If you were in a poly relationship, how would you handle it? - Hypothetically speaking - or not, if you are actually are poly

Nekromantik

I was phone!
kiwifarms.net
Shit post answer: I would love to have a harem of sexy men that would pamper me everyday all day, and walk around in sexy outfits.

Real answer: No, I couldn't do it.

A lot of poly people say that they're in a poly relationship because they fell that something is lacking in their mono relationship, be it physical or emotional. How ever, something I have see reading a lot of stories from poly people about their relationships is that despite that fact that they preach communication is important, it's something that they don't practice at all.

Communication isn't just about informing your partner about who you're going to bang or date that night, it's about really talking about how your lives are going to be together. Relationships are a partnership, like a business. If you live together, it's about fiances, chores, and raising a family (if you have one.) It's working together to make sure that your life runs as smoothly as it can. This is way past the new relationship phase that so many poly people seem to be addicted to. You know each others strengths and weaknesses and are willing to help each other. This is being comfortable and vulnerable with each other. Not the I'm so comfortable I can fart in front of my partner type thing, more the It's 3 in the morning and I'm here in the ER asleep while my partner is in surgery getting their appendix taken out because it exploded, and I'm staying here till they come home because I know they need someone here and I want to make sure they're ok, and I know they would do the same for me.

Your partner should be your very best friend, (that you bang) getting to that point is a lot of work and takes a lot of trust, and I don't think I could ever do it again. Poly doesn't seem as emotionally as filling to me.
 

RisingPheonix

I came here to squark at you
kiwifarms.net
I wouldn't be able to do it, it's difficult enough to keep a single woman satisfied and happy.
I'd be more capable of handling the traditional wife-mistress combo, not that I want a similar situation.
It just seems the more manageable, if selfish.

If you were in a poly relationship, how would you handle it?
What kind of arrangement would you prefer?
Probably the better question would be "how would you react if your partner asked to make the relationship open?" - because you don't just wake up one day in a Poly relationship (or if you do, that's enough sign to GTFO)

If that were the case then depending on length of time with partner, would see what brought it on, probably would be terribly upset, but I'm not going to go poly to stick with someone who obviously has a new beau, but just wants to stay sweet with the previous partner because the scenario will eventually swing one of two ways.

1) Partner 1 eventually twigs that by "open" they mean "you look after me and I fuck the other one". If not then emotional breakdown by Partner 1 eventually happens as they willfully put up with being put 2nd for the exciting new partner always.

2) Partner gets bored of partner 2 or partner 2 peaces out at some point, leaving you having to console the person who cheated on you to begin with - but the cycle can begin again at any time because your now in an open relationship and unlikely to fix that outside having enough self-respect to leave.

But answering the original question: if I had to choose, then maybe a situation where we both had each other and someone else. That in of itself isn't exactly easy to organise, let alone making sure nobody's spreading STD's ect.

But in a magical world where people can actually manage several intimate relationships proper. I'd make sure both partners got as much equal time as possible. Realistically this won't ever happen, someone would become favoured and someone else would become neglected and hurt.

In short: no.
 

Heinrich Himmler

Reichsführer-ᛋᛋ und Chef der Kiwi Polizei
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Shit post answer: I would love to have a harem of sexy men that would pamper me everyday all day, and walk around in sexy outfits.

Real answer: No, I couldn't do it.

A lot of poly people say that they're in a poly relationship because they fell that something is lacking in their mono relationship, be it physical or emotional. How ever, something I have see reading a lot of stories from poly people about their relationships is that despite that fact that they preach communication is important, it's something that they don't practice at all.

Communication isn't just about informing your partner about who you're going to bang or date that night, it's about really talking about how your lives are going to be together. Relationships are a partnership, like a business. If you live together, it's about fiances, chores, and raising a family (if you have one.) It's working together to make sure that your life runs as smoothly as it can. This is way past the new relationship phase that so many poly people seem to be addicted to. You know each others strengths and weaknesses and are willing to help each other. This is being comfortable and vulnerable with each other. Not the I'm so comfortable I can fart in front of my partner type thing, more the It's 3 in the morning and I'm here in the ER asleep while my partner is in surgery getting their appendix taken out because it exploded, and I'm staying here till they come home because I know they need someone here and I want to make sure they're ok, and I know they would do the same for me.

