If Phil Was Smart - Just for funsies - Don't take this thread too seriously friend

[tripmix]

"If Phil was smart" could be a 5000+ page thread and/or the biggest DSP meme.

Well lets see if that's true.

Wait....

If Phil was smart he wouldn't have a 5000+ page long thread on kiwifarms.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

If Phil was smart, he wouldn't be dealing with bankruptcy.

 

[JuanButNotForgotten]

If Phil was smart, he would've invested money from his piggies into creation of his own gacha-game, which would've made him the best there by default.

 

[Gramh]

I'll play!

If Phil was smart, he'd have realized that spending ~$1200 on a totally adult tax attorney to nickel and dime the government costs more than doing your own taxes on computer software i.e. TurboTax.

 

[NIGGER ASS PEE POOPY RAPE]

if Phil was smart he wouldn't keep uploading videos of himself masturbating to his gaming channels that thousands hundreds of children watch

Spoiler

 

[Pretty Boy Extremism]

If Phil was smart, he'd still have friends and a loving girlfriend (now wife probably) and wouldn't settle with living like a friendless hermit with a horse wife and a cat son.

 

[cjöcker]

If Phil was smart is such a redundant question. Phil wouldn't be Phil if he had critic thinking abilities. This thread is so pointless.

 

[Neko GF]

IMO, if DSP wasn't as stupid as he is, he would barely be worth noticing. The majority of the things that make DSP a lolcow stem from his stupidity, most notably his inability to follow basic instructions in video games, dumping thousands into mobile games and getting himself into an insane amount of dept stem from his stupidity.

 

[Gramh]

If Phil was smart is such a redundant question. Phil wouldn't be Phil if he had critic thinking abilities. This thread is so pointless.

Well that's the fun of the topic, Phil has done nothing intelligent since he began being documented. Considering how many times in all of his other threads the concept of "If Phil didn't compulsively do stupid shit he would ____" springs up it is kinda topical for DSP.

 

[Troonos]

If Phil were smart, he'd be able to take responsibility for at least one of his infinity mistakes instead of blaming literally everyone else.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

This list could go on forever, but here are just a few off the top of my head:

+ He would've put that bacon grease in a Zip-Lock bag and tossed it in the trash where it belongs.
+ He wouldn't hooked up with Leanna, let alone still been a virgin by the time he was that age.
+ He would've waited for that fire alarm to stop before recording that unboxing video, along with actually opening the fucking thing.
+ He wouldn't be known for a stupid vest.
+ He would actually have money laying around for stuff.
+ He would've kept his head and face shaved.
+ He would still be friends with Rambo and Howard.
+ He would live in an area more conducive to his income.
+ He would have an actual house, or at least about the nicest apartment in the area.
+ He would have sponsorships.
+ He wouldn't have gone bankrupt.
+ His credit score wouldn't be in the double digits.
+ The video that Pocok made demonstrating how his Dark Souls Redemption run was anything but redeeming, wouldn't exist.
+ "This Is How You Don't Play" would've been inspired by someone else, if at all.
+ There would be no compilations titled "DSP Being Racist".
+ He never would've bitched about not getting a Wolverine toy.
+ He would always wear his glasses, without fail, and do way better at video games (among other things).
+ He wouldn't need to stream six days a week, or for the rest of his life.
+ His pre-streams would be ten minutes at the most.
+ He would've switched to a capture card almost immediately.

 

[GigaKike]

If he was smart he wouldn't be Phil.

EDIT: @cjöcker beat me to it

 

[LullerDerbyRollin]

If Phil was smart this website would not continue living.

 

[Hypnopedosnake2]

If Phil was smart, he would embrace his lolcow status.

 

[KillDeer]

If Phil was smart... He would have continued to live with his parents and rented an actual studio space/office to record videos at in 2009 when he started to make big money. By renting while living at home he could have kept the costs low.

If Phil was smart... he wouldn't have spent tens of thousands of dollars on garbage "collectibles" from a scam company. He could have spent a few thousand on set decoration for his studio and wrote them off as a legitimate business expense.

If Phil was smart... he could have created an LLC to both protect himself personally from business issues.

 

[Vic Viper T301]

If Phil was smart he would not have blown his life savings to move across the country just to try to get out of paying income taxes.

 

[Kiwifarmsname]

he wouldnt have the fame he does

 

[TheGoutburglar]

+ His office would actually be an office.
+ He would never snort, cough, burp, or clear his throat directly into the microphone, ever.
+ He might still rage-quit, but he wouldn't try to act like that's not what he did.
+ He would either not complain about getting invaded in Dark Souls, or just play offline if he knows it will irritate him.
+ He wouldn't bitch about other streamers.
+ He wouldn't bitch about "online tactics".
+ If he ever played Morrowind, it would be on PC, with mods.
+ Papavera would be someone elses bitch.
+ He wouldn't have a tips goal, let alone ever bitch about hitting or not hitting it.
+ If he ever did need to raise a lot in tips, he would actually earn it.
+ He would be honest about his autism, and serve as an inspiration rather than an embarrassment.

 

[tripmix]

This thread is so pointless.

It's just a bit of fun.

 

[The Last Stand]

If Phil was smart, he'd learn to block.

If Phil was smart, he'd know about crouch jumping.

If Phil was smart, he'd invest wisely with his $3K "gaming PC."