I'M DOWN 89 POUNDS!!!!! - spoiler alert: she gains it back, 08/09/2020

  • Sorry about the recent downtime. The database server is being autistic. The beatings will continue.


Save the afrikaaners
"Tomorrow i'm hoping to reach 90"
is she fucking retarded? your weight shifts by 3-4 lbs (probably like 10 for her lol) daily because of how you eat and shit., so your weight is dependent on when you weigh yourself. also why the fuck is one pound a good goal? bitch should be trying to loose 5 pounds a day.

Regardless at least she's trying to eat less, but she's probably lying about eating "400 calories below" her maximum. she's doing the bare minimum. a lazy cow such as herself would jump at the opportunity to eat more.


I know it's been said before, but I've never known a 'writer' with such a poor grasp of the English language. A static, pitcher, suckalent, games council ? Try reading the books you like to show us, Boo Boo.
As for charging her Apple watch... why not charge it the day before? I know they don't take that long to charge, so charge it up, then use it later that day. She could alternate between that and her Fitbit. Hell, she will only do a few steps anyways; so just count them in her head - it might even stop her thinking about food and Density.
As for Benny's glasses; doesn't she have a spare pair? As she needs them to drive, she could do with them. Maybe buy an extra pair instead of all the crap they keep buying?

She admits to 3700 calories in. It's probably more, because she always underestimates. The only thing she did was slowly waddle around the apartment a bit. The cuntiness is too much. How many times did she say the damn word NOOM?
She was telling LAHS. Did you notice her constantly rubbing her face when she was telling us? Classic lying body language.

Amber’s period hole

Point blank period hole.
Wow, Noom day three? This means that Noom officially outlasted Octavia, the weight loss doctor plan and Operation Curvy Calories! I give her two more days before she gives up.

Edit: I‘m retarded and commented before finishing the video, 3700 calories on day three means she already gave up. My expectations were incredibly low, and yet Amber managed to lower the bar yet again. Amazing.


I'm a jerk feline
True & Honest Fan
Noom's "teaching" FatAl? I thought Al already knew everything there was to know about diet and nutrition? That's what she's always said, anyway. Hell, she was so knowledgeable she could teach courses and didn't need any advice in her comments. Noom must have the arcane secret knowledge of the ancients that's been kept from Al her whole life. WOW.
Also, love the way the Thumb has absolutely no problem spending Al's money on total crap. You get yours Thumby!


True & Honest Fan
Ok, what the fuck is going on with Becky? She's been in videos more in the last 2 weeks then she has been in the last year, or more. On top of that, she's so... chipper. Very talkative and acts as if she never avoided Amber's videos like the plague, refusing to take part in the them basically.

What also makes it bizarre is that her mom just died. People handle grief in different ways, blah, blah. But not Becky, look how badly her nephew's death affected her. Maybe her and Norma weren't as close as people thought. I don't know.

It's jarring to see Becky so engaged and upbeat, like she just all of a sudden turned over a new leaf or some shit? I'm genuinely confused. It doesn't seem like she's on any drugs either: she's pretty coherent and speaks clearly.

Along the lines of what @ADHD said, Amber probably told Becky to start acting like she cares. The flowers and pitcher frame, ok... sounds like something Amber would tell her to do. I see Becky stepped up from carnations and baby's breath to a dozen roses. Hmm... I wonder who thought of that. Every time Becky buys something for Amber, I can't help but think right away how Becky's buying Amber gifts, with Ambers money! lol

How long until Amber blows throws Noom under the bus so she can quit? hint: not very long


October 2019. She's only lost 34 lbs in the last 7 months :) (january) she lost the main bulk nov-jan when Becky was zombified.

Also i love the part of the vid where she says they have all the "game counsels" in the guest bedroom.

Edit: I fucking hate how she has to ask Becky the name of everything. I dont think they have ever watched somthing and she doesnt ask Becky what the name of it was like bitch pay attention. Also she has already ate close to 4000 calories so remind us how this is working? Then she laughs about it.
i think Amber goes through life like a toddler, just seeing pretty moving colors and loud noises but not actually comprehending any of it. How humanoids like this exist and move through life in any kind of capacity I dont know but here we are.

DefCon Dumb

Confronter of Cryptoid Cuntiness
True & Honest Fan
She opens with a classic example of her vague posting: "Ate 400 calories under the highest amount I'm allowed to eat." What's wrong with saying: "My daily total is supposed to be 2,400 & today, I ate 2,800."

Target steps are 2,000 but "muh recovery"... she's 1 MONTH+ past her surgery; 2,000 steps, even at her size & post-op; should not be a problem.

Anybody else notice her favorite 'pichers' always have her front & center with everyone else in the background? If I want to go all bullshit psychology here - Becky picking & framing that shot for her says: "I'm okay with always playing second banana in this relationship." It's not a couple photo, it's an Amber photo with Becky providing the backdrop.

Third day, she's already dropped a pound or 2 so she rewards herself with... food. It will be interesting to see what Noom has to tell her about self-sabotage; if they ever approach that. Even so, the 400 extra calories yesterday & eating 3,700 today, (whenever yesterday & today is in Amberland), should NOT result in a weight gain; perhaps a pound or two of water weight but anything more than that & she's eating way more than she states.

Gratuitous succ-a-lint from a self-styled "Houseplant Whore" - put it on her sunniest/brightest windowsill & give it a bit of water once a month.

If she stays with Noom, (doubtful) & follows what they tell her 90% of the time, she can & should lose weight. I'd see it as a first step, a "baby step" towards the genuine counselling she truly needs.

She won't.


3700 Amber calories = 5000 real world calories. 3500-5000k for weight maintenance is ok if you're a professional UFC fighter training regularly. Therefore, it must be fine for our professional KFC eater taking a whopping 2,000 steps per day.

I hope one day her wise Amberisms are preserved so future linguists can be in awe of the magnitude of her intelligence. A true Shakespeare that will shape the future of the English language.

Lesbian Sleepover

Party Announcement
True & Honest Fan
So what glasses was Becky wearing in this video when she showed the picture frame? I don't mean to have all Asperger's or anything about this, but just seeing the glasses lens side down scraping against the goddamn countertops... That's like, I don't know that's ultra aggravating. I have prescription sunglasses and one time while driving a screw had been coming loose and the left lens popped out and I thought I was boned. Fortunately I had everything I needed to fix it and I pulled over and did it right there. Whatever not important it's not about me.

Anyway, the glasses, look at that thin hair; Amber's hair looks so different from when she was at the Muppets surprise birthday party... Her hair is really like hay straw. In fact, the video from yesterday which I did not comment on because everyone else said everything that could be said, every photo they showed of her as a flashback photo her hair and her face looks so different. She's definitely starting to look kind of I don't know almost masculine to me now. You got to remember these idiots are like 5'2 and 5'3 it's just so weird.

Nicotine Fetish

True & Honest Fan
Idk I kind of like Becky in a way.
Jesus fuck everything about her is like a fat 15 year old boy. And amber is like her mom.
his friends are coming over, he’s playing need for speed, he picked out some cool things for her at the store, she got him a cute shirt.
Aside from the weight loss rambling it’s sort of like a family vlog. A single mom and her fat 15 year old son. Who just moved into a new house. Lmao


have you taken your b12?
i need to finish watching Amber's videos before i post, but she always blows my mind
Nobody needs noom to keep track of calories or read articles about dieting
she also doesnt need Luna bars or pudding. Gorl needs to stop eating so much processed foods!!
At the end of the day, Amberlynn needs actual professionals to help her
especially since she has an eating disorder and had cancer
but somehow bish thinks she knows better