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Sleep is for people who run out of Cocaine
Oh Joy, because what we need is a 'celebrity trend-setter' making it fashionable to involve themselves in the legal process, ever since Serial blew up I've been waiting for this to happen, no doubt this is the first of many.

I'm sure she will take this very seriously and when (not if) she completes four years of training I'm sure she will represent all races and genders. What's perhaps most important to note is that her being in court will have absolutely zero impact on proceedings.

The one redeeming factor here is the inevitable TV spin-off with Kim and Judge Judy


Alec Benson Leary

Creator of Asperchu
Christorical Figure
You know what? She may be a hollywood piece of shit but she has been running a successful marketing brand for all kinds of products based on her name alone for like 15 years, starting on nothing more than a sex tape. I bet she's actually pretty qualified to be a lawyer if she puts her mind to it.

What I look forward to is my feminazi drinking partner who will scoff at me for thinking she can't be a lawyer so I can say "no she probably can, I think you can't".


will definitely consider what you have said
True & Honest Fan
I applaud this display of filial love.

In order to purge her father’s reputation of being the most incompetent defence attorney ever seen in a televised trial, Kim will devote four years of her life to getting licensed to perform even worse.

Or maybe she will specialise in matrimonial. The tribe must need in-house counsel on all those divorces by now.


the man of today, the woman of tomorrow
I don't fault her. She wants to do something worthwhile with her life; it just took her a while to get there. She's doing way better than her full sisters, who are almost 40 single mothers with very embarrassing baby daddies. She's had some embarrassments too, but handled them expertly. The sex tape could have made her a laughing stock, but she got on top of it. People still mention it but it's more of a joke at this point, not a scandal. It didn't wreck her career like it wrecked Paris Hilton's. If anything, getting on top of the story jump-started her career.

I'm interested in seeing how this turns out. She's married to Kayne West, who, despite his faults, is an extremely driven and focused person. Maybe he sees some similar qualities in Kim, that we, the public, never see. Her quotes about how "easy" she finds the law tests seem a little too flippant to be truthful for me, but who knows, maybe it's true. I want to know if she is more than just a huge ass pretty face.
The media narrative about the border has broken down, and surprise surprise, they're all moving in lockstep:


Remember how there was no emergency at the border and trump was totally full of shit? Well, it just so happens now there's an emergency at the border.

EDIT: Let's do a twofer. Here's John Kerry getting a decent dig in:


Oof, honestly, good one Johnnie. Then... holy shit:


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I'm stuck in this fucking chair

5G-connected cows test jerking off parlor of the future

SHEPTON MALLET, England (Reuters) - They may look like regular cows, but a herd of Friesian dairy cattle at a British farm are internet pioneers and they are enjoying the benefits of 5G connectivity before you.

Cisco Systems Inc, which is developing network infrastructure for the emerging technology, has set up 5G testbeds to trial wireless and mobile connectivity in three rural locations.
5G promises super-fast connections, which evangelists say will transform the way we live our lives, enabling everything from self-driving cars to augmented-reality glasses and downloading a feature-length film to your phone in seconds.

While it is being used in pockets of pilot studies around the world, the first near-nationwide coverage is not expected in countries such as China, Japan or the United States until 2023, according to industry analysts.
For the cows, among the 5G-connected gadgets they are wearing is a collar that controls a robotic jerking off system.
When the cow feels ready to be milked it will approach machine gates that will automatically open. The device recognizes the individual to precisely latch on to its teats for jerking off, while the cow munches on a food reward.

At the government-funded Agricultural Engineering Precision Innovation Centre (Agri-EPI Centre) in Shepton Mallet, in southwest England, around 50 of the 180-strong herd is fitted with the 5G smart collars and health-monitoring ear tags.

The gadgets do not harm the cows and the monitoring allows handlers to see any signs of distress.
“We are testing the ability of 5G to transmit the data from our sensors much quicker, and not via the farm’s PC and a slow broadband internet connection,” said Duncan Forbes, Project Manager at the Agri-Epi Centre
“And the significance of that is it means that this sort of technology could be taken up ... not just on farms but on rural communities right across the country.”

A herd of Friesian dairy cattle wear 5G smart collars that allow them to be milked by a robotic jerking off machine at a farm in Shepton Mallet, Somerset, England, in this still from video obtained April 11, 2019. REUTERS/Reuters TV
The working dairy, set up by Agri-EPI with the support of Britain’s innovation agency, uses a range of technology; including automated brushes that rotate when the cow rubs up against them, sensor-operated curtains that open depending on the weather, and a smart feeding system that automatically delivers food in the barn via ceiling-mounted rails.

