I just got my first hand job at a massage parlor AMA -

[Dafuqisdis?]

I actually wanted a legit massage because I have arthritis in my hips and they were killing me along with my lower back.

Couldn't wait 2+ weeks for an appointment at one of the legit chain massage parlors so I went to a kinda suspect one near my house and got a solid 30 minute massage from a busty asian lady followed by getting jerked off while I touched her shit. Good customer service A+ would do it again.

 

[The Jumping Dwarf]

The handy you got from the hobo in the alleyway next to your house does not count as a massage.

 

[Dafuqisdis?]

The handy you got from the hobo in the alleyway next to your house does not count as a massage.

It does if you pay him.

 

[Dafuqisdis?]

I guess I should get tested for Covid now. She was probably Chinese.

 

[MediocreMilt]

How old of a virgin were you to finally get a girl to touch your penis when you already had arthritic hips?

 

[Dafuqisdis?]

How old of a virgin were you to finally get a girl to touch your penis when you already had arthritic hips?

I've basically been an incel for the last couple of years because my LT girlfriend is pretty much uninterested in sex. So now I'm reduced to this.

 

[MediocreMilt]

I've basically been an incel for the last couple of years because my LT girlfriend is pretty much uninterested in sex. So now I'm reduced to this.

Become a Captain in your relationship so your Lt. Girlfriend will do what you want.

 

[ICraveDeath]

You got arthritis before you've ever had a handjob? How small and diseased is your penis lmao

 

[Dafuqisdis?]

You got arthritis before you've ever had a handjob? How small and diseased is your penis lmao

No it wasn't my first handjob. Just the first at a massage parlor.

I haven't even hit middle age yet. I have a health condition that causes arthritis.

 

[nekrataal]

Her name? Albert Einstein.

 

[Florence]

You got arthritis before you've ever had a handjob? How small and diseased is your penis lmao

No wonder his girlfriend doesn’t want sex

 

[Dafuqisdis?]

No wonder his girlfriend doesn’t want sex

Not anymore anyway.

I should go to reddit with my problems. They'll know what to do.

 

[Dafuqisdis?]

I've had cortisone shots in both my knees and in both my hips and I'm not even 40 yet.

 

[CBDsoap]

who are you and why are you telling us this

 

[The Shadow]

I've had cortisone shots in both my knees and in both my hips and I'm not even 40 yet.

Jeez did you play pro football or something?

 

[Dafuqisdis?]

Jeez did you play pro football or something?

No there's no way to tell what's causing the arthritis because there are no rheumatoid factors present but it's probably because I have a coundition that's sometimes know to cause inflammation/arthritis.

My body is breaking down without me even really using it.

 

[Dafuqisdis?]

who are you and why are you telling us this

I thought you might like a trip report about asian massage parlors incase you ever need to use one. There are probably a lot of Kiwis in need.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

No there's no way to tell what's causing the arthritis because there are no rheumatoid factors present but it's probably because I have a coundition that's sometimes know to cause inflammation/arthritis.

My body is breaking down without me even really using it.

Under the circumstances, I’d probably visit a hooker too.

 

[timecop]

quit trying to be mysterious about your cock and just show us

 

[Dafuqisdis?]

Under the circumstances, I’d probably visit a hooker too.

I think one of the reasons my girlfriend doesn't bang anymore is because I've been having difficulty with it and I guess it caused her to lose interest.