I just made an Overwatch Webtoon.... - No high expectations, but I hope for some exposure and support... oh well

  • Sustained Denial of Service attacks. Paid for botnet. Service will continue to be disrupted until I can contact other providers and arrange a fix.

edricluffie

Learning Artist
kiwifarms.net
And is hoping that you guys can read it and let me know what you think!

The 1st chapter:
https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/overwatch-unofficial-tales/deadly-dva-the-beginning-of-the-storm/viewer?title_no=115288&episode_no=1

The 2nd chapter:
https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/overwatch-unofficial-tales/the-traitor/viewer?title_no=115288&episode_no=2

Here are some cover and panel art:

DD2 cover.jpg


DD2-01.jpg


Would be really great to get some support and feedback here, thank you!!
 

MerriedxReldnahc

Sir Richard Pump-A-Loaf
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Your cover art is really nice! The linework is very clean, and the pink outlines have a nice aesthetic that you wouldn't have gotten if you had just used black, and it works well with the soft color palatte
In the comic itself you have some great compositions going and interesting panel layouts (things I wish I was better at, ha ha). The only critical things I would say is that some parts get kind of sketchy, and I don't think you really need to have the dialogue color change based on who's speaking. (At least I think that's what you were doing, I wasn't sure in the first chapter.)
But yeah, that's cool stuff. 👍 Keep up the good work!
 

Diabeetus

The hyeckin frickyen sweetist
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Just came to comment this since I played the game just 15 minutes ago.
It's just a fact. You can't dispute TF2's better-ness above Overwatch.

Also, another thing for OP: if you want True & Honest support from the Farms, participate with the community and make art related to the site. People will tolerate this thread because your art's cool, but if you want to get more than tolerance, try drawing profile pictures or something.
 

Exorbital Columnations

A dog's rights activist, a lover, a friend.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Not bad; I liked the art and some of the jokes appealed to the child in me. Where you fell down is the writing; find somebody to do some editing for you and it will flow a lot better. All in all I was surprised that this wasn't complete trash so good jawb.
 

HeyYou

YOU BETTER RUN!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
You know what, you have talent. Normally I'd make fun of shilling your shit on Kiwi Farms of all places, but it's actually not bad. Just work on the script a little bit to make it flow better and you're good, but I'm guessing you're Korean or otherwise don't speak English as a first language.
 

edricluffie

Learning Artist
kiwifarms.net
Your cover art is really nice! The linework is very clean, and the pink outlines have a nice aesthetic that you wouldn't have gotten if you had just used black, and it works well with the soft color palatte
In the comic itself you have some great compositions going and interesting panel layouts (things I wish I was better at, ha ha). The only critical things I would say is that some parts get kind of sketchy, and I don't think you really need to have the dialogue color change based on who's speaking. (At least I think that's what you were doing, I wasn't sure in the first chapter.)
But yeah, that's cool stuff. 👍 Keep up the good work!

Lol yeah, it does get kinda sketchy, since drawing comic is quite laborious hehe.
Not a hentai doujin

7/10 needs more titties

The titties will be on another chapter. Titty chapter needs to be sparse to feel more precious.
You know what, you have talent. Normally I'd make fun of shilling your shit on Kiwi Farms of all places, but it's actually not bad. Just work on the script a little bit to make it flow better and you're good, but I'm guessing you're Korean or otherwise don't speak English as a first language.
Thankssss hehe. Well I am indonesian actually, and i do speak english pretty well, perhaps even considered my first language, with Indonesian second, and chinese third.
 

HeyYou

YOU BETTER RUN!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Thankssss hehe. Well I am indonesian actually, and i do speak english pretty well, perhaps even considered my first language, with Indonesian second, and chinese third.
I can't blame you for not knowing every Western English phrase, then. Some pieces of dialogue just feel a bit off to English speakers in America/Britain, like Gabriel saying "set in ages", instead of "set in stone for ages" or "in place for ages" or something along those lines. Just suggestions, though, because otherwise the writing seemed fine and I have no complaints about the art.
 

Give Her The D

You have been BAMBOOZLED
kiwifarms.net
Thankssss hehe. Well I am indonesian actually, and i do speak english pretty well, perhaps even considered my first language, with Indonesian second, and chinese third.

I know of a lot of Indonesian artists that draw in a generally anime style. Is anime really popular in Indonesia? Just curious.
 

edricluffie

Learning Artist
kiwifarms.net
I know of a lot of Indonesian artists that draw in a generally anime style. Is anime really popular in Indonesia? Just curious.
yeah, anime is generally more popular due to it being more accessible (piracy), and cheaper to consume. For manga, a company here does a translated version with low quality paper, but it's cheap.
Since the majority of Indonesians are actually poor, they can't afford any of those expensive western/european comics, since there's nobody here doing a cheap translated version here. And the imported english comics are darn expensive here due to the additional tax.
 

Surf and TERF

Ouisandrê
kiwifarms.net
Nice work, but I don’t think it’s smart to post your comic on KF. I suspect a large portion of your potential audience could be turned off by the fact you have an account here. It only takes one dramatic callout post to kill your reputation. Especially in the online art world.
 

Frank D'arbo

It is 5 am and You are Listening to Los Angeles
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
my only critique is that D.va's nose could use a bit of work, but other than that good job
 

Crichax

Repented Before The Emperor
kiwifarms.net
Also, if you want to save time, you can always use a 3D modeling program that supports cartoon-style renders (like Blender) to make fake "2D" objects.
 

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