In terms of entertainment value, how does Phail currently compare to your other favourite cows? - and how could things perk up a bit other than more goddamned brownies?

rizlajizzla

A collective regime of peace and love.
kiwifarms.net
He sure as hell makes me pine for the days of Commander Striker. His shitty behaviour is kept indoors, unlike Christine Chan and Amber Lynn, so it's more controlled. And he is just never, ever funny like Jace often was. Remember Jace? Goddamn it. Remember Gayle? Back in my day, lolcowing was an artform. Let us never forget. Troll, performance art, who cares, it was entertainment.

Phil has just become a bit samey. Other than the escort, all the lols extend from Phil just being the same old twat. And the escort was just someone noticing him as an easy mark.

I want Phil to really come out with some insane shit, as watching him go from asshole to mega asshole is getting dull. I can see some opportunities from his political ideas but, meh. I am just waiting for him to get a DUI or have a stroke or something. Jesus, I may have to start watching television!

He has an audience. He has three audiences hanging on his bullshit, the fans, the detractors and us. Think of the shit he could pull off if he had any sense of awareness.

I have started to look forward to @BSV's posts more than anything else.

So, how does he compare to his cringeworthy comrades? Who would you rather have to cook dinner for? Who would win in a bitch slap fight? Who would be the bottom in the idiot orgy?
 

rizlajizzla

A collective regime of peace and love.
kiwifarms.net
What the hell? You want the biggest autism magnet in the universe to be more interesting?

DSP is boring as fuck on his own, but the sideshows are absolutely epic.
Fair point, but it's just a slow progression of the same things getting slllightly worse. He was shit to Leanna, and now he's a bit worse to Kat. He was a greedy fuck and now he is a REALLY greedy fuck. He was a liar and now he has forgotten how to even tell the truth.

However, yes, the sideshows are the gold.
 

Wurstbrot

This was my depression
kiwifarms.net
He's kinda a shitshow for kids (in comparison with other lolcows) which delivers daily and with a new session every year, a show which stays the same and starts to jump the shark. This has some kind of harmless entertainment in it if you just watch and don't donate to the pig. He also doesn't embody some topics I would rather like to ignore (because I can't stand this shit anymore), for example feminazis, transtrender, autism x'tra-ordinare, politics.
There are a few other lolcows which I watch up sometimes but their presence is basically dead or not interesting anymore. So when it comes to daily entertainment I prefer the Philianator; I'm kinda addicted to this shitshow. The writers get better every month.
 
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Son of Big Boss

My Cock is Bugged, Look!
kiwifarms.net
That's why i like Phil as a lolcow so much.

He feels more "grounded".
Other lolcows are crazy as fuck.
Trans, Gay, Fetishes, Autism, Mental Ilness.

But Phil? He's just a normal human being who's digging up his own grave.
Phil feels more "relatable" and "realistic" compared to other Lolcows.

It feels like anyone could become Phil, given the chance.
 

rizlajizzla

A collective regime of peace and love.
kiwifarms.net
He's kinda a shitshow for kids (in comparison with other lolcows) which delivers daily and with a new session every year, a show which stays the same and starts to jump the shark. This has some kind of harmless entertaining in it if you just watch and don't donate to the pig. He also doesn't embody some topics I would rather like to ignore (because I can't stand this shit anymore), for example feminazis, transtrender, autism x'tra-ordinare, politics.
There are a few other lolcows which I watch up sometimes but their presence is basically dead or not interesting anymore. So when it comes to daily entertainment I prefer the Philianator; I'm kinda addicted to this shitshow. The writers get better every month.
His world is sort of innocent isn't it? There's no conflict except that between himself and detractors, no real history, politics, science, just him & 'having fun, playing games with us guys and having positive experience' or having 'to sell the house, dude'. The government it a vague thing that you pay and it leaves you alone.

I also take a lot of relief in his not going there with any of those topics for the same reasons from perhaps the other side. I am so far left that I am almost right again, and seeing him try to be woke would make my face explode.
 

Done

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
He's about Dobson tier in terms of his own content. He attracts great crazies, though.
Agreed, but he has this weird tendency to come up with great content (And I mean seriously great) out of complete nowhere, and this year has been the outlier for that, to the point where you can make a GOAT opening post based on this past 4 months alone!
 
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PoopMagnet

kiwifarms.net
Phil is great because he doesn't have mental disabilities to explain his logic or actions. He's a mentally healthy adult that has some absurd as logic, locked away in his "office", and trying to take games way too seriously. The best is the by proxy lolcows, fans, and a-logs bring in the true laughs for this lolcow universe.
 

