i shouldn't feel like this - 3/19/18 - clickbait and crocodile tears

[LightEmittingDiode]

I have gotten 5 minutes in:

- bad lighting guise
- feels alone with even a house full of fellow gays
- 2 weeks on pills
- my chest is heavy, mind is running, mom's spaghetti
- death happens to everyone
- I don't have diabetes, guise

I can't do any more, it's an unedited mess of rambling, crying, and excuses.

 

[Stanley_Buttkiss]

Anti-Depressants can take WEEKS or a month to work. If she did her research like she said she did - then she'd know this. Also. If she's feeling 'Lonley' then perhaps she should stop alienating the people around her. I don't want to powerlevel but perhaps she has a form of bipolar disorder that's undiagnosed if she's going through such emotional extremes. Obsessive shopping is a symptom of Mania as well as poor impulse control.

 

[Xenomorph]

What a shitty acting job, come on Amber, you've made better pity videos than this.

 

[Long time lurker]

ninja'd again. I'll try to find a way to delete the thread I created. Failing that, I'll contact a mod to merge/delete.

I don't know why, but I think she's going to delete this one. I'm trying to figure out a way to save it elsewhere.

 

[sixcarbchiligorl]

I don't want to powerlevel but perhaps she has a form of bipolar disorder that's undiagnosed if she's going through such emotional extremes.

I was thinking the same but Borderline Personality Disorder. It could very well be either.

 

[CC 855]

I was thinking the same but Borderline Personality Disorder. It could very well be either.

Nah. Self-harm/suicide attempts are a hallmark of BPD.

 

[Xenomorph]

Lol I hope Dusty was the one who didnt believe her about her not having the beetus.

 

[Whatthefuck]

Nah. Self-harm/suicide attempts are a hallmark of BPD.

I mean, I'd call eating yourself to death self harm. It's not traditional cutting or suicidal tendencies, but it's pretty self destructive.

 

[Azshara]

Ugh depressing to watch, imo.
She starts talking about how someone close to her (hmmmm I wonder who) also did not believe her when she said she was not diabetic, and it really messed her up because someone other than a haydurr thinks she's a liar. She's so, so alone and depressed and the anti depressants aren't working for her. She's going to "message a therapist" since they still haven't called and she supposedly has phone anxiety (we saw her make the appointment for the doctor, why is she so scared to call a therapist or just go make an appointment in person?) She just goes on and on about the same stuff and cries a a lot. Totally a pity party.

Since she says she wants constructive criticism and not "tough love", this is what I think she needs to do:
Give the pills at least a month before she starts acting like they don't work. If they don't, go back to the doctor. Or better yet, schedule a therapist appointment ASAP because she will never succeed in her weight loss journey as broken as she is. Food is the only thing that makes her feel happy. When she's eating, all of her depression goes away, but it's slowly killing her and driving her crazy at the same time. She needs some serious therapy and for her enablers to S T O P enabling her before she kills herself.

 

[classtrash]

"If you weren't fat you wouldn't be depressed."
"I've been depressed my whole life"

Yeah, she has also been obese her whole life. Sure, being skinny doesn't cure depression, but being able to actually do things would probably help elevate her mood. She's treating youtube like a therapist now. She's scared to call the therapist, but is ok with telling the whole world that her depression talks to her... k

 

[FitBitch]

-She just wanted to talk even though she hates being a burden
-She doesn't have diabetes x5
-She just like feels like the only person in the world and no one understands her (narcissist)
-She wants constructive criticism, she needs it in her life

Fake tears to fill my cup and six ads because she wasn't too depressed to forget why she's really doing this lezbereel.

 

[497]

Lol I hope Dusty was the one who didnt believe her about her not having the beetus.

I immediately thought the depression she's having is from Dusty moving away... like she's going through the breakup all over again. If Dusty was also the one that didn't believe her about the diabetes then that's a double whammy... but I'm thinking maybe it was one of the gays.

 

[melissarendato]

i bet it was Eric who said the thing about diabetes. i mean the only options are:

-Becky
-Ricky (maybe she overheard a convo between ricky and eric?)
-Krystle (possible)
-Destiny (i don't think Destiny cares enough about Hamber to make a comment like this)

she doesn't have any other friends

 

[GORL]

ninja'd again. I'll try to find a way to delete the thread I created. Failing that, I'll contact a mod to merge/delete.

I don't know why, but I think she's going to delete this one. I'm trying to figure out a way to save it elsewhere.

There's an app called NewPipe if you're interested in downloading her video.

 

[cow4prez2024]

I mean, I'd call eating yourself to death self harm. It's not traditional cutting or suicidal tendencies, but it's pretty self destructive.

I completely agree. Also, it's been well-documented that eating disorders--anorexia and bulimia certainly but also binge-eating disorder, which we know/she has said many times she has--are very common in people with BPD. Also, her manipulative and attention-seeking behavior, particularly when she feels like other people are going to abandon her, and the shit she pulls in order to make sure they won't leave, are really common in BPD to the point where they are also a hallmark of the disorder (one of the criteria is "frantic efforts to avoid abandonment"). I feel like there is a significant possibility that she have it due to her background, pattern of behaviors, and general inability to function (compounded by her obesity because it seems to be a vicious cycle with her), although I'm not qualified to diagnose anything.

The nine criteria for BPD in the DSM are:

• Frantic efforts to avoid abandonment.
• A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
  
• Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
  
• Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (including substance abuse, reckless spending/driving, unprotected sex, binge eating, etc.).
  
• Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, threats, or self-mutilating behavior.
  
• Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).
  
• Chronic feelings of emptiness.
  
• Inappropriate anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).
  
• Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

In order to get a diagnosis you have to meet at least five out of these nine criteria. I think our gorl definitely might.

 

[sixcarbchiligorl]

Nah. Self-harm/suicide attempts are a hallmark of BPD.

Eating yourself to 500lbs counts as self-harm/suicide attempts.

 

[Rotogravure]

Also appears to be filmed on 3/12. Girl was busy that day

 

[ragonastick]

I kinda believe that she's feeling worse, considering that's something that antidepressants can do initially. That's why you should see a therapist or a doctor frequently when you start antidepressants. This will probably make her stop taking them though, since she hasn't researched them at all and doesn't know any of the side effects of antidepressants or how long it takes for them to work like they should. You should also get new blood tests done after a while to check serum levels to see if you're at the right dosage, but she won't do that either.

EDIT: And yeah, depression is a chemical imbalance, but it would definitely help her to have a healthy sleep schedule, stay sober, eat healthier, get out more, etc. All the stuff people do to be more stable when they have mental health issues.

 

[mellifluous]

If the fact Twinkie will pass away someday is so concerning to her (a valid concern for a pet owner), why has she persistently failed to do something about Twinkie's obesity? Twinkie's morbid obesity is hardly going to increase her lifespan.

 

[Rotogravure]

Any one save this?