I WENT TO A WEIGHT LOSS DOCTOR - 7/14/2019

L_I_F_T_E_D

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Did I miss something?

Doctor wants her to lose 8lbs a month, which translates to 96lbs in a year.

He said in 4 years he wants her to weigh 310lbs.

96*4 = 384lbs lost. So if she has to lose 384lbs to get to 310lbs, that means her current weight is 694lbs.

Did I screw something up or did anyone else catch this, too?
Someone else did that math too and called her out on it on Twitter.

ALR-GoalWeightMath-190714.png

So the 384 elbees the DOCTOR plans for her to lose, versus HER goal weight of 170, would suggest that her "starting weight" is 554? That also doesn't seem to be right, either. But then again, Vaguelynn is frequently misleading people by "rounding" numbers.

Prepare for her trolling to continue because now she has this claim of why she'll NEVER provide a recorded weigh-in of ANY kind (until the autopsy records, of course).

@Tiny Clanger Hello dahling 😘

This is a rumor that has kind of spun out a bit. I have seen no proof that she ever said her and her doctor don't see eye-to-eye. Redditfags are re.tarded. Here is the tweet that started all the bullshit:

View attachment 841407

See, she's not saying she doesn't agree with the diet itself.

Her doctor wants her to get to 300-something (I forget the exact number) and Amberlynn's long-time goal weight was 199 but then she lowered it even further to like 170 not too long ago.

e: So, the doctor gave her a goal weight for one year from now. Amberlynn disagrees but it's unclear if she disagrees because she thinks she can't lose that much, or thinks she can lose more... who knows
That ties into the "two different ideas" of goal weight comments.
 

Gorlax

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Sorry gorls, not been keeping up with our favourite cheesy mastodon.

Is this the same doc she announced she "didn't agree with" on Twatter? Not that she'll ever agree with any doctor until medical science catches up with our brainiac bloater and agrees with her informed knowledge that weighing in tonnage is positively beneficial to humans and tucks the resultant Nobel in her coffin shipping container, but her timeline fuckery is now so severe we need a Time Lord to sort it out. And that's not happening, cos Doc Who already popped into Rolling Hills and decided that going back to make friends with Davros was the better part of valour.

Do we know which of her many, many medical professionals she's currently lying about? Has the Singing Doctor taken off to live her dream with an opera company, or is she just not accepting Fat Albert's calls any more? Is the navel-cheese-sichyayshun actually decomposition or has whatever she slathered on that poor, defenceless cucumber finally found/carved out an exit? Has Erk's hair cleared quarantine yet? And how the FUCK did they get her out of her bath the paddling pool without serious heavy plant to assist? Or did the scraped-off barnacles provide some purchase underfoot?

All these things and more.
This is the kind of literacy Amberlynn thought she had when she composed her magnum porpoise, "Rain and Petals Eavesdrop."
 

Daisy

I have a complicated relationship with Mondays
kiwifarms.net
Hamber walking in place for 10 minutes a day would see her definitely losing 8 pounds a month. But I think this Doctor basically pegged her as not serious and Hamber just made all this shit up. She likely went in expecting to be penciled in for a surgery because she's a big youtube star.

Then she got told there was conditions and it was frankly, not fucking safe to operate on her, post eating out taco bell later, we got these lies. Every thing in this thread makes me feel she truly walked in there and was bitchslapped with the reality she infact, is currently to far gone for WLS. She has a raging infection on her stomache/or did about this time. The very place they'd be cutting up was infected. Uncontrolled diabetes. <You need to maintain a 200 mg/dl or less in general for surgeries if type 2 diabetic, which Hamber is. Uncontrolled diabetes just invites a horrible fucking infection and wound healing scenario.>

So the surgeon very likely explained to her, professionally.... she didn't qualify with out meeting several conditions, and gave her the name of specialists for it. <A surgeon wouldn't be the one to help some one lose weight before surgery at Hamber's size. They clearly need inpatient help. Give it a few months if she's alive, I bet she claims the WL Surgeon was an asshole etc etc when he really was very polite, but starkly realistic. She needs the surgery, to get it she needs to see these people and hit these goals..and if she doesn't..well ..wanna bet the WLS guy basically told her if she refused proper help, she'd die?