Near

Perpetrator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I do definitely agree with him attracting the worst, most exceptional sorts of people, by him alone acting as seemingly "the worst". It's amazing how many A-logs he's managed to pull in that can't go a day without wishing ruin on him.

I'm just wondering how in the hell hasn't he attracted the kind of deranged person who would drive all the way over to him and try to beat him up in his own house yet. I mean, you saw how pale his face can get when he hears something as simple as a doorbell.
 

rizlajizzla

A collective regime of peace and love.
kiwifarms.net
I do definitely agree with him attracting the worst, most exceptional sorts of people, by him alone acting as seemingly "the worst". It's amazing how many A-logs he's managed to pull in that can't go a day without wishing ruin on him.

I'm just wondering how in the hell hasn't he attracted the kind of deranged person who would drive all the way over to him and try to beat him up in his own house yet. I mean, you saw how pale his face can get when he hears something as simple as a doorbell.
Very good point. He is awfully visible. And, also, his being visible is awful, fnrrrr.
 

DarkSoulsPhil

kiwifarms.net
The other cows I follow are about on par with quality, but phil, just like his youtube uploads to his channel, delivers in the quantity too. Every day without fail, there is a fucking incident. Nigga I don't want to come back to 10 pages on the main thread every day. Not to mention the fact he is an autism magnet. Shit I've got about 10 threads in the forum I havent read because its a 24/7 experience
 
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AnOminous

Really?
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
The other cows I follow are about on par with quality, but phil, just like his youtube uploads to his channel, delivers in the quantity too. Every day without fail, there is a fucking incident. Nigga I don't want to come back to 10 pages on the main thread every day. Not to mention the fact he is an autism magnet. Shit I've got about 10 threads in the forum I havent read because its a 24/7 experience
DSP's thread is kind of like Greer's and Dobbo's and Chimpman's. If you come back to it after a day and there's 10 pages, nothing at all happened and you can skip them all but if you see 30 goddamn pages or more, something actually happened and then you have to dig through it to find out what.
 

Pubic Enemy #1

Oi m8 wot if ur mam was an email
kiwifarms.net
There's a purity to Phil as a lolcow, and he's unique. That's why I spend most time here on his section, as much as I get a chuckle out of Brianna Wu's shenanigans, or Spoony, or Boogie. I've mentioned before how when you're not watching Phil (like right now as you read this) you probably remember Phil as being pretty bad, with the shit gameplay, begging, abusing his fans, low-rent setup, awful jokes, snorting, "nothing I could do" and the rest of the memes. But if you actually watch Phil's content, or nicely edited chunks like Mrhuthstuff, or Tevin's videos, you'll see that Phil is somehow worse than you remember. I can't think of any other way to explain what that phenomenon is like. He will absolutely be dumber than you remember, he'll surprise you with just how desperate his begging is, he'll be even more obnoxious to his fans than you were expecting. And then the next time you watch him, he'll be worse than you remembered again. It's like there's cognitive dissonance between how bad people think Phil is, and then how much worse Phil actually is when you're watching him live, in the moment.

Brianna Wu is an idiot, and a liar, and obnoxious, and a con artist, much like Phil. However she's always exactly as much of a shithead as I remember. Phil is my #1 lolcow because he's truly unique in how utterly, legitimately retarded he is at all times, in new and surprising ways.
 

BallBuster

kiwifarms.net
All good LOLcows have a button. Press the button, and reap the glorious content they provide.

Some buttons are easier to press though. The first cow I ever followed was a scumbag named MovieWorldExpress (Andre Cedeno). The dude still makes videos on his like 30th YT account but he has since gotten stale. His button was Marvel. Say anything good or nice about Marvel and he would go off. Or if you badmouthed DC or Zack Snyder.

He has provided some amazing content including getting told to leave his sisters house live on podcast, and getting catfished by an “underage European” girl who got some nasty dick picks out of him. There is a great video on that saga (https://vimeo.com/228758867 watch at your own risk)

LTG has the easiest button to push which makes him a great cow. Beat him in a fighting game.

Phil has so many buttons, but hitting him with the truth seems to be the button that works the most. Any kind of truth seems to set him off because he refuses to admit his problems and that he is in trouble. That, and the fact that he somehow manages to spawn the most obscene fans who give us even more content to laugh at, makes Phil my favorite.
 
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