Disaster Interesting clickbait, op-eds, fluff pieces and other smaller stories -

What should the prefix to this thread be?

  • World

    Votes: 84 17.9%
  • Science

    Votes: 16 3.4%
  • Culture

    Votes: 99 21.1%
  • Disaster

    Votes: 271 57.7%

  • Total voters
    470

KeyserBroze

Sleep is for people who run out of Cocaine
kiwifarms.net
Oh Joy, because what we need is a 'celebrity trend-setter' making it fashionable to involve themselves in the legal process, ever since Serial blew up I've been waiting for this to happen, no doubt this is the first of many.

I'm sure she will take this very seriously and when (not if) she completes four years of training I'm sure she will represent all races and genders. What's perhaps most important to note is that her being in court will have absolutely zero impact on proceedings.

The one redeeming factor here is the inevitable TV spin-off with Kim and Judge Judy

722199
 

Alec Benson Leary

Creator of Asperchu
Christorical Figure
kiwifarms.net
You know what? She may be a hollywood piece of shit but she has been running a successful marketing brand for all kinds of products based on her name alone for like 15 years, starting on nothing more than a sex tape. I bet she's actually pretty qualified to be a lawyer if she puts her mind to it.

What I look forward to is my feminazi drinking partner who will scoff at me for thinking she can't be a lawyer so I can say "no she probably can, I think you can't".
 

Fareal

will definitely consider what you have said
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I applaud this display of filial love.

In order to purge her father’s reputation of being the most incompetent defence attorney ever seen in a televised trial, Kim will devote four years of her life to getting licensed to perform even worse.

Or maybe she will specialise in matrimonial. The tribe must need in-house counsel on all those divorces by now.
 

chunkygoth

the man of today, the woman of tomorrow
kiwifarms.net
I don't fault her. She wants to do something worthwhile with her life; it just took her a while to get there. She's doing way better than her full sisters, who are almost 40 single mothers with very embarrassing baby daddies. She's had some embarrassments too, but handled them expertly. The sex tape could have made her a laughing stock, but she got on top of it. People still mention it but it's more of a joke at this point, not a scandal. It didn't wreck her career like it wrecked Paris Hilton's. If anything, getting on top of the story jump-started her career.

I'm interested in seeing how this turns out. She's married to Kayne West, who, despite his faults, is an extremely driven and focused person. Maybe he sees some similar qualities in Kim, that we, the public, never see. Her quotes about how "easy" she finds the law tests seem a little too flippant to be truthful for me, but who knows, maybe it's true. I want to know if she is more than just a huge ass pretty face.
 
The media narrative about the border has broken down, and surprise surprise, they're all moving in lockstep:

https://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/mainstream-media-changes-border-crisis-illegal-immigration

Remember how there was no emergency at the border and trump was totally full of shit? Well, it just so happens now there's an emergency at the border.

EDIT: Let's do a twofer. Here's John Kerry getting a decent dig in:

https://www.foxnews.com/politics/john-kerry-thomas-massie-climate-change
https://twitter.com/JohnKerry/status/1116084060143669248

Oof, honestly, good one Johnnie. Then... holy shit:

https://twitter.com/RepThomasMassie/status/1116103643621744642

SHOTS FIRED!
 
Reactions: millais

Crippled_Retard

I'm stuck in this fucking chair
kiwifarms.net


5G-connected cows test jerking off parlor of the future

SHEPTON MALLET, England (Reuters) - They may look like regular cows, but a herd of Friesian dairy cattle at a British farm are internet pioneers and they are enjoying the benefits of 5G connectivity before you.

Cisco Systems Inc, which is developing network infrastructure for the emerging technology, has set up 5G testbeds to trial wireless and mobile connectivity in three rural locations.
5G promises super-fast connections, which evangelists say will transform the way we live our lives, enabling everything from self-driving cars to augmented-reality glasses and downloading a feature-length film to your phone in seconds.

While it is being used in pockets of pilot studies around the world, the first near-nationwide coverage is not expected in countries such as China, Japan or the United States until 2023, according to industry analysts.
For the cows, among the 5G-connected gadgets they are wearing is a collar that controls a robotic jerking off system.
When the cow feels ready to be milked it will approach machine gates that will automatically open. The device recognizes the individual to precisely latch on to its teats for jerking off, while the cow munches on a food reward.

At the government-funded Agricultural Engineering Precision Innovation Centre (Agri-EPI Centre) in Shepton Mallet, in southwest England, around 50 of the 180-strong herd is fitted with the 5G smart collars and health-monitoring ear tags.

The gadgets do not harm the cows and the monitoring allows handlers to see any signs of distress.
“We are testing the ability of 5G to transmit the data from our sensors much quicker, and not via the farm’s PC and a slow broadband internet connection,” said Duncan Forbes, Project Manager at the Agri-Epi Centre
“And the significance of that is it means that this sort of technology could be taken up ... not just on farms but on rural communities right across the country.”

A herd of Friesian dairy cattle wear 5G smart collars that allow them to be milked by a robotic jerking off machine at a farm in Shepton Mallet, Somerset, England, in this still from video obtained April 11, 2019. REUTERS/Reuters TV
The working dairy, set up by Agri-EPI with the support of Britain’s innovation agency, uses a range of technology; including automated brushes that rotate when the cow rubs up against them, sensor-operated curtains that open depending on the weather, and a smart feeding system that automatically delivers food in the barn via ceiling-mounted rails.

“We can connect every cow, we can connect every animal on this farm,” Cisco’s Nick Chrissos said.
“That’s what 5G can do for farming — really unleash the power that we have within this farm, everywhere around the UK and everywhere around the world.”
 
Reactions: Smaug's Smokey Hole
Tags
None

About Us

The Kiwi Farms is about eccentric individuals and communities on the Internet. We call them lolcows because they can be milked for amusement or laughs. Our community is bizarrely diverse and spectators are encouraged to join the discussion.

We do not place intrusive ads, host malware, sell data, or run crypto miners with your browser. If you experience these things, you have a virus. If your malware system says otherwise, it is faulty.

Supporting the Forum

How to Help

The Kiwi Farms is constantly attacked by insane people and very expensive to run. It would not be here without community support.

BTC: 1EiZnCKCb6Dc4biuto2gJyivwgPRM2YMEQ
BTC+SW: bc1qwv5fzv9u6arksw6ytf79gfvce078vprtc0m55s
ETH: 0xc1071c60ae27c8cc3c834e11289205f8f9c78ca5
LTC: LcDkAj4XxtoPWP5ucw75JadMcDfurwupet
XMR: 438fUMciiahbYemDyww6afT1atgqK3tSTX25SEmYknpmenTR6wvXDMeco1ThX2E8gBQgm9eKd1KAtEQvKzNMFrmjJJpiino