Important: If you are coming here from Tumblr, read this thread. -

Meowthkip

Danny Devito holding a painting of a Sonichu OC
Global Moderator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I hope that got your attention.

Due to an influx of new Kiwis coming in from Tumblr, coming in and weening up the joint, I felt it necessary to speak just to you guys. I've been using Tumblr for quite a while (more than four years), which means I know Tumblr culture pretty well. I say this because I am one of you, except I'm cooler 'cause I got a Moderator tag under my name.

So, starting off, welcome to the Kiwi Farms! This forum was originally centered on the antics of Christian Weston Chandler, as it was an extension of the CWCki. You probably know who Chris-chan is, though, if you have any interest in this forum. When posting, read the text at the top of subforum pages to get a general idea what is and isn't allowed. You can't miss it.

Of course, there's some things that aren't covered in the text blocks. Maybe you don't feel like lurking moar (PRO-TIP: You should probably lurk moar anyway). Well, good news, because Mama Meowthkip is going to hold your hand and lay down the pro-tips.

  • The Kiwi Farms is not a trolling board. They're here for observation and discussion. We've had many a lolcow come to the board, with varying results. And while it may be funny to watch a lolcow chimp out over criticism, it is highly discouraged to link a lolcow directly to their thread. Often cows will DELETE EVERYTHING in response to being found, especially if they happen to use Tumblr, thus denying us content. Don't be that guy.
  • THIS IS NOT A CALLOUT BOARD. We don't care if you're accusing somebody of being transphobic or ableist or whatever. What we do care about is somebody being bizarre, hypocritical, or egotistical to the point of absurdity. Are they fucking weird? Like, really weird and super defensive and haughty about it? Then go for it.
  • HIDE YOUR POWERLEVEL. Admittedly I've been guilty of this myself (whoops), but in general, disclosing intimate details about your personal life (or even any details of your personal life) is considered to be kind of dumb. While it might be tempting to compare a cow's struggles to your darker, more traumatizing struggles, it's not worth it. Most of the time the cow will flat out ignore you, and you just bore your soul on a public forum full of people who don't really care all that much. Feel free to post that shit on the Deep Thoughts forum in Off Topic. Remember, this board is visible to the public and Kiwis aren't the only ones who read it. Reveal your powerlevel at your own risk.
  • Hiding your power level means WE DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT MENTAL DISORDERS YOU HAVE. This is not a contest so you can carry the flag for True and Honest mentally ill people. Seriously. When this starts up, it derails the entire thread into talking about their brain problems. A lot of us here have brain problems. This should not be a surprise. But these stories are a dime a dozen and not as interesting as the cows themselves.
  • Don't ween. "Weening," short for "EPEEC WEEN" ("Epic win"), is fail-trolling, usually involving harassing a lolcow or telling them about their thread. There's a reason that weening is associated with summerfag 4chan kiddies. :epik:
  • Nobody cares about identity politics shit. Don't bother correcting somebody on using "-fag" as a suffix. Nobody cares if you're an otherkin here to defend otherkin or hell, a furry defending furries. Just look at mapdark's thread. We have furries here. We crack jokes at the expense of all kind of internet weirdos. If you're the type of person who thinks the word "stupid" is a slur, you're not going to fit in very well.
  • On that note, don't humor any cows by using "it" just because it's their preferred pronoun. It's fucking stupid and dehumanizing, and anybody who wants it to be used sincerely in regards to them is probably an edgelord genderspecial. If you wish to use a gender neutral pronoun, "they" is perfectly acceptable. People are also going to use "it" to antagonize cows. It is not worth it to start picking fights, trust me.
  • We also do not care if you are genderfluid/genderqueer/non-binary/tacogender whatever. Nobody cares. If you feel the same way in ten years, great, but most people around here are just going to think you're just trying to be special or you're going through a phase. And you probably are. Bully for you. We don't care.
  • If you have proof, post it. You want to start a thread on somebody? Well, you'd better have links and screencaps demonstrating their crazy. Not only does this generate interest, but it also it shows that you're not just pulling all of this out of your ass. archive.md and Gyazo are your friends.
  • Don't bother spewing out RAGE and ALL CAPS over the cows. It's important to approach the subjects as curiosities and weirdos. They're strangers and they're not worth getting mad over. If you express your desire to kill a cow, or feel the need to announce how much better you are than them, that's A-Logging. :alog:
  • This isn't a board for making fun of the autistic. Many users are themselves on the spectrum. However, since this is still a Chris-chan board, the word gets thrown around a lot in jest. Don't bother getting offended. Just roll with it.
  • Typing giant stream of consciousness paragraphs with no punctuation like you would on Tumblr doesn't come off very well here. Don't be afraid to use periods.
  • Posts consisting only of reaction images, especially ones from popular Tumblr fandoms, is shitposting. Writing stuff that reads like a shitpost is also right out. Leave the shitposts for Tumblr.
  • If it's NSFW, put it under a spoiler.
  • There is a multiquote button, the one next to the quote button. Don't be afraid to use it to avoid double and triple posting.
  • You can type "@" before a username and click on the pop-up window that comes up to notify a user. It's pretty neat.
  • Don't be a dick to your fellow users. Screaming at somebody about checking their privilege, outside of Tumblr, is considered to be extremely rude. If you can't learn to disagree with users in a civil manner, then you're better off just saying nothing.
  • God help you if you have your OTP in your avatar. I haven't seen anybody use one yet, but if I see somebody with some kind of Superwholock bullshit on their avatar, I'm deleting your posts on principle.
  • This board is steeped in *chan culture, considering that Chris-watching started on 4chan and ED. Just keep that in mind.
A lot of this shit should be a no-brainer. I wrote up this list because we have had a growing problem with weens on the board, as well as users that are still very much "Tumblr-esque," we'll call it. Even if you happen to be a 16 year old girl, so long as you don't act like one, you should be okay.

