Careercow Jack Scalfani / Cooking With Jack - Youtube Celebrity "Chef" and Salmonella Survivor; 2 Strokes and counting

Stroke 3 when? As of May 2021

  • Within the next 3 months

    Votes: 90 13.4%
  • 3-6 months

    Votes: 77 11.5%
  • 6 months - 1 Year

    Votes: 158 23.5%
  • 1-2 Years

    Votes: 97 14.5%
  • 3+ Years

    Votes: 16 2.4%
  • Never

    Votes: 14 2.1%
  • The next big health scare will be something else

    Votes: 324 48.3%

  • Total voters
    671

p1138

kiwifarms.net
Come on in close, food jacks
Ok, little more pepper than I'd use but fine. Olive oil, pepper, dried garlic bits, salt, sure fine. I'd be willing to eat that. Parmesan... ok maybe if it were real and not sawdust. You can actually use parmesan for flavor without dumping fistfulls of it into your food, of course you should also cut back on the salt at the same time.

WHY THE FUCK DOES HE NEED TO TELL THE CAMERA HE FORGOT TO PREHEAT THE DAMN OVEN. Just cut the damn video, he was only going to cut to moving it to the damn counter anyway, he can't put the shit in the oven on his own. And then of all things... why the damn mozarella? And of course he can't even put fucking greenbeans in his mouth without shoving his tongue out as far as it can go. It's greenbeans, they'll bend if you insist on just shoving them into your facehole.

And the tilt? Maybe at this point he thinks a dutch angle is interesting? Perhaps in a year he'll have someone shining a flashlight into the camera from off screen for a lensflare, or maybe someone constantly bumping the tripod for shakey cam.

edit: For fucks sake. Out of curiosity since I know damn well Jack didn't come up with this on his own, I checked youtube for garlic parmesan green beans. There's a ton of them, mostly the same except for two things. None of them have someone dumping a wad of mozzarella cheese on them, and they're all mostly 2-5 minutes long. So not only did Jack fuck up by adding a bunch of extra cheese for no reason, he also managed to make the video 2-3x longer than the average better shot video and better prepared recipe.
 

buttvomit

kiwifarms.net
Yes, but that wasn't my point. Getting 2 rooms, seeing as how they're basically two couples makes more sense than a suite. Even if he only dropped $337, I still wouldn't want to be stuck in the same suite as my parents at Mushbrain Jr's age. That said looking up suites right now at the bellagio, you're not getting a 2 bedroom suite for $400. Their 2 bed tower suites(the cheaper one) is closer to $900/night

That said, just a basic search on any freakin travel site, Caesar's Palace, $159 a night for a basic room with a king bed, that'll have a TV so Jack can just sit in the room all day and watch that I guess, right in the middle of the strip. And two of those would have been cheaper than keeping the Scalfani clan in one suite way off the strip, and actually be in a location where they're actually near things. Even the flamingo that's basically ancient at this point is something like $40 a night for a place to crash? Paris and Planet Hollywood? Yeah definitely could have got a huge suite there for around $500. Basically any of the places that either aren't recent or one of the big names... you can get a room for dirt cheap. Hell, some rooms in vegas on the strip right now are cheaper than the local rinkydink shit in my area because those places are desperate to get customers.

But of course this is just a couple minutes of looking around on the internet, and mushbrain apparently can't do that with only one arm.
Ceasers has rooms for under 60 a night the rio is like 30 bucks rn. Idgi, maybe they don't like walking past the smoke, gambling and drinking to go there room?
 

desu91

Fuck your dopamine receptors
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Sheltered suburban fat white trash discovers fish spas for the first time. Maybe he can put his dead arm in there and have the fish eat it all up.

1631680055811.png
 

JackIsBlack

kiwifarms.net
I guess Senior is never going to learn that a massive heaping of cheese leads to constipation and heart failure.

“Researchers suggest that eating around 40 grams (or 1.41 ounces) of cheese every day could help to reduce the risk of heart disease and stroke. Share on Pinterest Researchers suggest that eating a small amount of cheese every day may benefit heart health.”

🤡🤡🤡
 

StraightShooter2

kiwifarms.net
I guess Senior is never going to learn that a massive heaping of cheese leads to constipation and heart failure.