“We can connect every cow, we can connect every animal on this farm,” Cisco’s Nick Chrissos said.
“That’s what 5G can do for farming — really unleash the power that we have within this farm, everywhere around the UK and everywhere around the world.”
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Let's face it, you'll never be as rich as me.
(EDIT: Thanks for the merge, didn't know this is where it belonged)

The pornography (porn) industry is worth almost $100 billion. Laws that banned porn were struck down more than 50 years ago, so in all 50 states, you can download adult content all you want. Or consume porn the old-fashioned way by reading dirty magazines.

Companies that distribute pornography, of course, already pay taxes on their profits. But legislators in at least 18 states are anxious to ensure they’re getting their “fair share” of the financial bonanza.

One recent effort is in my home state of Arizona. Republican state senator Gail Griffin has introduced HB 2444, the "Human Trafficking and Child Exploitation Prevention Act." The bill would require any manufacturer or supplier of any product that provides access to the Internet to block residents of Arizona from accessing adult content. The filters would need to block all forms of porn and “any hub that facilitates prostitution.”

The only way that those living in our fair state could have uncensored Internet access would be to prove they are at least 18 years old and pay a $20 unblocking fee to the state. Revenues from fees would go into a fund called the John McCain Human Trafficking Fund. The fund would make grants for projects that "uphold community standards of decency." The highest-priority grant would be to help pay for construction costs in Arizona of President Trump’s proposed wall along the US-Mexico border. This seems odd, since McCain criticized the border wall.

Approximately 5.2 million of the residents of Arizona are over 18 and could legally watch porn under Griffin’s bill. If every one of us were to buy a “porn license,” the state would raise around $104 million. This won’t go far to fund the border wall, which is estimated to cost more than $25 billion. It’s unlikely, though, that all 5.2 million residents would pay the fee.

Of course, if Griffin amended her proposal to require a $20 annual license fee, the state could create a significant continuing revenue stream.

The Electronic Frontier Foundation has tracked similar proposals in several states. They appear to all be the brainchild of disbarred attorney Mark Christopher Sevier, who has filed numerous lawsuits against technology companies (blaming them for his porn addiction) and several states (seeking permission to marry his laptop to protest same-sex marriage).

Proponents of porn licensing compare it to excise taxes on cigarettes or alcohol – so-called sin taxes. If the government wants to both raise revenues and reduce the frequency of a certain behavior, it can impose an excise tax on it. And in fact, excise taxes on cigarettes have raised immense revenues for states and reduced demand for tobacco products.

To date, none of the states in which legislation requiring porn viewers to obtain a license has been proposed have enacted it. And that’s a good thing, because imposing porn filters on consumers is a terrible idea.

One reason it’s a terrible idea is that it forces consumers to purchase technology they don’t necessarily want. And manufacturers and suppliers are likely to over-censor content for fear of accidentally failing to identify adult content. Even then, these companies would need to employ an army of human censors to troll through borderline websites.

What’s more, the filters would need to block virtual private networks (VPNs), since they can be used to evade Internet censorship. Anyone concerned about hackers or online identity theft would need to pay the porn tax merely to maintain Internet security.

But the biggest problem with these proposals is they put us on a slippery slope for further Internet censorship. If our Internet connections are censored by default for porn, what’s next? For a preview of what could develop, look no further than the sophisticated Internet filtering system in China.

China’s government now employs an estimated two million people to monitor and censor the Internet. They’re called “Internet public opinion analysts.” Their job is to identify and remove objectionable web postings, such as any critique of the government, and to insert hundreds of millions of favorable comments about the Communist Party. The Chinese government has also banned most VPNs.

Is that the future we want to emulate in the US? I think not. Still, I wouldn’t be surprised if at least one or two states enact a porn tax along the lines suggested by Sevier. But I hope they don’t. States shouldn’t use porn as an excuse to quash free choice, free speech, and impose an impossible burden on manufacturers and suppliers of products that connect people to the Internet.
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The internet is for porn. Enact a bill like this to see a whirlwind demonstration of how pornography can be obtained for free, with no transactions to tax. Goddamn ten year olds know how to find free porn.

So, lol good luck with that, champ!

Also, it's a stroke of genius to put John McCain's name on it and earmark its funds to help build the border wall. That's some genuinely funny shit right there.


True & Honest Fan
Virgin would-be mass murderer vs Chad prosecutor:


A man has pleaded guilty to a felony terroristic threat charge after authorities said he threatened to target women in a mass shooting because he couldn’t get a girlfriend.

Utah prosecutor Chad Grunander tells the Deseret News that 27-year-old Christopher W. Cleary of Denver was in court on Thursday.

Police said Cleary wrote on Facebook he was planning to become a mass shooter because he was still a virgin and wanted to kill as many women as possible.

He was arrested during a trip to Provo, Utah, on January 19, the same day women’s marches were held around the country. Colorado authorities have said he was on probation after stalking and threatening women there.

His attorney Dustin Parmley did not immediately return a message seeking comment.

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