Have fun on the Farms, and godspeed.
 
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John Furrman

that's chaos
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Maybe an explanation of Tumblr-esque is in order:
  • Don't use a bunch of reaction images, and only them in your posts, that is shitposting. Use your words.
  • If you think people on tumblr would like your post, that is also probably shit posting. This is not tumblr.
  • If you are formatting your posts like tumblr posts, that will likely be shit posting too. Tumblr has terrible formatting.
  • Remember: Quality over quantity.
 
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2Spoopy

kiwifarms.net
I know this falls under the identity politics bullshit, but I just felt the need for a little extra clarification. I see this shit all the time on every Tumblr thread.

I don't know about you guys, but I personally despise when Tumblrinas come on here and use lolcows' preferred nonsense pronouns like "its" and whatever other dehumanizing garbage is so pevalent over there.

This isn't Tumblr. If you absolutely have to use a gender neutral pronoun, use the grammatically correct "they." But 9/10 the cows we cover are just transtrenders, and there's no need for a gender neutral pronoun. You're only giving the cows what they want.

"It" is for objects, animals and non humans, and, personally, you look like a moron when you use those ~special~ pronouns.
Then again, it also makes it easy to identify the potential new cows on the farm.
 

Adamska

Last Gunman
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Don't forget that if you're going to make an article on a potential cow, that you actually back up why this person merits the attention of this here webzone. This isn't a call-out forums where people crawl in to bitch about a person they don't like because of things like "being transphobic" or "ableist". Have demonstrable evidence that proves just how exceptional they are; extraordinary claims need extraordinary evidence after all. Demonstrate their lunacy with examples, and make sure that they actually are capable of being "milked". That means that they should be capable of producing laughter via insanity.
 

Meowthkip

Danny Devito holding a painting of a Sonichu OC
Global Moderator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Maybe an explanation of Tumblr-esque is in order:
  • Don't use a bunch of reaction images, and only them in your posts, that is shitposting. Use your words.
  • If you think people on tumblr would like your post, that is also probably shit posting. This is not tumblr.
  • If you are formatting your posts like tumblr posts, that will likely be shit posting too. Tumblr has terrible formatting.
  • Remember: Quality over quantity.
I know this falls under the identity politics bullshit, but I just felt the need for a little extra clarification. I see this shit all the time on every Tumblr thread.

I don't know about you guys, but I personally despise when Tumblrinas come on here and use lolcows' preferred nonsense pronouns like "its" and whatever other dehumanizing garbage is so pevalent over there.

This isn't Tumblr. If you absolutely have to use a gender neutral pronoun, use the grammatically correct "they." But 9/10 the cows we cover are just transtrenders, and there's no need for a gender neutral pronoun. You're only giving the cows what they want.

"It" is for objects, animals and non humans, and, personally, you look like a moron when you use those ~special~ pronouns.
Then again, it also makes it easy to identify the potential new cows on the farm.
Don't forget that if you're going to make an article on a potential cow, that you actually back up why this person merits the attention of this here webzone. This isn't a call-out forums where people crawl in to bitch about a person they don't like because of things like "being transphobic" or "ableist". Have demonstrable evidence that proves just how exceptional they are; extraordinary claims need extraordinary evidence after all. Demonstrate their lunacy with examples, and make sure that they actually are capable of being "milked". That means that they should be capable of producing laughter via insanity.
I'm gonna add all these points, if that's okay with you guys.
 
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