“Researchers suggest that eating around 40 grams (or 1.41 ounces) of cheese every day could help to reduce the risk of heart disease and stroke. Share on Pinterest Researchers suggest that eating a small amount of cheese every day may benefit heart health.”

🤡🤡🤡
And just keep in mind that this is a guy who's added up to 3 pounds of cheese (1,360 grams) per individual recipe.

(Which is more than an entire month's worth in one dish if 40g is the targeted amount).
 

Fatty2988

kiwifarms.net
>lately I've been getting excited about the show
>shitty pre-shredded walmart mozzarella on display

>"I'm pumped"
>"We're doing more lazy man"

I've been getting a lot of his old videos recommended lately, and it really is incredible how bad Jack's content has gotten. Jack has gotten so fucking lazy, every recipe is lazy as fuck. I don't know why he acted like he was making a return to lazy man when that seems to be all he does lately. Every video is now some half assed recipe. No one wants to watch a channel where every single recipe is full of shortcuts, people are smart enough to figure that out on their own. People go to cooking channels to see how to do it properly, not this shit.

I mean for fucks sake this is barely a recipe, it's basically just green bean casserole minus the cream of mushroom. It doesn't even look that bad, but this doesn't need to be a whole fucking 7min video. On a competent channel this would be a 30 sec cutaway before going back to the main dish. Hell I've seen channels that have sub-7 minute recipes that include a side. There is just so much empty air time, the last 90 seconds of review time is completely pointless. He literally just repeated the ingredients. Garlicky, salty, pepper, cheesy, and oily? You don't fucking say?

I don't get why mush brain even makes videos anymore. It doesn't even seem like he cares or enjoys it anymore, he puts zero effort into these "recipes" and his editing. He barely gets attention or money, so if there is no passion what even is the point?
I think Jack's life is so empty it's just all he has, even though he's terrible at it. I think he also is super delusional and still does it to brag that he's a 'famous youtuber chef.'
 

StraightShooter2

kiwifarms.net
I think Jack's life is so empty
If his life is empty, then it must be inversely proportional to his stomach.

From what I can tell, even though he always claims "I'm not a chef, just an average guy", he seems to demand to be treated like a professional chef and gets pissy at anyone who suggests otherwise.

It's also worth mentioning that fairly recently, a FB poster suggested that the amount of cheese he adds to recipes isn't healthy, and Jack responded with a snotty reply and claimed that "cheese is a healthy fat".

(His claim is more or less bogus and questions his basic nutritional understanding, since the amounts of saturated fat in cheese are the same type of fat that's in meat or fast food grease).
 

captkrisma

kiwifarms.net
Yes, but that wasn't my point. Getting 2 rooms, seeing as how they're basically two couples makes more sense than a suite. Even if he only dropped $337, I still wouldn't want to be stuck in the same suite as my parents at Mushbrain Jr's age. That said looking up suites right now at the bellagio, you're not getting a 2 bedroom suite for $400. Their 2 bed tower suites(the cheaper one) is closer to $900/night

That said, just a basic search on any freakin travel site, Caesar's Palace, $159 a night for a basic room with a king bed, that'll have a TV so Jack can just sit in the room all day and watch that I guess, right in the middle of the strip. And two of those would have been cheaper than keeping the Scalfani clan in one suite way off the strip, and actually be in a location where they're actually near things. Even the flamingo that's basically ancient at this point is something like $40 a night for a place to crash? Paris and Planet Hollywood? Yeah definitely could have got a huge suite there for around $500. Basically any of the places that either aren't recent or one of the big names... you can get a room for dirt cheap. Hell, some rooms in vegas on the strip right now are cheaper than the local rinkydink shit in my area because those places are desperate to get customers.

But of course this is just a couple minutes of looking around on the internet, and mushbrain apparently can't do that with only one arm.
I did a quick search and could book the penthouse suite at the Bellagio for about $800/night for next week. The same room Garrett showed off for a week at twice what Tammy is spending.

You're getting what I was insinuating with my post though: with that kind of money, Jack could have booked two adequate rooms at any of the bigger resorts or two really nice rooms at places like Circus Circus or The Strat. Last Vegas trip I was able to hotwire The Strat for $15, booked Luxor for around $40 a night, and this was pre-pandemic. I also read that The Strat dipped down to $10/night bookings. As for a DVD player, just be nice to the concierge and they'd hook Jack up.