She has a habit of fiercely denying reality when ever it hurts her narrative...and this? This definitely fucking makes no sense and in no reality did this happen. This really sounds like her standard made up numbers routine.
Really? I always assume bulk like that would require a lot to make a dent in it. Though now that I think of it, maybe in her case there's nowhere to go but...well, down, since we're talking weight here. Plus I'm not a doctor so I had a feeling I might be wrong!

And I may have forgotten that her doctor told her she wasn't qualified for surgery. My bad.
 

Barbarella

Guards! To the Mathmos with this winged fruitcake.
True & Honest Fan
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I read the testimonials on that site and thought they were all 300 pounders too, until I got to the bottom of page two. There is a woman who was 275 in 6th grade and was 623 by the time she went to see this doc in her early 20s. She’s so far lost 200 lbs after surgery.

Still testimonials on a doctor’s page are whatever they decide to put up and are meaningless.

I think Amber just doesn’t want surgery and that is what this doctor does. All the other stuff must be a lah. It’s possible he wanted her to lose a few pounds before the next appointment, to prepare her for a liquid diet before surgery. And maybe he was telling her that without surgery, she would only lose 8 pounds a month, and would reach her goal for a decade and he didn’t want to see her die in that slow process so surgery was best. Amber is not a reliable narrator.

And, the great writer doesn’t understand somebody can say “throw away the scale” and not mean literally? He could have said don’t weigh yourself, she says “impossible, I’m addicted”, and he says, “well, do whatever you can,put it in a closet, throw it away if you must, but it’s not healthy to focus on every half pound.” All she hears is throw it away.

And so we continue our slow, inexorable move towards the end.
 

SAVE TWINKIE!

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It still doesn't make sense. If she loses 8lbs per month, in four years she would be right about at her goal weight of 170.

8lbs x 12 months per year x 4 years = 384 pounds lost. Alleged current weight ~555 - 384 = goal weight of ~170.

So why is her doctor saying he wants her to be 310 in 4 years? Like whuuuuuuuut

:stress:
 

Gorlax

kiwifarms.net
Having earned my very professional MD from watching 600lb Life, it seems unlikely to me that Amber is too far gone for WLS. Just look at James K, motherfucker was 800lbs with all that creepy crud on his legs and basically immobile. If you thought the Thumb was a slave...

And Dr. Nowzardan still took him on seriously as a patient (although much like Amber, he was less than grateful for it). I know we like to exaggerate on the farms and personally I wish this was the case so Amber could just accept her sentence and show us her fucking layygs already so she can afford a casket her fat ass will fit in, but there have got to be realistic options for her. The only thing stopping her from taking them is the fact that she doesn't live in reality.
 

keyboredsm4shthe2nd

CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES! GRIND THEIR BONES INTO DIRT!
kiwifarms.net
Someone else did that math too and called her out on it on Twitter.

View attachment 841563

So the 384 elbees the DOCTOR plans for her to lose, versus HER goal weight of 170, would suggest that her "starting weight" is 554? That also doesn't seem to be right, either. But then again, Vaguelynn is frequently misleading people by "rounding" numbers.

Prepare for her trolling to continue because now she has this claim of why she'll NEVER provide a recorded weigh-in of ANY kind (until the autopsy records, of course).



That ties into the "two different ideas" of goal weight comments.
That's funny. 96lbs in a year? No. No weight loss doc would want that when the patient is 600 elbees because if that's the requirement for an operation, the operation will never happen. These people can't guarantee they'll wake up tomorrow, let alone four years from now. That's why last chance drastic docs like Dr. Now exist, because if they don't get their shit together they won't live to see next year.
 

