If you met the most insane, easy-to-milk lolcow in real life, what would you do? -

[Snake-Boot]

Would you try to get them to sperg?

I probably would, since they're already so entertaining on the internet.

 

[Ntwadumela]

Try to out-crazy them in the crazy contest like this

 

[GS 281]

Would you try to get them to sperg?

I probably would, since they're already so entertaining on the internet.

I would say "Hi Chris!"

 

[Cuck Norris]

Kill myself because it means I was sharing oxygen with @Coffee Overdose

 

[InLivingTuna]

I'd probably avoid them. I don't like even minorly annoying people bugging me irl, why would I want an actual lolcow in the same area as me?

 

[Arkangel]

I'd take blury pictures of them with my shitty smartphone.

 

[DykesDykesChina]

Well, the cow closest to me is just a ~1 h train ride away. I could travel comfortably to Emskirchen and then take a short hike up Schauerberg hill... until I see a dilapidated farmhouse next to the road. Fascinated, I walk closer. I'm THAT close to meeting one of the crazy people discussed on Kiwifarms...

"Runter von mei'm Land, etzala!" [Get off ma propaty, now!] a fat unkempt dude screams from the house's balcony.

"Meddel, Loide", [Metal, folks] I greet him meekly. "Du bist doch der Drachenlord. Wollen wir nicht zusammen zum Rewe gehen, Kaffee trinken und Breitsamer Honig einkaufen?" [You're the Dragonlord, aren't you? Shall we go to Rewe (a supermarket) together, have some coffee and shop for Breitsamer honey?]

The fat dude hurls a stick at me. "Kann dich nich hör'n, hab Musik auf'n Ohren!" [Can't hear you, I got music in my ears!] Emphatically, he points at his oversized headphones, from which the tune of some power metal ballad about dragons and sex in medieval times trickles.

"Wollen! Wir! Zusammen! Bei! Rewe! Kaffee! Trinken! Gehen!" [Shall! We! Go! To! Rewe! For! Some! Coffee! Together!] I shout.

"Kaggnazi! Haider! Vollspast! Runter von mei'm Land, etzala! Sonst geb ich dir Brügelrausschmiss!" [Crap Nazi! Hater! Retard! Get off ma propaty now! Or I'll give you some wallopkickout!] The fat man jumps up and down on his balcony, which makes his moobs bounce and thick sweatdrops appear on his forehead.

So, with the fat man still jumping around, screaming and swearing, I pull my hat down into my face, as this is a wanderer's custom when he walks against the wind -- and I go to Rewe by myself and have some coffee, over which I contemplate the strangeness and charm of this world.

 

[on a serious note]

run away because I don't want to get stabbed?

 

[keksz]

Not the most insane cow here and certainly not the most famous but if I met Sorsha irl I'd come up with some nonsense about eating meat being the only "really natural way of life or something". If I know her the very idea would trigger her instantly, not to mention a long debate on the subject

 

[Jaiman]

I'd get a cup of coffee with Chris and ask several questions that I've had for him since I've heard about him.

 

[AA 102]

Nothing, I would observe them. If they're that crazy and easy to milk then they'll troll themselves. No point putting in effort if I don't need to.

 

[fcgh vgcf]

i wouldn't do a fucking thing because they're mentally insane.

like what the fuck do you expect me to do when i see a legit downs kid walk down the street, call him a fucking faggot take his wallet and shout his name across the neighbourhood as you guys do online? lol

 

[keksz]

That'd be okay, for starters...

 

[Brian May]

Run away so I won't get ass raped.

 

[CWCissey]

I'd tell ADF that Chris will always be better than him.

Or just stand in his presence being a cishet white male.

Then beat him up when he bounces and squeaks at me so he really has something to complain about.

 

[AnimuGinger]

I'd do the obvious thing in this situation...

Spoiler

Document everything.

 

[Andy27]

I would walk up to her and start shouting about how she stole the original characters of my gay boyfriend John Walker Flynt to use them in her videogame after she murdered him.

 

[DumbDosh]

There are some lolcows in my area, depending on the type or how crazy they were I would either take a blurry bigfoot picture, lie to them and say I was a fan/donator to their patreon and ask for a picture, or just give them a quick glance and be on my way.

 

[The Lawgiver]

I'd tell them to look at the man in the mirror and tell them to beat it because I won't stop till I get enough.

 

[Kartoffel]

Spoiler: A true story

Once at a outdoor party I wanted to take a bathroom break and got into the house. Because my clue to the right flat was that the keys were supposed to be in the keyhole, I took the neigbours door, because there were keys in there, too and I saw them first. I opened the door and saw myself confronted with a moldy looking hellhole - completely unlike what I was anticipating. A creepy woman stared at me and told me I was wrong there. I apologized immediately and left as fast as possible. Some time later I talked with my mother about this baffling experience. (The right flat was really nice, exspecially the bathroom.)

So according to experience if I would be in case of a seriously emberassing situation:
1. Try to get out as fast as possible or if not possible try to stay stoic and pretend as if there was nothing out of odinary
2. Severly feel fremdschämen
3. Tell afterwards someone about it
The case that I recognize a lolcow in a non-emberassing situation won't ever probably happen, because the chance of meeting one are abysmally small.