The picture of the cop is also taken at the Las Vegas South Premium outlet store, again directly South of the strip. Jack showed Brianna "Las Vegas shopping" by going to an outlet. Guess what they also have at the same outlet store? Dr. Fish Spa.
 

Kosher Salt

(((NaCl)))
kiwifarms.net
"Water is still in dish water"
Did he expect the cleaning staff to be magicians?
I can't even figure out what he's trying to say here. "Water is still in dish washer"? But the dishes were also dirty? What does this mean? So they ran the dishwasher and the dishes were still wet and not perfectly sparkling? Was there some standing water left in the bottom? It's a dishwasher, that is within the expected outcome. He's just trying to get a free week. Fucking fuck off, Jack, you cunt.

Someone at least put the dishes into the dishwasher and pushed START, which is more than I'd expect Jackoff to do (there are Mexicans for that). They've been sanitized, if that's not good enough for you, put them in the sink and scrub them, fatty.
 

AnOminous

μολὼν λαβέ
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
So I was wondering - does anyone have a list of any recipes that Jack has never tried, but they'd like to see him attempt (and probably royally fuck up in the process)?

I mentioned haggis once, but I doubt he'll do it.
There's only one recipe I want to see Jack try. Hydrogen cyanide. Zyklon B. He would fucking fail of course.
 

Tom B

In the Dingle of the Old Forest.
kiwifarms.net
(His claim is more or less bogus and questions his basic nutritional understanding, since the amounts of saturated fat in cheese are the same type of fat that's in meat or fast food grease).
Feel like Jack saw some people throughout life like Don Gorske or like those little old women who make the news because they drink a case of Dr pepper a day at 98 years old and there's nothing wrong with them and Jack was like "wow, I could do that too".

Except with Jack it's meat and cheese and unlike Don Gorske, Jacks body wasn't designed by God or destined to eat crap and live long.
 

p1138

kiwifarms.net
Ceasers has rooms for under 60 a night the rio is like 30 bucks rn. Idgi, maybe they don't like walking past the smoke, gambling and drinking to go there room?
Well he could just stick to the tile areas and avoiding the carpeted parts? Of course I'm sure mushbrain has never noticed that. Of course this also implies they actually go anywhere much otherwise wtf do they need a kitchen and DVD player for? And yeah, if you've got little kids or something with you sure I get it, but they don't and Jr. already spent his disposable income for the month gambling anyway.
I did a quick search and could book the penthouse suite at the Bellagio for about $800/night for next week. The same room Garrett showed off for a week at twice what Tammy is spending.

You're getting what I was insinuating with my post though: with that kind of money, Jack could have booked two adequate rooms at any of the bigger resorts or two really nice rooms at places like Circus Circus or The Strat. Last Vegas trip I was able to hotwire The Strat for $15, booked Luxor for around $40 a night, and this was pre-pandemic. I also read that The Strat dipped down to $10/night bookings. As for a DVD player, just be nice to the concierge and they'd hook Jack up.
Yeah, I get what you're saying(the actual 2 bedroom suites were still more expensive, and I can't imagine this family being retarded enough to be 2 couples in the same room next to eachother). But that aside, yes they could have gotten individual rooms to just crash in on the strip closer to everything for dirt cheap, or got 2 upscale rooms for as much and been on the strip instead of being 2 miles away and needing to make it a trip to go anywhere instead of just walking outside which likely means a rental car or public transit(more money) because we sure as hell know that Jack ain't walking his ass up to the strip. I guess if this tahiti village has a shuttle they could use that for free but then you're waiting on that... yeah the whole thing is retarded.
 

FatJacksFatAssTongue

kiwifarms.net
Ima sittin on a scooter Fatty Doo Doo!
I don’t get it … Jagoff has mentioned numerous times in the past 6 months that has part of his big weight loss program, he and Tammy would be walking to get some exercise. Even had the ‘1 mile’ at his local park posted. So why the scooty puff??

Seems to me the Las Vegas Strip/casino floors/outlet malls etc would be a perfect opportunity to get lots of steps in. Guess not though — no surprise. What a loser
 
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