GargoyleGorl

Token SJW
kiwifarms.net
Hamber walking in place for 10 minutes a day would see her definitely losing 8 pounds a month. But I think this Doctor basically pegged her as not serious and Hamber just made all this shit up. She likely went in expecting to be penciled in for a surgery because she's a big youtube star.

Then she got told there was conditions and it was frankly, not fucking safe to operate on her, post eating out taco bell later, we got these lies. Every thing in this thread makes me feel she truly walked in there and was bitchslapped with the reality she infact, is currently to far gone for WLS. She has a raging infection on her stomache/or did about this time. The very place they'd be cutting up was infected. Uncontrolled diabetes. <You need to maintain a 200 mg/dl or less in general for surgeries if type 2 diabetic, which Hamber is. Uncontrolled diabetes just invites a horrible fucking infection and wound healing scenario.>

So the surgeon very likely explained to her, professionally.... she didn't qualify with out meeting several conditions, and gave her the name of specialists for it. <A surgeon wouldn't be the one to help some one lose weight before surgery at Hamber's size. They clearly need inpatient help. Give it a few months if she's alive, I bet she claims the WL Surgeon was an asshole etc etc when he really was very polite, but starkly realistic. She needs the surgery, to get it she needs to see these people and hit these goals..and if she doesn't..well ..wanna bet the WLS guy basically told her if she refused proper help, she'd die?

She has a habit of fiercely denying reality when ever it hurts her narrative...and this? This definitely fucking makes no sense and in no reality did this happen. This really sounds like her standard made up numbers routine.
Agreed. She was given a list of conditions she'd need to meet in order to have life-saving surgery, and she heard, "Walk for two minutes, five times a day".

But she says it with such a chipper voice and relaxed expression on her face that you almost buy it -- until you realize that this is ALR we're talking about here, and "relaxed and chipper" doesn't mesh with "I'm starting a diet tomorrow". Even if it is an absurdly easy one.

Someone else did that math too and called her out on it on Twitter.

View attachment 841563

So the 384 elbees the DOCTOR plans for her to lose, versus HER goal weight of 170, would suggest that her "starting weight" is 554? That also doesn't seem to be right, either. But then again, Vaguelynn is frequently misleading people by "rounding" numbers.

Prepare for her trolling to continue because now she has this claim of why she'll NEVER provide a recorded weigh-in of ANY kind (until the autopsy records, of course).



That ties into the "two different ideas" of goal weight comments.
This makes even less sense, though.

It still doesn't make sense. If she loses 8lbs per month, in four years she would be right about at her goal weight of 170.

8lbs x 12 months per year x 4 years = 384 pounds lost. Alleged current weight ~555 - 384 = goal weight of ~170.

So why is her doctor saying he wants her to be 310 in 4 years? Like whuuuuuuuut

:stress:

I'm willing to bet that AL "The Walkeen Calculator" did the math backwards when she was scripting the video (in other words, making shit up). So she tried to come up with numbers that would make sense with the doctor's alleged plan, but she fucked up and substituted one lah (goal weight: 310) for another lah (goal weight: 170).

I mean, really. If she's 565 now and the doctor wants her at 310 in four years, that's a total of 255 lbs. That's about 5 lbs a month. Maybe she's trying to claim that HER goal is 8 lbs a month, which would put her at a svelte 180 lbs after four years.

But she dun goofed when she said it. Numbers are hard, y'all.

EDIT: If it's still not clear what happened, it went like this.

Assume she's currently 550 lbs.

550 - (5 x 48 )= 310 --> She wants us to believe this is what the doctor said to do.
550 - (8 x 48 ) = 166 --> This is what she's "planning" on doing, in order to reach her personal goal.

She just said it backwards in her video.

This is what they didn't see eye-to-eye on. Allegedly, of course. I find it hard to believe a professional would think either 5 OR 8 lbs a month is an appropriate goal for this woman.

