If Chris really did hire a prostitute... -

[2_CUTE_2_BOLT]

Why doesn't he hire another? Or was it such an awkward and unpleasant experience that it won't happen again? (Assuming he wasn't lying about the first one.)

 

[Da Pickle Monsta]

I seem to recall Chris saying that he wanted to wait for his Ground-up Sweetheart next in some of the leaked FB messages. Chris has always seen sex as more as a rite of passage than anything else.

Plus, why pay for a hooker when there's vidya to buy?

 

[Bob's Fries]

Why doesn't he hire another? Or was it such an awkward and unpleasant experience that it won't happen again? (Assuming he wasn't lying about the first one.)

Too expensive? Probably. But I still can't believe he did and done it. He's too retarded and poor for that. I remember that one time he called for that one other prostitute from Craiglist? Yeah, that. (I don't mean to be A-loggy).

 

[2_CUTE_2_BOLT]

Why doesn't he hire another? Or was it such an awkward and unpleasant experience that it won't happen again? (Assuming he wasn't lying about the first one.)

Too expensive? Probably. But I still can't believe he did and done it. He's too retarded and poor for that. I remember that one time he called for that one other prostitute from Craiglist? Yeah, that. (I don't mean to be A-loggy).

Me too. I would still be surprised if he lied and gave the "hint" to make us think that he did get some hankey-pankey. But I am not so sure if Chris is capable of such planning...

 

[Bob's Fries]

Why doesn't he hire another? Or was it such an awkward and unpleasant experience that it won't happen again? (Assuming he wasn't lying about the first one.)

Too expensive? Probably. But I still can't believe he did and done it. He's too retarded and poor for that. I remember that one time he called for that one other prostitute from Craiglist? Yeah, that. (I don't mean to be A-loggy).

Me too. I would still be surprised if he lied and gave the "hint" to make us think that he did get some hankey-pankey. But I am not so sure if Chris is capable of such planning...

Same guy who wanted instant results and was being led along with his bent duck like a retard...

To be honest, I really doubt it. I seriously do.

 

[Kosher Dill]

No, people in the know have confirmed it. He really did hire a prostitute.

 

[Anchuent Christory]

As I understand it, hiring the hooker was simply to lose the "hated virginity"

At first he claimed he was introduced to somebody by a friend and they had sex.Then, when people were speculating he said something about her being from the back pages.

As for hiring another? well the first one served her purpose of taking his virginity and any others will simply cost money that he's already spent on vidya and McDonalds.

 

[Bob's Fries]

Good lord, I feel sorry for that prostitute. With his grease-skinned body and cavities/sugar infested mouth...

I'm stopping there before I break your minds.

 

[Anchuent Christory]

Good lord, I feel sorry for that prostitute. With his grease-skinned body and cavities/sugar infested mouth...

I'm stopping there before I break your minds.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that Chris wasn't the worst client she's had. There's a LOT of freaks out there who's only chance to have sex is to pay for it.

 

[CatParty]

I'm thinking he soured to the idea of intercourse. Sure he got the prostitute and sure she'll of course be the best (only) woman he'll ever have sex with, but maybe it didn't live up to his porn riddled standards in his mind. He probably thought going into it that it would be super hot and sexy, but in the end he probably froze up and it became extremely awkward.
So here you have this individual who is socially retarded to begin with, who has no real human interaction engaging in a very intimate act. He wa probably so confused and awkward and embarassed. So the prostitute gives him the whole "your dick is so big" spiel to try to loosen him up. But then all of a sudden it's over. And he thinks to himself "that's it?"
No magical doors were opened. No life changing event. He didn't automatically become an adult. He's no better off than before, just $100 in the hole.

 

[QI 541]

Chris really loathes the idea of having to resort to a prostitute for sex. He only hired a prostitute because he was afraid of going to prison as a virgin.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

As I understand it, hiring the hooker was simply to lose the "hated virginity"

At first he claimed he was introduced to somebody by a friend and they had sex.Then, when people were speculating he said something about her being from the back pages.

From reputable sources he got her because he didn't want to die a virgin in prison. His plan was to not eat the food and starve to death.

