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Careercow Jack Scalfani / Cooking With JackYoutube Celebrity "Chef" and Salmonella Survivor

Discussion in 'Lolcows' started by Gensdupays, Oct 16, 2015.

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?

If you really had to who would you sex?

  1. Jack

    0.5%
  2. Jack Jr

    1.0%
  3. Null

    34.8%
  4. Tammy

    4.4%
  5. His fossilized meat

    1.5%
  6. His undercooked meat

    4.9%
  7. His botulism-infected jars of preserved food

    2.0%
  8. His frozen year-old freezer meat

    1.0%
  9. 16 pound jar of cool whip (KETO FRIENDLY)

    39.2%
  10. His stroked arm

    10.8%
  1. They're okay for if you're going to crumble bacon for a topping for salad or soup or whatever. The fact that it just dries it out is actually a plus for that.

    For anything else, just fry it or bake it you lazy fuck.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    AnOminous

    AnOminous life of the mind
    True & Honest Fan Retired Staff

    kiwifarms.net
  2. only a true fat fuck like jack has no problem with microwaved bacon. its really not that hard to cook it the right way

    what a shock, he didn't follow the directions because he's too lazy and didn't want to "waste his paper towels." how hard is it to put some paper towels around the thing? he's such a cheap asshole
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
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  3. jack's on keto assholes. he needs at least ten bacon microwave informercials gadgets on hand 24/7.

    I wonder why he doesn't try out products like steamers for veggies?
     
    • Agree Agree x 4
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    Kelly Bundy

    Kelly Bundy I can be anything I want to be. It's the '90s.

    kiwifarms.net
  4. Veggies have too many carbs. He's trying to eat healthy.
     
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  5. Jack really needs to stop pretending that he's getting these products from the company; we know he buys that shit himself with Tammy's money so he can shill in in the desperate hope of getting free gimmes like he might have used to when his channel was seen as bigger.

    Either way, Microwave bacon isn't too bad honestly, but once you have one gadget that helps with the grease, you don't need any more. Well except Jack, he will always demand more bacon to feed the flesh eating ghost gnawing at his soul.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
    Adamska

    Adamska Last Gunman
    True & Honest Fan

    kiwifarms.net
  6. imagine jack trudging down an alley at night, a dish in his stroked out arm, labored breathing, shoving his cooking down a homeless man's throat while rain and sweat trickles down his forehead, the streetlight flickering in and out
     
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    #3566 yeahweknow, Dec 8, 2018 at 3:31 AM
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2018 at 4:06 AM
    kiwifarms.net
  7. Why are you posting erotic fanfic?
     
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  8. I use to watch those kitchen gadgets infomercials and get angry at how they tried to make the most mundane kitchen act look difficult treating the consumer like idiots just to sell their cheap product. After watching Jack I now feel like I owe those infomercials an apology because I guess some really are that dumb god help us all.
     
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    kiwifarms.net
  9. Is this American Psycho: Stroked lardass edition?
     
    King Kobra

    King Kobra Snek

    kiwifarms.net
  10. Jack needs massive amounts of bacon and he needs it inside his mouth RIGHT FUCKING NOW.
     
    • Agree Agree x 7
    • Informative Informative x 1
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  11. Jack is the special type of person who actually does have pocket bacon with him at all times. He also has pocket chicken, which is usually just raw chunks of thigh, but I don't like talking about that.
     
    • Informative Informative x 8
    Adamska

    Adamska Last Gunman
    True & Honest Fan

    kiwifarms.net
  12. he really does

    one of my favorite jack bits was when he went to a brazilian bbq place and said that the manager scolded him on a previous visit because he picked up bacon with his hands instead of using the tongs. then immediately after he used the tongs to pick up a piece to eat while he walked around the buffet area
     
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  13. Jack is looking huge in his new video:
    upload_2018-12-9_0-14-34.png
     
    • Informative Informative x 16
    kiwifarms.net
  14. its always funny seeing jack and jack jr standing next to normal looking people

    puts into perspective how short and obese they are
     
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  15. Jack sure is smug he didn't have to eat that hot wing full of 6M scoville sauce and could foist off of others for desperate views on a late topic. Seriously, he's a cunt even to his family and their friends as he tries to profit off of them, and just tries to hide it as simple pranks to rationalize it. Have fun with your third stroke you festering pile of blubber.

    The best part? It was a dull video because the slob fucked up using it by diluting it in barbecue sauce. Their reactions weren't even that interesting despite the "hilarious" trick. Nice desperate view grab you fuck.
     
    • Agree Agree x 9
    #3575 Adamska, Dec 8, 2018 at 6:02 PM
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2018 at 6:08 PM
    Adamska

    Adamska Last Gunman
    True & Honest Fan

    kiwifarms.net
  16. Has he actually gotten fatter since pretending to start keto?
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    A Witty Name

    A Witty Name A Witty Title
    True & Honest Fan

    kiwifarms.net
  17. The answer to “has Jack gotten fatter?” is always yes, regardless of context.
     
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    ObeseScreamingBlackMan

    ObeseScreamingBlackMan Screamin' Gay Autism
    True & Honest Fan

    kiwifarms.net
    • Agree Agree x 7
    She Brings The Rain

    She Brings The Rain It feels like spring

    kiwifarms.net
  18. Poor guys. I hope that sauce was hot enough to kill the salmonella.
     
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    MediocreMilt

    MediocreMilt Trigger the libs. Own the libs.

    kiwifarms.net
  19. I kinda feel that those two guys didn't know what they were getting into. Not sure they knew this was going to be public on YouTube. One of them asked if he was recording this to which Jack replies "Yes, I'm recording and there'll be copies for everybody" *smirk*
     
    • Informative Informative x 6
    • Agree Agree x 1
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