IslamQA.info - Batshit insane Islamic rulings

[Cosmos]

https://islamqa.info/en/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IslamQA.info

IslamQA is a website providing information regarding Islam in accordance with the Salafi school of thought.[2] It was founded by Muhammad Al-Munajjid and is the most popular Salafi website in the Arab-speaking world.[3]

According to Alexa Internet in June 2013, Islamqa.info was ranked #12,038 in the world with a bounce rate of roughly 75% (i.e., 75% of visits consist of only one pageview) and search engines accounting for 35% of visits.[7] In July 2015, Islamqa.info was ranked #6,787 in the world with a bounce rate of roughly 69.9% and search engines accounting for 46.7% of visits.[8] In 2015, Alexa lists the site as the most popular on the topic of Islam.[9]

So I've heard IslamQA being mentioned around the web (and even here on Kiwi Farms) and figured it's time to make a thread on them. Basically, IslamQA releases fatwas (Islamic rulings) and most of them range from hilariously ridiculous (whether eating mermaids is halal) to horrifying (encouraging Muslims to hate and distrust non-Muslims).

• Muslims should not live amongst non-Muslims. If they have to, they must hate the non-Muslims and not befriend them
• Eating mermaids is halal
• Your wife isn't allowed to stop you from raping your slave girls
• How to wipe your ass
• How to wipe your ass part 2
• Force your wife to wear a hijab even if she's Christian. If she refuses, divorce her for being a disobedient slut
• Muslims should not watch football/soccer because they're not allowed to like and respect non-Muslims. Also, the players may show some thigh and that's haram
• Women who drive are filthy whores
• You're not allowed to pray if you feel like taking a shit
• Women are "weak, defeated and dazzled" if they take part in politics and lack the intelligence to make good decisions
  
• Women who work as radio/TV broadcasters are whores who have lots of illegitimate children
• It's sinful to get to know a girl before marrying her

Oh, and this one is pretty great. Apparently, Muslim women should not use pain-relieving medication during labor and delivery, nor should they get C-sections, because it may be a plot against Muslims:

I would like to take this opportunity to point out a phenomenon that has been mentioned to us, which is that many obstetricians, male and female, in the hospitals are too keen for birth to take place by surgical means, which is known as a Caesarean. I am afraid that this may be a plot against the Muslims, because the more births take place in this manner, the more the skin of the abdomen is weakened and pregnancy becomes more dangerous for the woman, and she becomes unable to get pregnant. Some of the people who work in private hospitals have told me that many women come to the hospitals and their specialists tell them that there is no alternative to a caesarean, then they go to this private hospital and give birth naturally. He mentioned that there were about eighty such cases in one month. This means that the issue is serious, and attention must be drawn to it. It should be noted that in this case some pain and exhaustion is inevitable.

Oh yeah, and fucking ISIS took this fatwa to heart.

Also, , I wonder which belief system deserves the moniker of being the "religion of peace"?

"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

"Loving the enemies of Allaah is one of the most serious dangers for the Muslim, because loving them implies that one agrees with them and follows them, or at the very least that one does not denounce them, hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Whoever loves a people is one of them.”

There are literally dozens- if not hundreds- of other examples of this site being insane, but I'll stop here for now.

 

[Elwood P. Dowd]

http://www.alexa.com/siteinfo/islamqa.info

This is a Top 5000 site world-wide. Wow.

 

[ICametoLurk]

I actually had a dream earlier today that you were gonna make a thread like this.
Anyway some good ones:

Music and creative expression is all haram. Don't play music.

https://islamqa.info/en/5000


https://islamqa.info/en/202827
>The Sunnah indicates that it is prescribed to remove pubic hair and armpit hair. Al-Bukhaari (5889) and Muslim (257) narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The fitrah is five things – or five things are part of the fitrah – circumcision, shaving the pubes, cutting the nails, plucking the armpit hairs, and trimming the moustache.”
Yes, Muslim girls are religiously obligated to shave their pussies

Muslims are not allowed to sleep on their stomachs because the prophet said that thus did the sinners in hell sleep.

https://islamqa.info/en/827
Being an atheist is worse than being a Jew. It's a bigger sin than Shirk. Death is, of course, the correct penalty.

https://islamqa.info/en/113901

Camel urine is halal and medicinal

islamqa.info/en/83423

>Narrated Anas:Some people from the tribe of 'Ukl came to the Prophet and embraced Islam. The climate of Medina did not suit them, so the Prophet ordered them to go to the (herd of milch) camels of charity and to drink, their milk and urine (as a medicine).

>Sahih Bukhari 8:82:794

Mohammad once slept in a house and did not have his usual dream that the Angrel Gabriel came to him.