 

[The Joker]

I'm thinking he soured to the idea of intercourse. Sure he got the prostitute and sure she'll of course be the best (only) woman he'll ever have sex with, but maybe it didn't live up to his porn riddled standards in his mind. He probably thought going into it that it would be super hot and sexy, but in the end he probably froze up and it became extremely awkward.
So here you have this individual who is socially retarded to begin with, who has no real human interaction engaging in a very intimate act. He wa probably so confused and awkward and embarassed. So the prostitute gives him the whole "your dick is so big" spiel to try to loosen him up. But then all of a sudden it's over. And he thinks to himself "that's it?"
No magical doors were opened. No life changing event. He didn't automatically become an adult. He's no better off than before, just $100 in the hole.

He had to have been panicing. I do not think that many Johns give the prostitutes gift baskets (most likely filled with dollar store candies) and mention that they are autistic virgins with rage. To her he was some creep that would go towards her rent. To him, she is a hero who took his long despised virginity and saved him from being the 40 year old virgin.

 

[MysticMisty]

I'm thinking he soured to the idea of intercourse. Sure he got the prostitute and sure she'll of course be the best (only) woman he'll ever have sex with, but maybe it didn't live up to his porn riddled standards in his mind. He probably thought going into it that it would be super hot and sexy, but in the end he probably froze up and it became extremely awkward.
So here you have this individual who is socially retarded to begin with, who has no real human interaction engaging in a very intimate act. He wa probably so confused and awkward and embarassed. So the prostitute gives him the whole "your dick is so big" spiel to try to loosen him up. But then all of a sudden it's over. And he thinks to himself "that's it?"
No magical doors were opened. No life changing event. He didn't automatically become an adult. He's no better off than before, just $100 in the hole.

I would definitely go with this. Especially since his sex fantasies with his sweethearts were all porn inspired. The apparent gift basket afterwards is really funny however.

 

[hm yeah]

I would have loved to see a photo of the gift basket.

Anyway, I doubt he'll hire another prostitute. I think he was probably really, really disappointed with what he got (I doubt his dick went in), and he'll probably save his money for McD's and vidya, and he'll be back to humping little soggy hand towels.

 

[LM 697]

Because he still wants to have True and Honest sex with his future sweetheart.

 

[BillRiley]

Too expensive? Probably. But I still can't believe he did and done it. He's too retarded and poor for that. I remember that one time he called for that one other prostitute from Craiglist? Yeah, that. (I don't mean to be A-loggy).

Me too. I would still be surprised if he lied and gave the "hint" to make us think that he did get some hankey-pankey. But I am not so sure if Chris is capable of such planning...

Same guy who wanted instant results and was being led along with his bent duck like a retard...

To be honest, I really doubt it. I seriously do.

Frankly, the whole topic makes me All the evidence we've got is a couple facebook posts and the word of one of the kewl kids. Even if it happened, it changed abso-tootly-ootely nothing about Our Pet Manbaby.

 

[3Yikes]

Frankly, the whole topic makes me All the evidence we've got is a couple facebook posts and the word of one of the kewl kids. Even if it happened, it changed abso-tootly-ootely nothing about Our Pet Manbaby.

Why would it change anything? Sex doesn't change much of anything for anyone in general. Unless HIV.

 

[cheersensei]

He's quite possibly lost that "got dang" virginity. Slash one thing off of things he wishes to do in his life. Now it's time to find that sweetheart, get Crystal, and then do nothing with his life.

In all seriousness though, it's hard to tell with him. He's backpedaled it at one point, or it was a very clever shop with his account.

 

[GroundUpSweetheart]

I would have loved to see a photo of the gift basket.

Anyway, I doubt he'll hire another prostitute. I think he was probably really, really disappointed with what he got (I doubt his dick went in), and he'll probably save his money for McD's and vidya, and he'll be back to humping little soggy hand towels.

There possibly is a photo. On his eBay page a few months ago, he listed this. I posted it in a thread and never got a confirmation or denial that this was the same basket rejected by the prostitute, but I don't know how else it would have come into his possession.

He said he "put together" the basket but it wouldn't be the first time he exaggerated the effort he put into something. Or maybe he doesn't understand what "put together" actually means. And even Chris might know better than to admit that a prostitute refused his gift. So can anyone in the know enlighten us?