Impostor Posing as Chris Reports Cole Smithey as "Abusive Child" on RipoffReport.com -

[BriarHeart]

Kind of old, since the post is from January 26th, but I did a forum search and didn't see any existing threads on it, so for posterity's sake:

RipoffReport.com is a website that allows people to submit reports of people, places and things that they dislike or consider negative. It's basically Yelp, but with nothing but negative, barely-coherent reviews and a lot more categories. One of those categories is "Abusive Children," where you can find this report by user "Sonichu" of Ruckersville, VA:

Cole Smithey Back Stabbing Opportunist Bites the Hand that Fed Him New York New York

Cole Smithey has abused his poor mother and brother for years. His mother has many medical problems, both physical and mental. His brother is autistic and has always looked to Cole for guidance and all Cole can do is go on vacation or go to the movies. His brother, Christian and mother Barbara Chandler recently got burned out of their house and Cole will not help them...with anything. He is a miserable excuse for a human being. He doesn't care if his family receives decent medical care or even has a roof over their heads.

Everyone should know how he repays the kindness of his mother that was instrumental in helping Cole be in a position to run off to France once a year and California on vacation. Cole ran off to the big city, found money to marry and tells his family to get lost in their time of need. I wish there was a way for Barbara and her now dead husband to take back everything they ever gave him...he has proven he doesn't deserve a free meal in a soup kitchen. Search it, he is always bragging about spending his days drinking and watching movies, and telling people off that ask him to at least contact his ailing, elderly and now homeless mother.

Nothing that we didn't already know, but hey, it's a Chris sighting on a lesser-known website. Unfortunately, you can't search by user profile, so I have no idea if this is the only report he's made on the site.

[EDIT] Expert analysis strongly suggests the report to be less than TRUE AND HONEST. This field report will be preserved to prevent future voyages on the

 

[Honeyrabbit]

Look at that sentence syntax; that isn't OPL.

 

[Lalala]

Fake, his ego wouldn't allow him to write anything other that "Christian Weston Chandler" and "Barbara Anne Weston Chandler." Plus the fact there's no CWCisms, no random capitols and it's structures way too well.

 

[GormTheElder]

Look at that sentence syntax; that isn't OPL.

It seems unlikely that Barb would do this either. Perhaps it's a ruse set up by some ween to lure a reaction/drama out of Cole?

 

[The Dude]

Looks like a ruse cruise to me.

 

[blackie toy]

Rated F for fake.

 

[applecat]

Not enough Random Capitalized letters or ALL CAPS FOR EMPHASIS to be Chris.

 

[Honeyrabbit]

Cole Smithey, brother of High Functioning Autistic Creative Mind and Lesbian Transgendered Soul Christian Christopher Ricardo Weston Chandler, Creator of Sonichu and Rosechu His Electric Hedgehog Pokemon and Son of Barbara Anne Weston Chandler, has abused his Poor Mother and AUTISTIC Brother for years. His Mother has many medical problems in the teeth and Other Areas such as the Holey Buttocks, both physically and mentally. His Brother is High Functioning Autistic and with High Stress due to Trolls, and unto this he has always looked to Cole for Guidance. And yet even through all of this, Cole can only care about vacation and Movies!!

 

[Le Bateleur]

Yeah, that isn't Chris writing.

Cole is something of a secondary ween magnet; for instance, that ad he posted for guitar lessons got glowing reviews from Robert Chandler and Julaaay...

 

[BriarHeart]

Fair 'nuff. Sorry, all. Do I take down the thread myself, or does it get locked and preserved for future reference?

 

[applecat]

Fair 'nuff. Sorry, all. Do I take down the thread myself, or does it get locked and preserved for future reference?

You could just edit the title to "Unfunny Ween Tries and Fails to Impersonate Chris" or something.

 

[Pikonic]

Fair 'nuff. Sorry, all. Do I take down the thread myself, or does it get locked and preserved for future reference?

Keep it so others don't put it up again thinking it's real.

 

[GormTheElder]

Fair 'nuff. Sorry, all. Do I take down the thread myself, or does it get locked and preserved for future reference?

Nah, just because it's a ruse, doesn't meant it isn't interesting.
I would know because I tots wrote that review. (but on a serious note, do you guys think that this might have been set up by one of our own?)

 

[BT 075]

I would know because I tots wrote that review. (but on a serious note, do you guys think that this might have been set up by one of our own?)

>inb4 @The Coward did it and starts bragging about it

 

[BriarHeart]

You could just edit the title to "Unfunny Ween Tries and Fails to Impersonate Chris" or something.

I edited the title and post, so it should show up if anyone else sees the ripoff post in the future. Thanks!

 

[Pikonic]

Nah, just because it's a ruse, doesn't meant it isn't interesting.
I would know because I tots wrote that review. (but on a serious note, do you guys think that this might have been set up by one of our own?)

You know, it might be a legit review by a white knight, because it's way too easy to impersonate Chris.

 

[GormTheElder]

>inb4 @The Coward did it and starts bragging about it

Perhaps Cole will grant him that bar-date that he has had up on E-bay for ages now... But you know, stare at him with angry eyes the whole time...

You know, it might be a legit review by a white knight.

Yeah... Seems more likely than it being a ween.
Anna's pretty good with grammar and syntax, isn't she?

 

[Stud2Stud]

I guess it's some random ween trying to stirr up shit or something.

But I must admit a bit of Drama involving Cole would be interesting. Cole's version of random allcaps and cwc-isms is pretentious bullshit and thesaurus-abuse, so I would really love to see him do an angry rant. But then again, he's an aging Hipster douchebag with an inappropriately huge Ego, so I can perfectly deal with him sinking into obscurity, never to be talked about again.

 

[Frank Rizzo]

I was under the impression that Cole basically washed his hands of Chris and Barb a long time ago and that he just ignores attempts by weens to troll him.

 

[Male Idiot]

The ween that did this failed spectacularly to imitate Chris's writing style. Our anonymous faker earned the following award: