Careercow Jack Scalfani / Cooking With Jack - Youtube Celebrity "Chef" and Salmonella Survivor

Adamska

Last Gunman
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Jack would somehow cook pizza so that the crust was raw and bloody inside and gave you salmonella.
I've seen him cook pizzas; he doesn't stretch out the dough or make a deep dish design (literally just pull the dough to the lid and then fill as needed), and pulls it out the moment it starts browning because he apparently LIKES eating raw dough given how often he bitches about burned crusts (IE ones that are dark in some spots and are completely done).
 

Xochi

Tranarchist communatrix
kiwifarms.net
I've seen him cook pizzas; he doesn't stretch out the dough or make a deep dish design (literally just pull the dough to the lid and then fill as needed), and pulls it out the moment it starts browning because he apparently LIKES eating raw dough given how often he bitches about burned crusts (IE ones that are dark in some spots and are completely done).
Puuuuuuke. Just the thought of undercooked pizza dough makes me feel sick. I bet he doesn't even let the cheese fully melt.

Maybe chewing a crispy pizza crust is too much of a challenge for Jack's stroked-out jaw.
 

Paleololicon

kiwifarms.net
Puuuuuuke. Just the thought of undercooked pizza dough makes me feel sick. I bet he doesn't even let the cheese fully melt.

Maybe chewing a crispy pizza crust is too much of a challenge for Jack's stroked-out jaw.
It was worse; cheese was burnt, dough was raw.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Adamska

Man vs persistent rat

A good egg is a nice person
kiwifarms.net
Of all the things Jack could fuck up, it's the one food item that people constantly wish their oven had a higher max temperature to cook. Is he using a Saturn V rocket/cooking for ages on low heat or something, these things can resist 600 c+ temps if you do something as basic as "remove it from the oven before it turns black".

I am beginning to wonder whether he just uses the same temp for everything, because his stroked out brain can't remember what item requires what heat. I could see him thinking 250 f is standard enough to cook everything if you leave it in long enough (which he usually doesn't).
 
Last edited:

Aaway

kiwifarms.net
Puuuuuuke. Just the thought of undercooked pizza dough makes me feel sick. I bet he doesn't even let the cheese fully melt.

Maybe chewing a crispy pizza crust is too much of a challenge for Jack's stroked-out jaw.
i remember in his CA pizza wars he'd always call out places for having "burnt" or "dry" crusts. of course he's too stupid to realize places that pizzas cooked in a brick oven are going to have darker, crispier crusts (the best.) j

its pizza crust jack, you really want it to be wet and doughy? clearly he also likes his pizza crust raw
 

Xochi

Tranarchist communatrix
kiwifarms.net
i remember in his CA pizza wars he'd always call out places for having "burnt" or "dry" crusts. of course he's too stupid to realize places that pizzas cooked in a brick oven are going to have darker, crispier crusts (the best.) j

its pizza crust jack, you really want it to be wet and doughy? clearly he also likes his pizza crust raw
He likes everything to go in raw. His burgers, his pizzas, his homosexual lovers...
 

WarJams

kiwifarms.net
i remember in his CA pizza wars he'd always call out places for having "burnt" or "dry" crusts. of course he's too stupid to realize places that pizzas cooked in a brick oven are going to have darker, crispier crusts (the best.) j

its pizza crust jack, you really want it to be wet and doughy? clearly he also likes his pizza crust raw
Crust is just the delivery mechanism to locomote the pizza to your mouth, with the bonus of it being edible. I don't see why some people get so buttmad and judgmental about it. Bitching about pizza crust is as senseless as bitching about not using the "proper" fork for your oysters. If you don't like the crust, you can just elect not to eat it, as long as the rest of the pizza is still good.
 

Xochi

Tranarchist communatrix
kiwifarms.net
Crust is just the delivery mechanism to locomote the pizza to your mouth
This is a shitty opinion. If the crust is undercooked I'm just supposed to sigh, grab a spoon and eat the toppings like some kind of weird cheesy salad? The crust is essential to the texture.

