Careercow Jack Scalfani / Cooking With Jack - Youtube Celebrity "Chef" and Salmonella Survivor; 2 Strokes and counting

EvilDroid64

kiwifarms.net
The videos are not being uploaded in the order they were recorded. He starts the most recent video by sperging out about the hat he's been wearing for a few videos now, and he has his wedding ring on. In his recent livestream, he's got that Tennessee Volunteers silicone ring.
 
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Scented Candle

Tying The Knot With My Dog
kiwifarms.net

This video is shit. His videos have become completely worthless content.

Goes on a rant about too much sugar in food.
"It's 'Two Good' Greek Yogurt. Guarantees 2g of sugar in EVERY single greek yogurt!" The way his mushbrain phrased that makes it seem like sugar is a good thing and you're guaranteed at least 2g of it in every serving.
"I grabbed one of every flavor, and I'm not sure if I had every one of them, probably not because they make so many of them." Uh that sentence had 3 parts and each part contradicted the part before it.
"Greek yogurt has a dryness to it. It's a wet product but it's dry tasting. It's not as wet as regular yogurt." Oh boy. What are you on about?
"If you're looking for something to throw fruit in, this is the one." Yes I buy low sugar yogurt so I can throw sugar in it.
*Yogurt barely touches his tongue* MMMM!!!
"You might want to add a few drops of your artificial sweetener in." NO!
View attachment 908882
My god it's almost normal looking here! Hand still looks like Eric the Midget's lobster claws but at least it's not completely useless.
"I was pouring out the water in the sink, there's water that collects at the top like sour cream. So I'm dumping the water and the whole thing fell out." You dummy, for one it's called whey and two just stir it up. It'll be good exercise for your bad arm.
"I thought it was too good to be true!" "Unbelievable! That's just Two Good!" This dude completely fell for the marketing.
"Greek yogurt has a dryness to it. It's a wet product but it's dry tasting. It's not as wet as regular yogurt."
"I was dumping out the water from the yogurt"

He drains the whey out of the yogurt instead of mixing it so he thinks its thick jesus fucking christ
 

FemalePresident

In office.
kiwifarms.net
"Greek yogurt has a dryness to it. It's a wet product but it's dry tasting. It's not as wet as regular yogurt."
"I was dumping out the water from the yogurt"

He drains the whey out of the yogurt instead of mixing it so he thinks its thick jesus fucking christ
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Holy shit. Looks like half of his face is about to get paralyzed.
 

JackDavis

kiwifarms.net
nah i don't think jack's a pedo. he's just a 50 something year old man who thinks he's still 20
I agree. I really doubt someone in his physical condition and on the same medications has any sort of sex drive whatsoever. He's like DSP still clinging onto his youth, wearing video game tshirts and children's hats. At least Jack has come to terms with his hair loss.

Holy shit. Looks like half of his face is about to get paralyzed.
Yeah I've noticed this too. He's got a little bit of the Jim Ross bells palsy thing going on here. He's not sounding too good and I think half of his body is deteriorating faster than the other half.
 

captkrisma

kiwifarms.net
Yeah I've noticed this too. He's got a little bit of the Jim Ross bells palsy thing going on here. He's not sounding too good and I think half of his body is deteriorating faster than the other half.
Jack is the Great Value Jim Ross:

JR has a BBQ sauce that tastes ok. Jack...well...

JR is very verbose and descriptive. Jack thinks things "taste good".

JR worked his ass off to recover from Bells Palsy twice. Jack lazily drags his arm across things.
 

EvilDroid64

kiwifarms.net
Jack is the Great Value Jim Ross:

JR has a BBQ sauce that tastes ok. Jack...well...

JR is very verbose and descriptive. Jack thinks things "taste good".

JR worked his ass off to recover from Bells Palsy twice. Jack lazily drags his arm across things.
JR is loved by millions, and few truly dislike him. Jack is hated by a sizable portion of his audience.

JR has always loved the Sooners and will always be a fan. Jack bandwagons teams around him and probably doesn't even follow the teams he claims to like.

JR is widely thought to be the greatest wrestling commentator of all time. Jack is widely thought to be the worst cook on YouTube.
 

desu91

fuck your dopamine receptors
kiwifarms.net
"Greek yogurt has a dryness to it. It's a wet product but it's dry tasting. It's not as wet as regular yogurt."
Everytime Jack uses the term "wet" to describe his food, it makes me physically shudder. I remember one other Kiwi picked it up and stated how it's so odd that Jack constantly uses "wet". "Meat is wet, chicken is wet" etc. Yuck.
 

Gladatha

kiwifarms.net
So Binging with Babish just released this video about pan pizza...


Please enjoy this direct, yet stark, comparison:


Jack buys his dough and sauce, doesn't let his dough rest, uses far too much dough (which he complains about), cuts his toppings so that they are ginormous, basically deep fries it in oil, it's obviously undercooked and wonders where he fucked it up.

To his credit he does make it again with smaller toppings and it seems slightly more successful.
 

ObeseScreamingBlackMan

[SCREAMS IN FENTANYL]
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I wonder how much food the Scalfani family throws out on a weekly basis.

They apparently get their actual sustenance from eating out every day. Everything Jack cooks is inedible shit. I'm sure their weekly food waste of failed cooking and shit that went bad because it sat instead of getting used is enough to feed a small third-world country.

Inb4 'donations to the homeless' memes, etc.
 

Dannyboy

kiwifarms.net
So Binging with Babish just released this video about pan pizza...


Please enjoy this direct, yet stark, comparison:


Jack buys his dough and sauce, doesn't let his dough rest, uses far too much dough (which he complains about), cuts his toppings so that they are ginormous, basically deep fries it in oil, it's obviously undercooked and wonders where he fucked it up.

To his credit he does make it again with smaller toppings and it seems slightly more successful.
Jack's pizza finesse really shines here, can't wait until we get to Pizza Wars!
 
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