Your partner should be your very best friend, (that you bang) getting to that point is a lot of work and takes a lot of trust, and I don't think I could ever do it again. Poly doesn't seem as emotionally as filling to me.
Best post so far, and I have to say I completely agree with you.

The bottom line of this thread essentially confirms what was my initial opinion: the poly/harem thing is a fantasy a lot of people indulge in, but it's not something we would (as sane people) do for real.

Anyhow, here's me with all my boyfriends
heinrich-himmler-1900-1945-partito-nazista-leader-della-ss-a-parte-centrale-anteriore-del-grup...jpg
 

Sprig of Parsley

kiwifarms.net
A request to open the relationship will result in me opening the door and gesturing for them to leave. It's occurred to me that I'm going to have to start laying out IN ADVANCE on any dating profile or during any kind of prelude to going steady that requesting open relationships/polyshit once will get you a firm no and pressing harder after that is grounds for immediate dismissal, which depresses me.
 

*extremely mom voice*

captagon sweeties
kiwifarms.net
I've heard most the typical poly reasons both from personal stories I've been told from people who got told to try a poly relationship and from reading the r/poly on the farms, and none of them make sense. I always hear this concept of an "emotional" and "physical" partners, and I don't understand why one person can't be both. Even if you need some extra emotional support, you have close friends and confidants for that you don't need to be open to fuck those people for emotional support. If your partner is that useless as an emotional support, then your partner probably sucks anyway. Poly relationships are useless garbage and I hate seeing people try to propose it as some new found way to grow their current relationship.
I've been hanging out on the r/polyamory thread long enough to know that saying you have a "physical" partner and an "emotional" partner means there's a fun, low-maintenance side piece who you bang every other weekend, and then there's an older, less fiery relationship that pays the bills or cleans the house and generally looks after the boring aspects of life. Despite the open infidelity and lack of sex or passion in the relationship, the "emotional" partner is always waiting at home to stroke your ego and enable your poor life choices. This partner is uninterested in polyamory, despite real efforts to brainwash themselves into it, and is genuinely confused about why they're having meltdowns and crying spells "for no reason" three times a week.

There's also the classic Rat King Polycule, which consists mainly of "lesbian" MtFs who nuked their support system while transitioning. In these rich waters, new and exciting forms of narcissistic abuse are evolving every day.

If I had to be polyamorous? Easy. I'd have two gay boyfriends who live with each other but not me. That way they can play with each other so they don't get bored, but I don't have to deal with them all the time. I'd only want a harem of slavegirls chained to my dais if I could hire a eunuch to handle them, like the ancient Babylonian kings did. Otherwise it's too much trouble.
 

MaoBigDong

Pamela Swain Gave Me Ass Cancer
kiwifarms.net
I’m already cheating on my wife, might as well go balls deep and rub it in her face /s

Seriously: No wtf that’s gay bro
 
  • Like
Reactions: Marco Fucko
Tags
None

About Us

The Kiwi Farms is about eccentric individuals and communities on the Internet. We call them lolcows because they can be milked for amusement or laughs. Our community is bizarrely diverse and spectators are encouraged to join the discussion.

We do not place intrusive ads, host malware, sell data, or run crypto miners with your browser. If you experience these things, you have a virus. If your malware system says otherwise, it is faulty.

Supporting the Forum

How to Help

The Kiwi Farms is constantly attacked by insane people and very expensive to run. It would not be here without community support.

We are on the Brave BAT program. Consider using Brave as your Browser. It's like Chrome but doesn't tell Google what you masturbate to.

BTC: 1EiZnCKCb6Dc4biuto2gJyivwgPRM2YMEQ
BTC+SW: bc1qwv5fzv9u6arksw6ytf79gfvce078vprtc0m55s
ETH: 0xc1071c60ae27c8cc3c834e11289205f8f9c78ca5
LTC: LcDkAj4XxtoPWP5ucw75JadMcDfurwupet
BAT: 0xc1071c60Ae27C8CC3c834E11289205f8F9C78CA5
XMR: 438fUMciiahbYemDyww6afT1atgqK3tSTX25SEmYknpmenTR6wvXDMeco1ThX2E8gBQgm9eKd1KAtEQvKzNMFrmjJJpiino