If you were in a poly relationship, how would you handle it? - Hypothetically speaking - or not, if you are actually are poly

Sīn the Moon Daddy

🌛
kiwifarms.net
I'm mostly opposed to polyamory tbh
Having any sort of sexual encounter with another male is simply off the table and one woman is more than enough trouble.
But hey, if you want to fuck up your life feel free to be poly
 

Watcher

Cishet dudebro
kiwifarms.net
I’ve been in a poly relationship. The way I viewed it was akin to a friends with benefits situation. Like you have a friend you do stuff with and have sex with on the side. In this case I mostly just went to her house, we watched Star Trek and had sex and I’d leave. And there was very little actual “relationship” occurring. It helped I went into the relationship aware it was poly from the start, it didn’t start off like a traditional monogamous relationship. Which really helped since I didn’t really have any expectations or any emotional attachment.

It was very stress/jealousy free but it wasn’t emotionally fulfilling and when the relationship ended I was slightly relieved. I don’t think i’d do it again. It was a very pragmatic relationship and I’d compare it to one you’d have with a barber or a lawyer. You are friendly with each other like old friends but there is a service provided, and you’re replaceable.

I’ve also talked to women since who’ve admitted to being in poly relationships when I attempt to date them, and most of the time there are patterns to it. Usually it’s resulting from fear of heartbreak. IE: I am afraid of rejection so I want to have multiple guys around just in-case. Other times it’s fear of commitment. A lot of it is very fear based and built around being afraid of not having control over a situation. They also usually have a history of being in long term relationships where the guy leaves them. Most of the time the woman is divorced. I don’t think I’ve ever spoken to a woman who was in a poly relationship who didn’t have some trust issues.
 
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Some Manajerk

kiwifarms.net
Haha, having multiple women interested in me, a good joke that.

But what about the other side of the coin. You're not part of the original pair, instead you're the person they bring in when they decide "hey, lets be poly" I honestly don't see how you'd do it, unless you want to play out your cucking fetish without the risk of an angry husband beating your ass.
Just think, you'd somewhere have that thought that likely neither of your new partners really care about you and they just brought you into a relationship as a living sex toy in a desperate attempt to rekindle some spark they've lost before the whole thing goes down in flames.
 
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Clop

kiwifarms.net
During my leftist phase, I did do polyamory and did have two sexual partners. I would not recommend it to anyone.

There was a lot of jealousy involved over time because people can only keep themselves deluded so long. First it tripped on A no longer liking B (so no more threesomes), then it tripped on A wanting me all to themselves, and then I started getting jealous of B when they started fucking a long-time friend of mine (and he refused to speak to me afterwards so that was ten years of a friend down the toilet over a woman). I know it's PL but you asked and I can't resist a good anecdote.

I could not handle it, it was a terrible fucking mistake. Every time I see polyamory talked up as the new standard and men and women insisting that they want more non-monogamous relationships, I visibly cringe. I cringe because I've seen what it does to people and how fucking not worth it it is. Don't do it. Just don't. Have some standards.

Not against threesomes, mind you - but don't try to have a relationship with them.
 

nonvir_1984

Well, that's all, folks
kiwifarms.net
Make sure my shed was sound proofed and had a heavy steel door; and for the rest of the time, viagara.
 

The Shadow

Talk to the Hand
kiwifarms.net
This is a question I should have put in the OP but I'll ask it now:

Giving full reign to your ego and cult of personality, would you like to have an harem of girls/guys /both?
For the sake of getting to use a JonTron forum weapon:

And The Shadow's Opium Warlord past self in the Alec Baldwin movie probably had a harem. I mean, you're a warlord in the Himalayas, what else you gonna do with your time?
 

Voltaire

Frankenstein Gangster Communist Computer God
kiwifarms.net
By having bi-sexual women to be poly with to take the sting out of a dsyfunctional relationship with increasingly degenerate threesomes. No other options are allowed it would be this or nothing. I'd burn though that relationship faster then a bat outta hell with nothing but good memories left.
 

Amber the Hedgehog

kiwifarms.net
I find myself in poly situation, I would start looking for a new house, new spouse and reasonable priced assassin, of course.

