I met a girl and my heart is pounding -

[NQ 952]

my heart is in my throat and I'm nervous and sweaty when I think about her. am I dying? should I call the police?

 

[DangerousGas]

should I call the police?

No, but she might want to.

 

[dacote]

Careful she doesn't trigger your fight or flight response, and remember to claim self-defense.

 

[Funnybone]

if she doesn't spread her vagina apart for you on the 2nd meeting you need to move on

 

[Maiden-TieJuan]

Sounds like aarythmeia or tachycardia. Seek cardiologist.

 

[DNJACK]

if she doesn't spread her vagina apart for you on the 2nd meeting you need to move on

thats not how it works. you need to spread her vagina.

 

[Funnybone]

thats not how it works. you need to spread her vagina.

Like this?

 

[DNJACK]

its a good start

 

[DNJACK]

What a succesful date look like:

Spoiler

 

[Morose_Obesity]

my heart is in my throat and I'm nervous and sweaty when I think about her. am I dying? should I call the police?

You should immediately to tonguepunch her fart box

 

[AnimuGinger]

She has a boyfriend. But you're such a nice guy.

 

[Feline Darkmage]

Remove your heart immediately, its the only cure.

 

[Meat_Puppet]

What the hell are you doing just sitting around then? She needs to know things. You can start by writing her a 15 page letter with the names of your future kids, your married names, how the sex will be the best she ever had and a detailed description of any (real or fake) disabilities you might have.

 

[Coldgrip]

You need to talk with her about it. Start by asking her if this rag smells like chloroform. Then when she wakes up in your basement tied to a chair (because you don't want her falling out of it and injuring herself, you are a gentleman after all), tell her how she makes you feel. Be sure to go into detail about everything so there is no gray area here. If she starts freaking out offer her some a soda with rohypnol in it. Now after she's calmed down ask her if she want to go out with you and possible have sex. If she stays silent then the answer is yes, after all, silence is consent in the eyes of the law.

 

[Malodorous Merkin]

my heart is in my throat and I'm nervous and sweaty when I think about her. am I dying? should I call the police?

 

[Anchuent Christory]

The correct course of action is to awkwardly broadcast opinions about video games, anime and politics at her. After she declines to add you on facebook, remember to follow that up with a rant about how girls only want assholes and not nice guys.

Follow these simple steps and she'll be yours in no time.

 

[Picklepower]

She might want the D.

 

[RockVolnutt]

Pull out your club and bring her back to the cave

 

[ForgedBlades]

Chad's eight inches deep in her as I type this, my brother.

 

[Stephen Hillenburg]

Enjoy it, my friend. That is the best possible feeling you could ever have; life seems to much brighter and you look forward to waking up just so you can look at her and talk to her. There is no better feeling--unless you actually get to be romantic with her.