And did she do any blood tests or anything? No? No mention of that? Okay then. So the doctor doesn't even really know what her condition is as he's telling her to throw away her scale? Okey dokey.
 
Last edited:

MirnaMinkoff

Mama, nobody sends you a turd and expects to live.
True & Honest Fan
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A year ago I used to sorta of see the brown beetus knuckles. I know she’d put foundation on to hide them so they weren’t really obvious in many videos.

Now, holy shit, she’s not even pretending to care no more. It looks like she’s been wiping her ass with those knuckles. It’s down right scary looking. She’s going to go blind or have a stroke if she doesn’t get treatment.

Also, she didn’t go to any WLS doctor. No doctor on earth would tell her to throw out her scale and lose 2 lbs a week. First thing he would have done is get her A1C levels checked and told her she needs to lose 2 lbs a day.
 

497

kiwifarms.net
if she stuck to this "guy's" plan in 3 years she could finally fit into all of those dainty torrid shirts/dresses.

didn't the Optavia sales person say AL could lose 200 or something pounds in a year? someone like her could lose it fast. Dr. Now expects patients to drop 20-30lbs in a month. 8 pounds a month, even if she were insured, it would take 3 years to get to a weight to operate on her. I wonder if he gave Becky any weight loss surgery info- she has insurance and I think she is still light enough to operate on.
 
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Casket Base

walden farms shill
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When you're *that* fat, your adipose tissue acts as another organ that sucks up macro/micronutrients at the expense of your lean tissue. I can believe that Amberliner would be recommended a slow + steady weight loss goal in an effort to preserve whatever musculature has yet to atrophy, slowly build density in her (quite possibly) brittle bones, and keep her knees and heart intact until she's at a weight where she can safely engage in strenuous activity. Her health is in such a state that her alleged short term goals provided by her alleged doctor are not unreasonable.

All of this I could believe, but Amberliner is a laaahhh and I don't trust a single sing-song note of her voice.
 

sperginity

everything is terrible
True & Honest Fan
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What I got out of this: The doctor told her she needs surgery. She said she can't afford it. He gave her some plan that will fail, and he told her not to weigh herself at home to induce maximum despair when she has her next visit and weighs in heavier than ever. Then he can sell the surgery even harder to her when she is at her most vulnerable. Jokes on him though, she probably won't go to a follow up appointment.
 

Wyzzerd

Magical advice for reasonable fees.
kiwifarms.net
How can Amber fail on so many lies at once? Lying about her weight is a simple number! You pick a number and never leave from it until you find a way to go way under it to brag to your haydurs. It's not that hard, hell she can use one of her million journals to write down all her lies and whenever she forgets just go back to the book of lies. Plus when she croaks Becky can auction the book off for a chunk of change.

Can we finally get up to date or atleast finish the backlog so we can put together a proper timeline for this mess and move onto charting her final days?
 

keyboredsm4shthe2nd

CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES! GRIND THEIR BONES INTO DIRT!
kiwifarms.net
How can Amber fail on so many lies at once? Lying about her weight is a simple number! You pick a number and never leave from it until you find a way to go way under it to brag to your haydurs. It's not that hard, hell she can use one of her million journals to write down all her lies and whenever she forgets just go back to the book of lies. Plus when she croaks Becky can auction the book off for a chunk of change.

Can we finally get up to date or atleast finish the backlog so we can put together a proper timeline for this mess and move onto charting her final days?
Narcs have terminal stupid.
 

Chihiro

kiwifarms.net
okay maybe the doc meant he wants her to lose at MINIMUM 2 lbs a week? And all Hamber heard was "lose two pounds a week thats it anymore and you will starve"

I know a lot of docs say that losing 2 pounds a week and to lose it slowly is the right way to keep it off long term.

However, this is a deathfat we are talking about here, for the first couple months you can probably get them to lose 10 lbs a week if they stay in track.

None of this really matters anyways, she has already stopped seeing this doctor and we will probably never hear of it again.
 
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