In the morning he saw that there was a dog in the house, and told his gang that the dog had scared away the angel Gabriel. From that point on, humans and doggos must no longer be friends, and doggos must only be treated coldly and as tools to do work, never as companions.

https://islamqa.info/en/69777

 

[BadaBadaBoom]

A person who is praying may sometimes imagine that he has passed wind whilst praying, when that has not in fact happened. This may be due to the whispering of the Shaytaan (the devil) who wants to spoil his prayer and make him not focus with proper humility in it. The worshiper should not stop praying unless he is certain that something has come out of him. - https://islamqa.info/en/8910

Man, and I really wanted to make a joke about Wahhabism being the strict adherence to the teachings of Wario.

 

[ICametoLurk]

If your ruler is practicing kufr (disbelief) you must launch a rebellion
https://islamqa.info/en/128453

Anime is forbidden (unless it's of only trees and mountains).
https://islamqa.info/en/39806

 

[Cosmos]

>Sahih Bukhari 8:82:794

Mohammad once slept in a house and did not have his usual dream that the Angrel Gabriel came to him.

In the morning he saw that there was a dog in the house, and told his gang that the dog had scared away the angel Gabriel. From that point on, humans and doggos must no longer be friends, and doggos must only be treated coldly and as tools to do work, never as companions.

https://islamqa.info/en/69777

Islam's beef with dogs is honestly one of my biggest objections to the religion. How the fuck can you hate doggos and think they're filthy and impure? The only explanation I've heard that makes any sense from a secular standpoint (as in, not because "Allah said so") is that dog ownership was discouraged in order to discourage Zoroastrianism, a formerly widespread religion that revered dogs.

Anyway, I found more fatwas on dogs:

https://islamqa.info/en/377

Keeping dogs nowadays is the habit of the kuffaar, who adopt them as friends, kiss them, let them lick them and their clothes, sleep with them and even leave them money in their wills. Keeping a dog is an imitation of the kuffaar. Some Muslims may claim that they need to keep a dog at home for purposes of protection, to which we respond that nowadays there are burglar alarm systems and other measures one may take for security purposes, and there is no need to keep a dog, praise be to Allaah.

"Non-Muslims are kind to dogs so fuck them"

https://islamqa.info/en/13356

The impurity of dogs is the greatest of animal impurities. The impurity of a dog can only be removed by washing seven times, one of which should be with earth. Even pigs, which the Qur’aan states are haraam and describes as an abomination (rijs) are not naajis (impure) to such an extent.

Dogs are impure and filthy, but unfortunately we find that some people are attracted to the ways of the kuffaar and their filthy habits, so they have started to keep dogs unnecessarily for no reason, keeping them, training them and cleaning them even though they can never be clean, even if they were washed with the waters of the ocean, because they are essentially impure.

Our advice to them is to repent to Allaah and to get the dogs out of their homes.

Try to imagine hating dogs this much. It's honestly borderline psychotic. Tons of people may not like dogs, but they would never consider them so filthy and impure that they can never be "clean." Also, love the dig at non-Muslims for their "filthy habits."

 

[MarineTrainedTard]

LOL, the Salafis, they're practically synonymous with the ridiculous batshit hardliners in the Wahabbi movement (EDIT: IIRC). The nuttiest of the nuts

 

[Cosmos]

Anime is forbidden
https://islamqa.info/en/39806

 

[BadaBadaBoom]

View attachment 245260

It gets even more hilariously specific: https://islamqa.info/en/225149

BONUS: https://islamqa.info/en/21179

 

[MarineTrainedTard]

....He's... he's not wrong, though.

 

[AnOminous]

View attachment 245260

Well, he's right.

 

[ICametoLurk]

They answer the most important questions in life.

Urine touching a wet object

http://islamqa.org/hanafi/muftionline/98745

I came home and found my son watching this music video by a Turkish/American music group:

There is a woman dancing in niqab, and also a man in niqab playing an electric guitar! I was shocked. I told my son that these are both haram, but my son insisted there was nothing in the Quran about it. What should I tell him?

http://islamqa.org/hanafi/darulifta...cing-in-niqab-and-also-a-man-in-niqab-playing

Also:

 

[HG 400]

Try to imagine hating dogs this much. It's honestly borderline psychotic. Tons of people may not like dogs, but they would never consider them so filthy and impure that they can never be "clean." Also, love the dig at non-Muslims for their "filthy habits."

The ancient roman religion had a festival where they'd crucify doggos so it's not like the Muslims are even top tier in this.

 

[NIGGO KILLA]

KILL JEWS, FREE PALESTINE!

