If DSP Competed In... - Hypothetical Scenarios

[Heckler1]

As we all know, Phil is terrified of human contact to an extent he will avoid potentially beneficial arrangements if it means he might have to interact with another person. My question is then this: If for whatever reason DSP did compete in some kind of public event (gayming or not gayming related), what would be the funniest/best possible competition/outcome?

My personal pick would be DSP tries it: A cooking competition with a live audience. Watching him bullshit his way through his authentic Italian cuisine, even against other amateurs, would be hilarious. Especially when it came to his ego visibly deflating while under the scrutiny of judges.

He would of course have a tablet open with streamchat telling him how to try and make his recipes of course.

 

[It's HK-47]

I don't know that much about DSP, but I'm fairly certain he used to be competitive in Street Fighter or something, didn't he? That would be the best place to look to see how he behaved in public competitions, I would imagine.

 

[Comma]

If for whatever reason DSP did compete in some kind of public event (gayming or not gayming related), what would be the funniest/best possible competition/outcome?

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/home-buyers-seminar-tickets-51476816544

 

[Heckler1]

I don't know that much about DSP, but I'm fairly certain he used to be competitive in Street Fighter or something, didn't he? That would be the best place to look to see how he behaved in public competitions, I would imagine.

Yes, but I'm talking about current oldmanphil with his layers of lies and insecurities.

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/home-buyers-seminar-tickets-51476816544

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Not a competition, but clearly something Phil should have done. Even if he did go, I don't if he would actually retain anything. It would be pretty funny to listen to him talk about buying houses like he was an expert though.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

Phil in a tabletop campaign. He constantly fucks up combat, character creation, and role-playing.

 

[FixinShibe]

I Wonder how it would go when phil buys a car from like carvana or something

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

Phil in a hotwing eating contest.

 

[break these cuffs]

Phil in a hotwing eating contest.

How spicy does he like his Mighty Wings?

 

[Shokew]

Phil taking part in a walk-out, just swept up in the moment or some shit like it. Watch him try to act like he's above everyone, somehow...

 

[KingjadVCMP]

Phil being in charge of making the most successful YouTube Rewind video ever, and deciding to omit the more popular YouTubers out of sheer jealousy while trying to hijack the show turning it into his promised Project 7 reboot.

 

[Shokew]

Phil writing any sort of media reviews and being in a competition who's the best at it / sucks the least at it, judged accordingly. It'll really kill his ego to see his opinions aren't just unpopular because they suck and have no value to him, but just to once and for all point out how much of a tard he is.

 

[Raven'sChild]

Phil in a hotwing eating contest.

How spicy does he like his Mighty Wings?

...Popeye's 'spicy' chicken is to hot for D$P. Anything hotter than a MILD wing would probably kill him.

 

[Wurstbrot]

He would be a champion in filling a balloon with hot air.

 

[Hungrymandinner]

I’d pay a scad of bits to watch DSP Tries It: USMC Boot Camp. It would be both hilarious to watch and beneficial to Phil. He is so deeply flawed at this point that he needs to be completely broken down and remade.

 

[ZehnBoat]

Phil in a tabletop campaign. He constantly fucks up combat, character creation, and role-playing.

phil would either rage quit after his second bad roll, or get whipped into submission by the DM

edit: I CAN SPEL

 

[Commander Keen]

Dick suckin’ Lulz. Put that boy on the corner and see him turn tricks to make rent.

 

[harbinger]

... in the Special Olympics, then he would actually play some games with his fans.

 

[Zaryiu]

Phil in a tabletop campaign. He would be THAT guy.

 

[BeanBidan]

Fortnite dance competition

 

[Pargon]

Phil defending his graduate thesis/dissertation. Imagine the fearless King of Hate being made to defend an argument, any argument, in public before a panel of experts and peers.

It would be the first time a human being shat out their own spine.