If Chris Died... -

[Quip]

During my Uni days back in 2009 a bizarre video of a mentally disabled man was projected onto the wall at a dorm party we were all getting wasted at. It consisted of an awkward spectacled guy stood in a room full of garbage wearing a suit outlining his disturbing plans for the arrival of a girl named Ivy. This was my first taste of CWC. It turned out to be the now renowned classic 'The Rape of Ivy'.

I've followed Chan's wacky antics ever since and have never been let down by his onslaught of self-annihilating, tragic behaviour. No matter how shit life sometimes gets i can always rely on a dose of Chan to lift my spirits.

I guess my question is: What do you think the general reaction would be if Chris snuffed it?

I'll leave it at that.

 

[The Jumping Dwarf]

I'm more worried about what will hapen when Barb dies, myself.

 

[Randy Lahey]

If Chris died, the mods would have to close more or less great threads, I'm not sure which.

 

[Ryuuzaki (L)]

Then we get a thread called what if chris was still alive

 

[UGADawg08]

Hooray, more cancerous shitposting that belongs in "Random Thoughts & Questions".

 

[Loxiozzz]

That'd be a very depressing day on the farms. Yelling JULAYYYYYYY would never be the same again.

 

[Asandy31]

No one could ever replace Chris, there's just something endearing and consistent about our autist. The world changes, but Chris never seems to, all his incarnations while different always have the same theme--desperation and a false sense of superiority.

 

[BillRiley]

Kiwis would shit themselves and do nothing.

 

[Kusottare]

One of us must take his place.
"Chris" is an identity.
"Chris" is not one single human.
Chris is eternal.
Chris cannot die.
Chris will never die.
We are all Chris.

 

[cans.wav]

Go to the containment what if thread pal

 

[January Cyst]

If Chris Died..

....he would be dead.

 

[ZehnBoat]

IF?
if

chris has a choice in this matter?
chris can be immortal?

 

[Gym Leader Elesa]

IF?
if

chris has a choice in this matter?
chris can be immortal?

I mean, he has failed at nearly all else. Why not dying?

 

[Dr. Meme]

There will come a sad day in the future when this FAT FUCK will die and we will hath lost our most prized LULZCOW.

We should all realize that this FAT FUCK is not forever... One of these days, he's going to get dick slapped by a homosexual black man, and then he is going to kill himself on the youtube in shame (accidentally I might add, because we know he couldn't technically do it himself). That is, after he pulls his pants down in church and uploads it to the internet in order to prove that he is straight. So when the time comes for his inevitable burial.

So that's why we must form a DEATH DAY PARTY for our friend, Christian Weston Chandler. I'm saying we should IRL crash & raid his funeral, turning it into a "FUN!"-eral, wearing Guy Fawkes masks and pickle suits and all "PARTY HARD!!!" with loud music, free food, and drink. Flamboyant homosexuals are utmost welcome .

We should spend the time there giving all these "sincere" mementos and speeches about how Christian sucked and how the state of Virginia will be better off without him and how the mysterious smell has finally dissipated!

Most importantly, the "big speech", we must recite his entire life and all his failures to everyone there, starting from his failure to say mommie (MUNKY!) to his creation Sonichu, to the inevitable future moment when he pulls his pants down in church and gets heroically raped by a homosexual black man.

Then, after we finish telling our audience every single minor detail, complete with projector screens showing every CWC video from the CWCville library youtube channel, in chronological order I may add, we will all proceed to spit, fart, piss, shit, and masturbate on his tombstone, kicking it and screaming "FUCK LIFE! WHAT A WASTE!" "FUCK YOUR LIFE! WHAT A WASTE!" and write "REST IN PIECES FAG" on the headstone while other may pour pickles and tartar sauce all over his grave. Firecrackers are also a necessity, I would suggest lighting them off at the start of our raid, as hundreds of picklemen storm the gates open blasting confetti over bystanders.

I'd itch to dig up the corpse and set it on fire but I digress that to be too much, because the smell of burning ASS and AXE would be FAR too much to handle. However I will say by the time we start to close out we will bring forth the shattered remains of his treasured Sonichu medallion. We sprinkle the hardened crayola model magic shards on the mess of pickles and tartar sauce like nuts on a sundae. The cherry. you may ask? His high school ring.

After we're done, and everybody cheers us for our grand show, we pass out political activist pamphlets for abortion and against welfare , for we must educate America on how to prevent fucktards.

And thus, the first, and last CWC convention. It would be the perfect spot for the first and last "CWC"-con, with major trolling celebrities welcome to come. The red carpet should definitely be rolled out for Blue Spike and Liquid Chris. In the course of the main events, such as the "big speech", panels will be held by the likes of veterans trolling celebrities and JULAY! fags alike.

After all, if the endless supply of LULZ were to die, we have to make sure it goes out with a BANG!

 

[José Mourinho]

ffs there's a search function at the top right and we have tons of threads which fit this question better

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/what-kind-of-legacy-would-chris-leave-behind-once-he-dies.16684/
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-and-death.1038/
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/what-would-happen-if-chris-died.15763/

Also if Chris died only a few people including us compared with the entire Internet would care about it since he's pretty obscure.