Fair enough if Jack likes eating dough that's so raw the yeast is still alive, but it's weird that he judges the pies at established pizza restaurants based on this preference when the overwhelming majority of people prefer a crispy crust.
 
Last edited:

captkrisma

kiwifarms.net
Pizza is a sum of it's parts and it can consist of pretty much anything as a topping. A good series to watch is "Really Dough?" They go over odd pizzas from across the US like mustard pies, doughnut pizzas, hawaiian poke, etc.

As for Jack's Pizza Wars, remember that he wants someone to totally sponsor the tour. He wants to gorge himself with pizza while the sponsor doesn't see a fucking dime after it's all said and done. Do you really think Jumbo and Delicious had a boost in sales after Burger Wars? Highly doubtful. It's going to be the same with pizza.
 

Scented Candle

Tying The Knot With My Dog
kiwifarms.net
Crust is just the delivery mechanism to locomote the pizza to your mouth, with the bonus of it being edible. I don't see why some people get so buttmad and judgmental about it. Bitching about pizza crust is as senseless as bitching about not using the "proper" fork for your oysters. If you don't like the crust, you can just elect not to eat it, as long as the rest of the pizza is still good.
Crust is free bread sticks
 

NeckyTheThumb

Why is this site so slow?
kiwifarms.net
Crust is just the delivery mechanism to locomote the pizza to your mouth, with the bonus of it being edible. I don't see why some people get so buttmad and judgmental about it. Bitching about pizza crust is as senseless as bitching about not using the "proper" fork for your oysters. If you don't like the crust, you can just elect not to eat it, as long as the rest of the pizza is still good.
That's like saying the bread is used to get the sandwich filling into your mouth and then should be thrown away. I get what your saying and it is hard to explain.

It's like the crust doesn't serve much purpose other than to give you something to hold (unless stuffed), and doesn't have much flavour on it's own. So if you don't like eating plain crust you can leave it.

i eat mine with a knife and fork, where's those islamic ratings?
 

Adamska

Last Gunman
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Crust is just the delivery mechanism to locomote the pizza to your mouth, with the bonus of it being edible. I don't see why some people get so buttmad and judgmental about it. Bitching about pizza crust is as senseless as bitching about not using the "proper" fork for your oysters. If you don't like the crust, you can just elect not to eat it, as long as the rest of the pizza is still good.
Pretty sure you're thinking of macaroni chief.

Pizza crust is as important to the pizza as the rest of its components, maybe even the most since a bad dough can seriously effect texture and flavor since it's your bedrock to put the other items in it. You're basically doing the equivalent of saying a shepherd's pie doesn't need the mash, or that fried chicken doesn't need a breading of some sort.
 

About Us

The Kiwi Farms is about eccentric individuals and communities on the Internet. We call them lolcows because they can be milked for amusement or laughs. Our community is bizarrely diverse and spectators are encouraged to join the discussion.

We do not place intrusive ads, host malware, sell data, or run crypto miners with your browser. If you experience these things, you have a virus. If your malware system says otherwise, it is faulty.

Supporting the Forum

How to Help

The Kiwi Farms is constantly attacked by insane people and very expensive to run. It would not be here without community support.

BTC: 1DgS5RfHw7xA82Yxa5BtgZL65ngwSk6bmm
ETH: 0xc1071c60Ae27C8CC3c834E11289205f8F9C78CA5
BAT: 0xc1071c60Ae27C8CC3c834E11289205f8F9C78CA5
LTC: LSZsFCLUreXAZ9oyc9JRUiRwbhkLCsFi4q
XMR: 438fUMciiahbYemDyww6afT1atgqK3tSTX25SEmYknpmenTR6wvXDMeco1ThX2E8gBQgm9eKd1KAtEQvKzNMFrmjJJpiino