IRL Fanfic, Kiwi Farms - For all that we ought to have said, and have not said

[Sped Xing]

Oh, no! Has this ever happened to you? You had a plan for an interaction on the farms that would be prime, but reality came out select?

Worry not. In this thread, put your words in other people's mouths to make your beggars ride.

Here, I'll start us out. You will get the idea. *ahem*

@Sped Xing : The butcher, the baker, thr epigrammarian.

@Pissmaster : Why not say "the epigram maker?"

@Sped Xing :

@Pissmaster : Oh! Of course! You are a swell poster, my friend.

 

[StreetGangsta]

This is my fictional KF scenario that I just thought up right now.

Null: You are an epic and awesome poster, have a free T&H and blue janny tag.
Me: Wow thank you based Null. I will ignore all of your obvious flaws now.

 

[HiramTheGrift]

I was thinking about this exact thing earlier

@need shoeonhead nudes : I made a mistake I realized it was you I've been looking for this entire time. Maybe you and I could get a drink? And we could figure out this thing between us? I've never really felt this way about someone before.

@Just A Butt : lmao gross aren't you mexican

Context for you internet explorers months from now

 

[Coelacanth]

Me: Plz make me a Verified Coelacanth now Null.
Null: Of course. I am sorry for the delay - you are based, not retarded and not gay, Coelacanth.
Everyone Else: *Gets up and slowly starts clapping while telling me I'm valid*.

 

[Big Ruski]

Me: Tommy, please kill yourself.

@Miss Tommie Jayne Wasserberg: I'm not going to kill myself. I must first atone for my crimes in prison where I shall spend the rest of my years locked up for being a filthy degenerate. I shall leave KF with my Sax and magical rocks. Thank you for putting up with me, all of you have big dicks and are super based.

 

[Knight of the Rose]

@SIGSEGV I've finally put my pride aside. I'll no longer pretend to not be mad on the internet EVER AGAIN
@Knight of the Rose Oh siggy, I've wait so long for this moment. KISS ME SIGBEAR!
@SIGSEGV Oh, darling living this lie has been so hard. I feel like so much weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I'm finally ready to settle down and have a family with you.
@Knight of the Rose OH SIG MY DARLING! Tell me that we'll be this happy forever!

 

[Fromtheblackdepths]

@BoxerShorts47: @Stardust, I love you, but you're too old for me.

 

[Shitted Scaredless]

Me: *purposeful cringe* hahaHA. You kiwis cannot harm me, I bully myself prominently!

Other kiwis: yo how the fuck did you write backwards