at Hamber like she's crazy. TEEHEE.

Comment from "why eating on camera helps me..." (out of 2,668): Bender Rodriguez - "Girl... you're eating enough salad for five people. If you want to lose weight, you need to cut your portion sizes down."
Response: "AH DIS-UH-GREEEEE. When you are my size and you're counting calories, you do get a little more calories than the average person."
- "I'd rather have 500 calorees worth of a delicious salad."
- "If I had one portion, that's only 120 calorees and that would NOT let me 'thrive' the rest of the day."
- "Trust me, it's okay."

TL;DR: SKIP, unless you want to watch Hamber & The HamBabies performing their greatest hits from their "Shelf-Ass-Pattery" album.


bag o' bones
Kate Winslet sure was spot on with her palpatine comparison lmao
Amber is looking like she headed to the dark side

"This is not the gorl you're looking for"
UwU pwease dont huwt me
apple watch flex AND makeup flex?
Necky looking flawless in the neighborhood
Using the force on Twank
Jfc her skin is RUFF


True & Honest Fan
That look on her face when "71% still said upload..."

Screen Shot 2019-09-07 at 9.52.23 AM.png

Amber said:
I’m having another hard day where I mentally feel handicapped from happiness, motivation or anything other than pain and sorrow. This is all personal and I would not like to talk about it right now.
Oh, I'm sure you don't Amber, I'm sure you don't. Go cry to someone else, lol

Dry Gorl

Thoughts slip in my mind like maggots on a train
"I'm helping Becky put away HER clothes"

Lol Amber is so giving and so helpful y'all. She does so much around the house, not for herself, but for lazyass Becky. Or... is it that this is the only time she did a tiny little thing, she had to announce it in a vlog? But where's the camera when Becks does all the chores while Ricky cooks for everyone AND has a full time job?

Poor hardworking Hamber, she has a giant journal labeled "WORK WORK WORK" where she has to write her "grocery list" which she then has to order Becky to fetch from Wommart. This is so much work, isn't it? I feel so bad for you gorl. :'( No wonder she needs a break from the 100 days. But the mean demanding audience doesn't want to let her rest!

Madam Spergwell

True & Honest Fan
She said she was going to check the date of her visit to Becky's family to see if it conflicts with her 100 days of uploading, but did she ever say the dates? Whatever, she'll use it as an excuse to quit the challenge whether she's out of town or not. And I really want a peek into that calorie counting journal for the days she's off track. Which let's face it, is every day, salad or not.