Their words, not mine
"There cannot be harmony between Jews – who are usurpers and aggressors, who have oppressed and persecuted others, and who are known for their treachery and corruption throughout the world"

https://islamqa.info/en/1098

 

[Buer]

https://islamqa.info/en/7850

Lol apparently muslim women can't even wear perfume while attending a mosque because it "may cause undue provocation of desires." Muslim women can't even wear perfume otherwise muslim men will get horny.


https://islamqa.info/en/71338

Also apparently its a sin for a woman to be appointed judge? Because, according to Allaah, “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means.”

 

[ICametoLurk]

https://islamqa.info/en/2532

The Sunnah is to answer the call of nature sitting, making oneself close to the ground, because this is more concealing, and makes it less likely that spray from one's urine will come back on one’s body or clothes, making them dirty. If a person can be sure of avoiding this, then it is permissible to urinate standing up.

With regard to this point and the one before, it is worth noting that the habit of many people in the West and elsewhere, of urinating in a standing position in front of other people in public toilets (using urinals) is something which goes against good manners, modesty and decency, and is repulsive to anyone who possesses sound common sense and wisdom. How can anybody uncover in front of other people the ‘awrah (private parts) which Allaah has placed between his legs to conceal it and commanded him to cover it? The idea that it should be covered is well established among all wise and decent people of all races. It is wrong in principle to build restrooms of this shameful type, where the users can see one another, thus making them worse than some kinds of animals whose habit is to conceal themselves from one another when urinating or defecating.

If you want to pee you have to pee sitting down. Also don't touch ur dick with ur right hand when peeing.



https://islamqa.info/en/20327

Why apostates must be killed

What is the ruling on drawing animate beings for fun and then erasing them straight away?
https://islamqa.info/en/129446


Ruling on having intercourse with a slave woman when one has a wife
https://web.archive.org/web/20150905232204/http://islamqa.info:80/en/10382


Edit:

http://islamqa.org/hanafi/muftionline/46527

Q: Is it permissible to tell some one “happy birthday”?

A: Celebrating birthdays is a custom of the kuffaar. As Muslims, we are commanded to refrain from emulating the kuffaar as well as adopting their ways. Hence, it is reprehensible to share in the happiness of someone celebrating his birthday by saying “happy birthday” to him.

 

[The Kebab and Calculator]

Got to give them some kudos for hitting Anime spot on.

And there are plenty of cows we know who definitely need some advice on ass-wiping.

 

[Cosmos]

Q: Is it permissible to tell some one “happy birthday”?

A: Celebrating birthdays is a custom of the kuffaar. As Muslims, we are commanded to refrain from emulating the kuffaar as well as adopting their ways. Hence, it is reprehensible to share in the happiness of someone celebrating his birthday by saying “happy birthday” to him.

Holy shit, Salafis and Wahhabis are the most miserable fucking people on the planet. They are the living embodiment of this picture:

I'm 100% sure the only reason they haven't all killed themselves is because suicide is haram, and therefore they'd go to hell instead of finally enjoying themselves in Paradise. I mean, just imagine living a life without

• Music
• Drawings and art of anything that resembles a living creature
• Dancing
• Dogs
• Any animals other than cats, actually
• Alcohol
• Pork
• Indulging in non-Islamic cultures (so no jeans, movies, etc)
• Fun celebrations like birthdays, Christmas, New Years, and so on
• Friends who don't share 100% of your beliefs
• Socializing and interacting with the opposite sex
• Pre-marital relationships (even regarding things as innocent as kissing or holding hands)
• Playing dice or anything that depends on luck as it goes against Allah's predetermined fate
• Reading and writing anything that goes outside the realm of Islam
  
• Playing anything that results in winning a cash prize
  
• Literally everything else that makes life enjoyable

How does this belief system even have any followers, let alone tens of millions of them???

 

[Ruin]

How does this belief system even have any followers, let alone tens of millions of them???

The threat of execution will do that.

It honestly amazes me how many people are blind to the fact that political Islam is literally the return of fascism just with goatfucking inbreds instead of guys in cool black uniforms.

 

[ICametoLurk]

Holy shit, Salafis and Wahhabis are the most miserable fucking people on the planet. They are the living embodiment of this picture:

View attachment 245311

Funfairs aren't allowed
https://islamqa.info/en/134777

Jokes aren't allowed
https://islamqa.info/en/22170

Unless it's infidels
https://islamqa.info/en/9057

Skydiving isn't allowed
https://islamqa.info/en/138420

Video Games that have health packs aren't allowed because of the cross on them

https://islamqa.info/en/2898