Seriously though, only form of poly I might be okey with is closed triad sort of deal. Time and attention are limited resources but depending on what jobs, hobbies and other obligations there are I can see three or fore adults be able to create staple and happy relationship. That’s still small enough number of people that everyone can realistically know each other intimately and take everybody’s input when making plans. I do know some married people who also have very important long time friendships. These people do take each other account when planning for the future, see each other very often, look after each other, help out financially, are there for health issues and even have big arguments once in while. If my polyrelationship would be something like that but with sex and living together, then I might be able to deal with it and be happy. If there is respect, frank communication and everyone is very family centric and emotionally staple type, a small group poly relationship could work out. I think it’s unlikely and lot of work but doable under right circumstances. Still definitely not for everyone and I doubt I’m one those people. It’s hard enough to maintain relationship, balance finances, share shores and not to have conflicting long term goals with just two people.
 
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Sprig of Parsley

Damnation dignified
kiwifarms.net
I’ve also talked to women since who’ve admitted to being in poly relationships when I attempt to date them, and most of the time there are patterns to it. Usually it’s resulting from fear of heartbreak. IE: I am afraid of rejection so I want to have multiple guys around just in-case. Other times it’s fear of commitment. A lot of it is very fear based and built around being afraid of not having control over a situation. They also usually have a history of being in long term relationships where the guy leaves them. Most of the time the woman is divorced. I don’t think I’ve ever spoken to a woman who was in a poly relationship who didn’t have some trust issues.
Polyamory strikes me as a damn weird way to handle trust issues.
 

Watcher

Cishet dudebro
kiwifarms.net
Polyamory strikes me as a damn weird way to handle trust issues.
it makes perfect sense from the woman's perspective because she has all the power in the relationship, the guys are just hangers on. If that makes sense. She can't realistically be rejected in a poly relationship unless all parties mutually agree to reject her at once. Which would never happen, all that would occur is it would switch to a pseudo monogamous relationship which is what she ultimately wants. It's a perfect example of having your cake and eating it too.
 

Sprig of Parsley

Damnation dignified
kiwifarms.net
it makes perfect sense from the woman's perspective because she has all the power in the relationship, the guys are just hangers on. If that makes sense. She can't realistically be rejected in a poly relationship unless all parties mutually agree to reject her at once. Which would never happen, all that would occur is it would switch to a pseudo monogamous relationship which is what she ultimately wants. It's a perfect example of having your cake and eating it too.
I'm not sure whether this causes me distress or makes me feel smugly vindicated. Neither is particularly attractive, frankly.
 

Old Wizard

is donning the attire of the archmage
kiwifarms.net
I think polyamory is fucking degenerate (buh dum tss) but I think there are more and less effective ways to maintain a harem.

I guess if you were to travel a lot, you could have an insignificant other at each place you frequent. If anyone came into contact with one another there would be a giant fucking cat fight. I'm under the impression that rich business men or sugar daddies do this. Since there's no emotional involvement and you're not close enough all the time to annoy one another, I can imagine this would last the longest.

A (do they call it a polycule?) polygamist horde probably won't work with anyone who is entirely sane (wouldn't want a degenerate relationship) or entirely mentally ill (difficult to deal with, exhausting) which is why a latter-leaning middle ground is useful- Mormons, religious nuts, or cults- and luckily there is a lot of overlap in these three groups. This only works if you are white trash or living in the 3rd world.

This stuff is genuinely upsetting. It's either a) tons of dysfunctional women fighting while some hick who's 90% lard, 10% disgusting facial hair ignores why they're upset because he gets to smash puss from four different Beth Smith Chapmans. Or it's women being abused in 3rd world countries. Or women who have been repressed so much by their culture, religion, or internal self-loathing (see: that woman from Sister Wives who came out as lesbian after she was raised and surrounded by Fundamentalist Mormons here entire life) that they force themselves to be in a relationship devoid of genuine connection.
 
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Shway

kiwifarms.net
I wouldn’t be in a poly relationship, no matter how much you paid me. I’m not desperate enough to want a partner who wants more than just me. It simply comes off as selfish, and downright greedy. Not only that, but did you know that polygamy increases your chances of heart disease by more than four-fold? It’s not exactly caused by it, but it is correlated.

Now, if I were roped into a polyamory, I’d ditch the person immediately. Fuck that noise.
 
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