Careercow Jack Scalfani / Cooking With Jack - Youtube Celebrity "Chef" and Salmonella Survivor

If you really had to who would you sex?


  • Total voters
    476

Adamska

Last Gunman
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Because he's lying.This is the man who can cook meat for hours and hours to the point that it's burnt to a crisp on the outside yet it's somehow completely raw on the inside. He's so incompetent that you have to wonder if it's all intentional.
It is intentional in a way; Jack sets his temperatures up too high to quicken the cooking process due to being an impatient manbaby who wants food NOW NOW NOW. That causes the burnt ass crust and the bleeding raw center.
 

Birthday Dickpunch

hugs pls \(ouo)/
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
It is intentional in a way; Jack sets his temperatures up too high to quicken the cooking process due to being an impatient manbaby who wants food NOW NOW NOW. That causes the burnt ass crust and the bleeding raw center.
Excuse you, it isn't bleeding raw. It's "wet". A normal person might say juicy or moist (or raw), but not our Jacky. Wet meat only for his gob.
 

Aaway

kiwifarms.net
jack still on that BS about companies sending him their products all the time. he claims the products he's reviewing were sent to him randomly and that he never got in touch with the company. his garage must be filled to the roof with food products from the last decade

also, something tells me he's using the second product wrong
 

theriddler3

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
He used the m.ilkshake attachment for chopping up food.
View attachment 749046
Isn't that just a food processor with a weird design? I'm sure Jack already has one of those, so why buy another one that looks uncannily like a diaper genie? I'm not going to play into his fantasy of being sent these products without his consent (implicitly because he's an e-celebrity)
 

Whatthefuck

kiwifarms.net
Yeah because you live in a white majority country, of course most of the people you see at any well known event are gonna be white.

Cinco de mayo is celebrated in Mexico, it's celebrating chasing off Napoleon the 3rd from taking control of large parts of the country, including from Mexico City.
It's kind of like how we appropriated St. Patrick's Day. Almost none of the drunken assholes on St. Paddy's Day knows why it's celebrated or who St. Paddy was. It's just an excuse for us to be drunk assholes. Same with Cinco de Mayo.
 

JackDavis

kiwifarms.net
jack still on that BS about companies sending him their products all the time. he claims the products he's reviewing were sent to him randomly and that he never got in touch with the company. his garage must be filled to the roof with food products from the last decade

also, something tells me he's using the second product wrong
What I wouldn't give to see the footage of him using that juicer. It had to have been BAD for him to cut it completely out.

He used the m.ilkshake attachment for chopping up food.
Holy fucking shit, he did. The m.shake attachment is plastic. This fuckhead picked up a plastic attachment and expected it to chop up peppers. Fuck.
 

Spasticus Autisticus

kiwifarms.net
I suspect Jack actively hounds companies for free promo products, and I can see him occasionally getting them, especially from a smaller company that might not be very savvy about social media marketing. The Comic Sans font on the food processor package is indicative in that regard. Someone who doesn't know much about YouTube might see his 400k subscribers and his line of sauces and think he actually has reach and influence. They won't see that his recent videos struggle to break 5k views and that most of those are hatewatches. They won't understand the importance of audience engagement to reach and why his closing of comments and likes/dislikes is a red flag. They won't watch his other product reviews and see how poor of a reviewer he is and the generally bad quality of his videos (and hoo boy is this one a doozy, not only is the camera out-of-focus but also tilted. He's like the anti-Reviewbrah). He certainly doesn't score anything more substantial than a food processor, but in this case I actually believe him when he claims they sent it to him.
 

Aaway

kiwifarms.net
View attachment 749188

Jack, whose channel is subscribed to by approximately 404,500 people, celebrates the fact that one of his nine-year-old videos has achieved 250,000 views. Freakin’ Reviews, an account that is subscribed to by approximately 82,500 fewer people, posted this review of a pan six months ago, and it has already amassed more than 685,000 views.
this is something pretty common with older youtube channels

jack's channel has been active since 2007 and he currently has 9 videos that have 1M+ views. six of those videos are from 9+ years ago. and if you take a look at his videos with 100K+ views you'll see that the vast majority are 5+ years old. right now he's averaging about 3K views per month which is pretty shitty for a channel with that many subs.

these older channels got lots of subs during youtube's early years and most of those subs just stopped watching after a while. i'm sure many others stopped watching because they realized jack sucks at everything. also, in regards to his latest video i have to say that jack using a milkshake attachment to chop peppers is a new low. guy can't even take 5 seconds to look at the manual
 

Fully Eshay Skits Bruh

Never forget Cronulla beach
kiwifarms.net
View attachment 746051

I'll just leave this here.
"In 1975 Maury Davis slit the throat of a 54-year-old Irving Texas woman named Jo Ella Liles. The crime was brutal and senseless. Davis was upset about spilling paint on his boots so somebody had to die. He admitted his guilt but claimed demonic possession during his insanity defence. He did not apologize to the family of his victim."
:jaceknife:
 

JackDavis

kiwifarms.net
Stolen from: https://www.fivehearthome.com/homemade-italian-salad-dressing-better-than-olive-garden-copycat-recipe/
"here is recipe" I love how he puts in so little effort. He copy/pastes the whole recipe with no edits, and just adds in "here is recipe" before it.

