I got fucking stabbed! - 0/10 don't suggest

[cockgoblin]

Yeah, the other night I got to go through the joy of a b+e, attempted assault, and shanking. I would have gotten stabbed much worse but the cat I complain about a lot saved my idiot ass. He tackled the dude with all of his paws/claws extended.

Remember to lock your doors behind you! Don't get knifed! Even a little knifing is really, really unpleasant. Luckily I didn't have to have surgery, but I still have a cool new torso-mouth.

Spoiler

 

[aqua sama]

where did it happen?

 

[slimes]

Now draw the rest of the face on it. Make it a YouTube star and force it to perform.

(No but getting any kind of deep wound sucks. Glad you and your cat didn’t get hurt more than this.)

 

[Chaos Theorist]

Whats the full story here?

 

[ES 148]

Ow, looks nasty. Hope it heals up soon enough, I'd hate for anything to fall into it.

 

[obliviousbeard]

That looks like handy place to store change for parking.

 

[Nazi vegeta]

was he a nigger?

 

[Postal Dude]

Did he slice you open like a salmon while staring you in the eyes?

Jokes aside, I hope you're okay dude. Make sure to keep up on your aftercare. Only thing worse than getting a wound like that would be getting a raging infection afterwards.

 

[Ass eating cunt]

RAD!

 

[cockgoblin]

where did it happen?

On my side, pretty much parallel to my belly button. Close to things like kidneys, so yes, feeling lucky.

(No but getting any kind of deep wound sucks. Glad you and your cat didn’t get hurt more than this.)

Seriously. My only thought was that I was terrified he was going to try to kill my cat.

Whats the full story here?

Oooooh god, okay. I live in a big city and was out having a couple drinks with friends. I live very close by so I decided, hey, I'll just walk home. 2am drunk brain is stupid as fuck. Anyway, when I went into my building someone followed me in, which I didn't think anything of since it's a large building and lots of people try to go in alongside someone else rather than hunt for their own key. Went up to my unit, unlocked the door -- and got tackled from behind by this dude, who was grabbing me TIGHT.

He said some pretty fucked up shit about fucking and the usual, and I tried to fight him off. Earned myself a couple of hits to the face and a split eyebrow. This is about when the cat attacked - in the chaos I reached for the kitchen knife to try and scare the fucker off, but in the aftermath, he wrestled it from me. The part that cracked me up is that I started spraying blood IMMEDIATELY, and dude looked like he was gonna pass out and ran. 911 was called, report was made, and my chollo neighbors are now keeping an eye out for me and acting like guardian angels.

Ow, looks nasty. Hope it heals up soon enough, I'd hate for anything to fall into it.

That looks like handy place to store change for parking.

i am getting conflicting messages

Did he slice you open like a salmon while staring you in the eyes?

I fucking wish, since that would mean it never happened.

So you now have an abdominal unclit?

tbh this thing is actually more of an abdominal pussy, sorry cwc looks like someone else got it done better than you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

So you now have an abdominal unclit?

For real though, glad you didn't get mangled worse. Good think that cat was around.

 

[CHEEEEEN]

Based cat. Get well soon!

 

[Nazi vegeta]

damn, your cat must be really huge, if it did something to that faggot.
But seriously, never walk alone to home at night, especially if you're a girl.
This is why this shit happens.

 

[cockgoblin]

he is a big ol boy, and he jumped down from the top of the refrigerator so he had a height/surprise advantage, plus it let him get his claws into neck and shoulders, definitely more startling than a cat biting the legs.

And yeah. That was me seriously not thinking clearly. It was close enough that like a dumbass, I figured it would be fine, even knowing that distance traveled doesn't actually make you more or less likely to be attacked.

Also, if you're wondering about my general mood, I like to compartmentalize and shove existential horror to the back in favor of self-deprecating humor! Example: It's a good thing my personal training lessons don't start until June, because this goddamn fat saved my life.

 

[Chaos Theorist]

On my side, pretty much parallel to my belly button. Close to things like kidneys, so yes, feeling lucky.


Seriously. My only thought was that I was terrified he was going to try to kill my cat.



Oooooh god, okay. I live in a big city and was out having a couple drinks with friends. I live very close by so I decided, hey, I'll just walk home. 2am drunk brain is stupid as fuck. Anyway, when I went into my building someone followed me in, which I didn't think anything of since it's a large building and lots of people try to go in alongside someone else rather than hunt for their own key. Went up to my unit, unlocked the door -- and got tackled from behind by this dude, who was grabbing me TIGHT.

He said some pretty fucked up shit about fucking and the usual, and I tried to fight him off. Earned myself a couple of hits to the face and a split eyebrow. This is about when the cat attacked - in the chaos I reached for the kitchen knife to try and scare the fucker off, but in the aftermath, he wrestled it from me. The part that cracked me up is that I started spraying blood IMMEDIATELY, and dude looked like he was gonna pass out and ran. 911 was called, report was made, and my chollo neighbors are now keeping an eye out for me and acting like guardian angels.



i am getting conflicting messages


I fucking wish, since that would mean it never happened.


tbh this thing is actually more of an abdominal pussy, sorry cwc looks like someone else got it done better than you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Was he trying to rob you?

 

[aqua sama]

On my side, pretty much parallel to my belly button. Close to things like kidneys, so yes, feeling lucky.

I meant which place did that happen at, but you've already explained all
luckily both of you are safe. Pepper spray could also have helped you in this situation.

 

[cockgoblin]

Was he trying to rob you?

honestly i wish. from what he was saying he was trying to rape me.

I meant which place did that happen at, but you've already explained all
luckily both of you are safe. Pepper spray could also have helped you in this situation.

definitely. i actually already got some, and have a whistle/self defense classes coming up as soon as i can move without popping a fucking leak.

 

[Slap47]

Seems like a good place to store stuff in the case of future holdups and robbery's.

 

[Count groudon]

I gotta give you props, for someone who just got shanked you seem pretty jolly. But I'm happy you're okay, and your cat's pretty rad for going Vietcong on the guy.

 

[cockgoblin]

I gotta give you props, for someone who just got shanked you seem pretty jolly. But I'm happy you're okay, and your cat's pretty rad for going Vietcong on the guy.

it's my natural reaction to cover fear/pain/whatever with off-colored humor. i think one of the first things i said to the doctor was, in fact, "good thing i haven't started that diet yet!" when i saw that the cut had gone through some adipose tissue.

also, it is easy to be jolly when you're loaded as fuck on percs.