Careercow Jack Scalfani / Cooking With Jack - Youtube Celebrity "Chef" and Salmonella Survivor; 2 Strokes and counting

Stroke 3 when? As of May 2021

  • Within the next 3 months

    Votes: 40 12.9%
  • 3-6 months

    Votes: 42 13.5%
  • 6 months - 1 Year

    Votes: 74 23.8%
  • 1-2 Years

    Votes: 43 13.8%
  • 3+ Years

    Votes: 11 3.5%
  • Never

    Votes: 6 1.9%
  • The next big health scare will be something else

    Votes: 146 46.9%

  • Total voters
    311

Aunt Myrna

Have you tried my Party Cheese Salad?
kiwifarms.net
He's just uploaded to Facebook from Panera, overexaggerating a minor near-accident at the parking lot and something about a family of geese(?) behind his car. OOOOH FREAKY!!

His whole demeanor was as though he had just encountered a near death experience. It's also funny that the way he described the experience was as though he was driving the vehicle, and not Medium T.

Also I wonder if any of the church camp kids are lurking here (or likely led to the farms from the fat Dream fallout) - that's right, your "orange camp leader" is one hell of a creep.

View attachment 2252881
It sounds like his near miss was entirely avoidable. "He's not seeing me. He keeps backing out, he keeps backing out." So then slow down your car you stupid fuck. Just because you have the right of way doesn't mean you don't have to account for the other driver. But then he says it happened so quickly that he had to jump the opposite curb to avoid a collision. And this occurred in his neighborhood with the wide streets, no obstructions on the sides of the road, and a pretty low speed limit. (Bonus points for the totally hetero phrasing about touching bodies with the guy).

And then in the parking lot a huge family of geese appear out of nowhere right behind him as he parks. So then he has to wait for the ducks to move. Jack's brain is fucking FRIED.

All these crazy driving incidents and complaints lately. Jack must just be so unlucky, right? Methinks its says more about him than those around him:
“If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole.”
 

Laughingjoke2

kiwifarms.net
He's just uploaded to Facebook from Panera, overexaggerating a minor near-accident at the parking lot and something about a family of geese(?) behind his car. OOOOH FREAKY!!

His whole demeanor was as though he had just encountered a near death experience. It's also funny that the way he described the experience was as though he was driving the vehicle, and not Medium T.

Also I wonder if any of the church camp kids are lurking here (or likely led to the farms from the fat Dream fallout) - that's right, your "orange camp leader" is one hell of a creep.

View attachment 2252881
He even makes an near accident with his car sound gay.
 

Dangerhair

kiwifarms.net
So they're making teams based on colors and stuff which explains his fascination with orange and why he dyed his hair like a crazy person. That's fine and all but what exactly are they doing? Who prays the best? Who got more conversions to their version of Christianity? Who had the best hip-hop dance moves although what that has to do with Christianity I'm not sure.

Seriously, what the hell is the point of all this and why is Qtard Cali being so creepy about it?

The colour thing sorta makes sense- I remember something like that when I went to non-Jesus flavoured sleepover summer camp. At the end of the month, they did a Camp Olympics type thing that was a lot of fun.

Usually by that point, you'd know your cabin-mates (all your same age and sex), and the kids you did activities with, but for the Camp Olympics, everybody got divided up into 3 "tribes", Red, Blue and Green., and it was a camp-wide split, regardless of cabin, age or sex. They did that so you would wind up meeting new people.

It was cool how they did the events too, because they had ones that even kids who weren't good at sports could win, like speed beading, trivia, an apple eating contest and marathon Monopoly. On the last day of it, there was a Wacky Relay, where every camper had to sign up to do one leg of it. It took half a day and involved everything from an egg spoon race to a scavenger hunt to a canoe race. Except for the relay which was worth 5x the points, everything was scored 3 points for 1st, 2 for second and 1 for 3rd; the only way a tribe got zero points was a loss by forfeit, like if nobody from that tribe signed up for a particular event.

