If twitter were to go down for a day - Lolcow death pool 2019?

[Done Goofed]

So if twitter were to go down for some length of time, maybe a few hours, a day, possibly even a week, we would see at least a few more inactive threads.
Which cows do we think is the most twitter addicted? To the point they would lose all will to live?
My picks would be Bex, and Jake Alley if Twitter goes down at 3AM Niantic time so he is not asleep.

 

[break these cuffs]

Luke Lockheart, possibly within hours. It's his only lifeline while he freaks out waiting to get his junk cut off and his face carved up. Twitter is also the place he shills his gofund me so he can pay for the hotel/flight/incidentals for surgery. His parents are giving him the money for the surgeries, but he has to come up with the rest. Luke is off the rails about how he's going to get pogromed any day now in GRUMPF'S AMERIKKKA. Taking away his one outlet and primary shill method would send him into an even more wild spiral. He's straight manic now.

 

[Rand /pol/]

Donald Trump.

 

[The Flawless Gazelles]

 

[Smug Chuckler]

 

[Papa Adolfo's Take'n'Bake]

Everyone regens 1 brain cell.

 

[Exorbital Columnations]

However many jumped through the trapdoor to 'Heaven', it would be too few.

 

[Notan Alte]

All the blue checkmarks will hang themselves by hour five.
Not before downing some delicious soylent:tm: first though.

 

[CamelCursive]

Honestly, I'd be rather amused if Twitter and Facebook shut down for a while. A major reason for the SJW's being so fucking nuts is because they're constantly trying to spew some "hot take" and get validation from the likes and retweets or whatever.

That's the kind of validation that can be addictive (actually producing a similar effect in the brain to 'getting a fix'), especially in people who lack interpersonal relationships with real people (friends, family, lovers, etc.)- and I've yet to see any of the SJW Bluechecks demonstrate anything that looks like healthy social interactions with people. Not only is it obvious that they spend WAY too much time on Twitter; the way they say things comes off like someone who is not only desperate for approval, but also someone who doesn't interact with real people regularly.

In fact, it's the married ones that actually concern me- I often wonder how disconnected they are from their spouse and children. Maybe the husband/wife just ignores them, the children are neglected. Maybe everyone they know is too busy doing things that earn them real validation with real people, and they're just desperate to feel some kind of validation of their own and know that they're socially repulsive in person.

I say that because I've seen similar marriages that have collapsed due to neglecting parental obligations and the spouse's emotional needs- a guy I knew was addicted to WoW, and was an awesome person to play with and was quite respected and did a lot of great things with his guild... but that was where he was seeking his validation, and that cause him to ignore his wife and children until he got a stack of divorce papers plopped down on his keyboard while he was playing. According to the wife, he looked at them and nodded, then set them aside and went back to raiding. As pathetic as it sounds, it was kinda depressing.

 

[SmileyTimeDayCare]

Donald Trump.

dRumpFlpants would just jump to Gab making Twitter irrelevant.

 

[TerribleIdeas™]

Jake Alley, from Niantic, Connecticut. It'll be a murder/suicide, because we all know he'll take Violet Hargrave with him.

 

[JULAY]

If Twitter went down permanently, the world would be a better place.

 

[MistressCaridad]

Becky Gerber would lose her shit, as the OP said. She’d have to resort to Facebook to reeeeeeeee about how the Twitter outage means ABLEIST TRANSPHOBIC TWITTER WANTS DISABLED TRANS FOLX TO DIE REEEEEEEEEEEEE

 

[Deus Ex Macarena]

If Twitter went down for a day, there'd me more people joking about the fact it's down rather than people complaining it's down.

 

[Notgoodwithusernames]

I don’t use twitter so I wouldn’t give a shit

 

[Diabeetus]

Literally any sane person's reaction if Twitter went down for a day.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Jake Alley, for sure. Not only because he lives there, but because he claims the hundreds of death threats he receives every day come through there.

 

[Beluga]

Zinnia Jones would probably implode. Where else could she post her hot takes AND pictures of her prolapsed anus caused by large horse dildos? Think about the children, man!

 

[Angry Shoes]

Clawshimpy wouldn't have an outlet to complain about all the triggering and abuse.

 

[The Littlest Shitlord]

Clawshimpy wouldn't have an outlet to complain about all the triggering and abuse.

He would never have the guts to kill himself, though, plus he gets off on misery. If anyone started feeling suicidal, it would be his brother who would then have to take the brunt of all his whining with Twitter down.