He buys a double pack of Olive Garden Italian Dressing every 2-3 weeks from Sam's Club (48oz total btw, almost a gallon).
"Jack Jr. drinks it........ basically, on his salad. It's beautiful." Huh?
"I haven't tried it yet, we're gonna try it together today. I'm going to show you how to make your own Olive Garden Italian Dressing, that's even better." How do you know it's better if you haven't tried it yet?
"We doubled everything, because we're making twice as much." Of course you're making a double batch.
"Once you cook extra virgin [olive oil], it's no longer extra virgin, it's regular olive oil. So you only use extra virgin in cold recipes." I'm no lipids expert but I don't think that's how it works.
He was planning on drinking it from the vessel to taste it because he was too lazy to grab a spoon. He thought better of it and grabbed a spoon.
"Is it better than Olive Garden Dressing? [...] It's comparable." I thought you said it's even better?
 

AnOminous

do you see what happens
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
"Once you cook extra virgin [olive oil], it's no longer extra virgin, it's regular olive oil. So you only use extra virgin in cold recipes." I'm no lipids expert but I don't think that's how it works.
It's complete and utter Jackshit. It's actually reasonably good for even fairly high temperature frying, has a fairly high smoke point for what it is, and doesn't easily degrade unless you do something dumb like try to deep fry in it. I wouldn't be surprised if Jack would try something that stupid.
 

Doggo

kiwifarms.net
Somehow this seems more appetizing than... the woman that I seem to remember Null doing a stream about. I can't remember her name for the life of me now, she was some UK lady who really wasn't a cow in any way, she was just a really bad cook. And I feel guilty about saying that, considering how not-cow she is. She actually seems like a really nice woman. I'll go find her and report back.

EDIT: Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZO8zs5chsA

I'd be extremely curious to see a poll about which you would prefer eating, if you had literally no other choice and you were on an island with these two. Which food would you eat? Jack's, Kay's, or yourself? Or them? There's a surprising amount of horrifying options here, which just makes me all the more curious because I'm a horrible person.
 
  • Like
Reactions: cuddle striker

Whatthefuck

kiwifarms.net
It's complete and utter Jackshit. It's actually reasonably good for even fairly high temperature frying, has a fairly high smoke point for what it is, and doesn't easily degrade unless you do something dumb like try to deep fry in it. I wouldn't be surprised if Jack would try something that stupid.
He would totally do that because his dumbass would think it makes it healthier. He's precisely that stupid. He and Hamberlynn should collab sometime and show us plebs how to cook.
 

Beluga

Your friendly neighbourhood beluga
kiwifarms.net
It's complete and utter Jackshit. It's actually reasonably good for even fairly high temperature frying, has a fairly high smoke point for what it is, and doesn't easily degrade unless you do something dumb like try to deep fry in it. I wouldn't be surprised if Jack would try something that stupid.
Isn't deep frying in olive oil extremely dangerous, too?
 

captkrisma

kiwifarms.net
"Once you cook extra virgin [olive oil], it's no longer extra virgin, it's regular olive oil. So you only use extra virgin in cold recipes." I'm no lipids expert but I don't think that's how it works.
This is bullshit on two different accounts!

1. If you're buying EVOO from Europe, it is highly regulated. It's extraction method is free from additives, solvents, or extraction methods other than cold pressing. Cooking it wouldn't change the way it was extracted.

2. If he goes the US route (which is likely since we know Jack is cheap as fuck when it comes to ingredients), the fat content after pressing is less than .8% per 100g. Cooking it won't add 1.2g of fat to the oil (which is what separates EVOO and VOO).

TL;DR: Jack doesn't know shit about olive oil or cooking.

Isn't deep frying in olive oil extremely dangerous, too?
You can deep fry with olive oil, even EVOO. I wouldn't, simply because EVOO is more expensive than other frying oils, but you can fry with it. Just don't put your fryer past 380° (I don't know why you would anyways) and you'll be good.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

About Us

The Kiwi Farms is about eccentric individuals and communities on the Internet. We call them lolcows because they can be milked for amusement or laughs. Our community is bizarrely diverse and spectators are encouraged to join the discussion.

We do not place intrusive ads, host malware, sell data, or run crypto miners with your browser. If you experience these things, you have a virus. If your malware system says otherwise, it is faulty.

Supporting the Forum

How to Help

The Kiwi Farms is constantly attacked by insane people and very expensive to run. It would not be here without community support.

We are on the Brave BAT program. Consider using Brave as your Browser. It's like Chrome but doesn't tell Google what you masturbate to.

BTC: 1EiZnCKCb6Dc4biuto2gJyivwgPRM2YMEQ
BTC+SW: bc1qwv5fzv9u6arksw6ytf79gfvce078vprtc0m55s
ETH: 0xc1071c60ae27c8cc3c834e11289205f8f9c78ca5
LTC: LcDkAj4XxtoPWP5ucw75JadMcDfurwupet
BAT: 0xc1071c60Ae27C8CC3c834E11289205f8F9C78CA5
XMR: 438fUMciiahbYemDyww6afT1atgqK3tSTX25SEmYknpmenTR6wvXDMeco1ThX2E8gBQgm9eKd1KAtEQvKzNMFrmjJJpiino