The whole point of it was team spirit and to teach kids that everybody is good at something.

I'm not sure how that would work in a megachurch with stadium seating though.
 
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Aaway

kiwifarms.net
He's just uploaded to Facebook from Panera, overexaggerating a minor near-accident at the parking lot and something about a family of geese(?) behind his car. OOOOH FREAKY!!

His whole demeanor was as though he had just encountered a near death experience. It's also funny that the way he described the experience was as though he was driving the vehicle, and not Medium T.

Also I wonder if any of the church camp kids are lurking here (or likely led to the farms from the fat Dream fallout) - that's right, your "orange camp leader" is one hell of a creep.

View attachment 2252881
seems like jack's latest thing is "crazy drivers." he's been posting similar videos and pictures of bad parkjobs for a couple weeks now

interestingly enough, it all started around the time people questioned why tammy's always the one driving on fat on the go. wouldn't surprise me at all if this is his way of lying to make it seem like he does drive. especially in this video when he makes it seem like he was the one driving
 

Adamska

Last Gunman
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Fatboy's clearly angry in that facebook video given he usually only shows his baldness when he's too busy tantruming to keep his kiddie cap on.

His reeeing on driving is all because he's an impatient child trying to lie about how he can totally drive despite his dead arm being the one needed to shift gears and turn keys. Not to mention his weak leg is also the one that manages the gas and breaks.

In reality, Tammy had to deal with that and the added wait to get more food made Jack hangry. He's also angry probably that people are really highlighting how worthless and childlike he is too, and probably conflates driving to "manliness" like he does grills and smokers and avoiding salads.
 

Schmuck of Ages

kiwifarms.net
Cali doesn't seem to embarrassed since he just posted more vids being weird with teens.
 

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Phil Ken Sebben

The Potato Whisperer.
kiwifarms.net
So then slow down your car you stupid fuck. Just because you have the right of way doesn't mean you don't have to account for the other driver. But then he says it happened so quickly that he had to jump the opposite curb to avoid a collision. And this occurred in his neighborhood with the wide streets, no obstructions on the sides of the road, and a pretty low speed limit.
Like Mushbrain was the one driving. With his gimp arm and leg he's not going to be able to do that unless he's somehow had the car redone so he can operate it like that and the chances of that are slim. In fact that's the only thing that's slim about Mushbrain.

And based on how I've seen people drive it's never slow down if somebody is backing out of their driveway. It's speed up around them to get in front.
 

ParanoidChant

kiwifarms.net
Cali doesn't seem to embarrassed since he just posted more vids being weird with teens.
At this point, I'm starting to think that Junior really is a pedophile. No adult in their right mind ever gets so excited about being at some shitty little Christian kids summer camp that they post this much about it on their Instagram unless they're planning on fucking one of them later.
 

Kuritan Deplorable

kiwifarms.net
I'm actually struggling to understand what benefit that board is supposed to give. Its easier to wash my countertop of a bit of extra meat juice than it would be to wash that drip-through contraption and tray. If I'm expecting some seriously juicy stuff, I can just lay down some paper towel under and around the board. This things gonna be harder to clean, more annoying to store, and the same desired effect really could be achieved by having a regular cutting board with a quarter-inch lip in it.

Hell, ten seconds on google shows those exist.
1623452865882.png

If your meat is so juicy that it overflows that, you need to stop cooking soup on the barbeque.
 

Sped Xing

!Bigfoot! sightings please call 908-314-7784
kiwifarms.net
"Find things you're excited about. I can't explain that."

A gallon of juice? Barf.
 

ParanoidChant

kiwifarms.net
Baby arm finally posted a new video
Even after reading through every page of this thread, I'm still totally confused as to how Jack manages to simultaneously burn and severely undercook nearly every cut of meat he makes. Slightly overcooking or undercooking meat is a pretty normal thing for novice chefs to do, but you need to be an advanced level retard to burn the outside and leave the inside raw every single fucking time you smoke something.

EDIT: This post was pretty dumb, sorry about that.
 
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