Careercow Jack Scalfani / Cooking With Jack - Youtube Celebrity "Chef" and Salmonella Survivor

Shaved Kiwis

Gran Autismo 3: A-Sped
kiwifarms.net
Jack if you are reading this I'm sorry. You were right for once about the cardboard on the pizza. Granted you still fucked up the end result, but unlike you I am compelled to correct my mistakes.

here's an old (and very cringey) CWJ video from 09 that jack put together to submit to some food network contest in hopes of landing his own show

@1:50 A lot of you have been asking me to stop eating on camera "because it's killing us, we are starving, it looks great". I don't think that's the reason.

@2:00 All you need is a horror film violin screech as the camera does an extreme close of Jack pushing a pizza into his gob.
 

Xochi

But in the stone age...!
kiwifarms.net
Just to comment since he did this: do not under any circumstances fucking heat superglue. It actually will vaporize and give off toxic gases and land on everything as a residue when heated enough.

Jack fucking poisoned himself with some nice cyanide compounds.
I feel like anyone smart enough to navigate their way to this thread and read the posts would know instinctively not to do this. Superglue... oven... y'know, it just gives off that vibe that you shouldn't do it. Like how you know not to pick and eat random flowers you find in the woods.

It's mouthbreathers like Jack who need a special burn guard on the oven who would benefit from knowing this. Well, it's too late for Jack, but maybe his slow death from superglue vapour poisoning will inform other mouthbreathers not to do the same.
 

captkrisma

kiwifarms.net
I feel like anyone smart enough to navigate their way to this thread and read the posts would know instinctively not to do this. Superglue... oven... y'know, it just gives off that vibe that you shouldn't do it. Like how you know not to pick and eat random flowers you find in the woods.

It's mouthbreathers like Jack who need a special burn guard on the oven who would benefit from knowing this. Well, it's too late for Jack, but maybe his slow death from superglue vapour poisoning will inform other mouthbreathers not to do the same.
I always tell my guys before the weekend "If you have to think if something is dumb,it is. If you're set on doing it, call me and I'll walk you through how it is a bad idea."

I'd be getting calls weekly from Jack.
 

EvilDroid64

kiwifarms.net
I feel like anyone smart enough to navigate their way to this thread and read the posts would know instinctively not to do this. Superglue... oven... y'know, it just gives off that vibe that you shouldn't do it. Like how you know not to pick and eat random flowers you find in the woods.

It's mouthbreathers like Jack who need a special burn guard on the oven who would benefit from knowing this. Well, it's too late for Jack, but maybe his slow death from superglue vapour poisoning will inform other mouthbreathers not to do the same.
It’s people like Jack that are the reason there are stupid warnings on food. Frozen pizzas often say “Do not eat pizza without cooking.” The problem is that braindead, fat slobs like Jack are often too eager to eat the food to consider even the most basic things like this.
 

irishAzoth

10.76420,79.84092
kiwifarms.net

"whAT's Up Food jACKS?"
"Cram it up the bird."
"I don't like how I have to heat this up slowly. You can't just go up to 450 degrees." This guy is so impatient.
"I think I'm going to have to have Tammy glue this down." Yeah, glue metal to metal and throw it into a 350 degree oven, sounds good.
Holy fuck he used superglue, wtf.
He complains about how hard it is to place the chicken on top of the hot salt cone. I'm sure it's not that hard if you have two arms.
Jack is truly an idiot he is actually going to throw away probably a years worth of himalayan pink salt
I get that the product is busted but at least keep the cone, break it up and you at least have some salt you can put on your food
 

RodDangerous

kiwifarms.net

At 3:16 Jack films a man sitting next to a fryer. The man and woman at the station remark on his health and appearance.

“You look a lot better than you did last year.”

“Yeah, last year I was stumblin’. I was on the cane. It was a rough year for me. So, but it’s been a lot-a healin’. Praise the Lord for that!”

Jack’s healing, folks. Disregard what you saw in Charles’ video that was posted to Fish Hook. The four or five second shot of Jack literally stumbling across an open area must have been a one-time misstep that we’ve taken out of context.

Cut to 3:54 and Jack is eye-fucking more deep fryers. Semper fudge, Jack.
 

Charlie Delicious

kiwifarms.net
Jack if you are reading this I'm sorry. You were right for once about the cardboard on the pizza. Granted you still fucked up the end result, but unlike you I am compelled to correct my mistakes.



@1:50 A lot of you have been asking me to stop eating on camera "because it's killing us, we are starving, it looks great". I don't think that's the reason.

@2:00 All you need is a horror film violin screech as the camera does an extreme close of Jack pushing a pizza into his gob.
He may be suburban christian trash, but at least he used to be high energy suburban christian trash.
 

JackDavis

kiwifarms.net

At 3:16 Jack films a man sitting next to a fryer. The man and woman at the station remark on his health and appearance.




Jack’s healing, folks. Disregard what you saw in Charles’ video that was posted to Fish Hook. The four or five second shot of Jack literally stumbling across an open area must have been a one-time misstep that we’ve taken out of context.

Cut to 3:54 and Jack is eye-fucking more deep fryers. Semper fudge, Jack.
Hahaha he starts off with being kinda annoyed they were scheduled to start eating at 6pm, but it's 5:45 right now and the food isn't ready yet!!
"London, Ontario!" "You guys never knew there was another London, did you!" - No Jack, I did know. I'm not from a flyover state.
"Oh! It's a [live] chicken over there! Now I'm hungry!" - The wendigo inside craves raw meat.
"If you're health conscious they got that here too. They got cucumber salad, chicken, frog legs and hushpuppies."
To a girl battering up some chicken: "You're doing great at that! I couldn't do that!" No shit, she has two arms.
There was a whole hog roast. Here's Jack trying to eat all membrane and gristle.
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After unsuccessfully trying to eat this, by reflex he starts trying to swallow the bone.

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He finally gets it!

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She does the tongue thing too!

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She getting THICC! Jack Jr. about to get himself a Tammy soon. Both arms aren't working properly either, she's gonna fit right in with the family!

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First-person perspective of Jack trying to find his penis.

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End of the video is Jack laughing at other's misfortunes for wasting money on 4th of July fireworks (because it's raining). Tammy says they'll just use them the next day and Jack sarcastically talks about July 5th parties, like it's a dumb idea. In the same video he recorded a July 3rd party, so there's that.
 
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