Careercow Jack Scalfani / Cooking With Jack - Youtube Celebrity "Chef" and Salmonella Survivor; 2 Strokes and counting

Whatthefuck

kiwifarms.net
“If all you can eat is vegetables, why be alive at all?” asked the 300-pounder.

IDK, Jack. To spend some more time with your family? Watch your kids start their own families, give you grandchildren? Watch your grandchildren grow up, go to school, become adults? If not for the family, then maybe to enjoy life a bit longer. Travel. Read. Paint. Just sit on your fucking porch and listen to the world, to the singing of birds, the honey-sweet sough of wind as it rustles through the trees. If nature’s not your thing, then maybe to see how the world changes in five years or ten years or, by god’s grace, a generation?

Then again, I imagine none of these are remotely comparable to the orgasmic feeling of pig fat dripping down your chin as you devour a rack of ribs slathered in sugary bbq sauce.
That’s a neat attitude for a super Christian. Why be alive and live the life God gave you and nurture and help the family you were blessed with thrive when there are restaurants to harass and chicken to undercook? Why not destroy the body which is a temple (that’s in the fucking Bible Jack) with garbage and having multiple strokes and salmonella bouts? Sorry, y’all. His self righteous bullshit is probably the thing I despise about him most and when I see these little quotes it makes me gnash my teeth a bit.
 

Aaway

kiwifarms.net
speaking of tammy, goddamn has she ballooned in the last year or so

i mean she was always obese too but she's definitely put on a considerable amount of weight recently
 

captkrisma

kiwifarms.net
He actually claims to have ran to get out of the rain in today's video. Of course he says yummers once too. Mushbrain also said that the cheese poppers were deep fried in marinara.
Jack mentions a high end steakhouse in the beginning of the video, Jimmy Kelly's and how they gave him a small bowl of cajun seasoning after he complained about it. I've seen Jimmy Kelly's menu and already knew what game Jack was playing. Jimmy Kelly offers a cajun seasoned ribeye at a cheaper price than their other ribeye. Jack mentions he ordered the ribeye and asked they add cajun seasoning. Why not just order the cajun seasoned steak off the menu? Jack was attempting to steal and got caught, hince him saying he'll never go back.

Screenshot_20190912-025226_Samsung Internet.jpg
 

Shaved Kiwis

Memetic Polyalloy
kiwifarms.net
He actually claims to have ran to get out of the rain in today's video. Of course he says yummers once too. Mushbrain also said that the cheese poppers were deep fried in marinara.
The only kind of straight men I can possibly envision saying yummers unironically is permafried elderly hippies.
One of his Facebook fans asked him about his diet on a ribs or ribeye poll (which did not include the actual poll functionality) post on Facebook. His response is predictable.
View attachment 932435
This is like worrying about raccoons getting in through your doggy door when one of your walls is missing. His problems isn't so much the red meat itself as how he fucking prepares it, how much he eats, and his complete lack of exercise. This living caricature isn't satisfied with half a rack of ribs slathered in sugar on top of sides and a drink. I spent Saturday morning getting really baked then swimming laps for two hours after skipping breakfast and I could barely finish a quarter rack by itself for lunch. Keep in mind I'm 6'5" (or 198cm in not American). At that point it doesn't matter what you fucking eat the sheer volume alone should kill you... I'd argue that most people could probably eat a steak a day without stroking out once as long as they didn't turn it to ash while chicken frying it and dousing it with sugar sauce. Most people also WANT to eat vegetables other than fried potatoes. Believe it or not Jack, but ramming a couple of cucumbers down your throat would actually make you LESS gay for a change.
 

Misaki Nakahara

Personally killed 18 transwomen-of-colour
kiwifarms.net
Jack mentions a high end steakhouse in the beginning of the video, Jimmy Kelly's and how they gave him a small bowl of cajun seasoning after he complained about it. I've seen Jimmy Kelly's menu and already knew what game Jack was playing. Jimmy Kelly offers a cajun seasoned ribeye at a cheaper price than their other ribeye. Jack mentions he ordered the ribeye and asked they add cajun seasoning. Why not just order the cajun seasoned steak off the menu? Jack was attempting to steal and got caught, hince him saying he'll never go back.

View attachment 933064
Does Jack keep his wallet in his left-hand pocket where he can't reach it? Why is he such a tight-ass?
 
  • Thunk-Provoking
Reactions: eatendog

Aaway

kiwifarms.net
Jack mentions a high end steakhouse in the beginning of the video, Jimmy Kelly's and how they gave him a small bowl of cajun seasoning after he complained about it. I've seen Jimmy Kelly's menu and already knew what game Jack was playing. Jimmy Kelly offers a cajun seasoned ribeye at a cheaper price than their other ribeye. Jack mentions he ordered the ribeye and asked they add cajun seasoning. Why not just order the cajun seasoned steak off the menu? Jack was attempting to steal and got caught, hince him saying he'll never go back.

View attachment 933064
yeah this is prime jack

try to scam a restaurant, get caught, and then complain about said restaurant. but if the cajun ribeye is cheaper than the regular i wonder why he wouldn't just order that in the first place? i'm gonna assume he didn't bother to actually read the menu
 

stets

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Jimmy Kelly offers a cajun seasoned ribeye at a cheaper price than their other ribeye. Jack mentions he ordered the ribeye and asked they add cajun seasoning. Why not just order the cajun seasoned steak off the menu? Jack was attempting to steal and got caught, hince him saying he'll never go back.
I don’t get it. If the Cajun ribeye is cheaper, and he orders the more expensive steak and asks for Cajun seasoning, how is that stealing?
 
  • Thunk-Provoking
Reactions: BOLDYSPICY!

captkrisma

kiwifarms.net
I don’t get it. If the Cajun ribeye is cheaper, and he orders the more expensive steak and asks for Cajun seasoning, how is that stealing?
Simple. When the check comes, he says he ordered the cajun seasoned steak instead of the more expensive one. The steak is gone, so what evidence do you have other than some cajun seasoning on the plate? Throw a fit until a manager rings it up as the cajun steak or comps his meal.
 

Misaki Nakahara

Personally killed 18 transwomen-of-colour
kiwifarms.net
Simple. When the check comes, he says he ordered the cajun seasoned steak instead of the more expensive one. The steak is gone, so what evidence do you have other than some cajun seasoning on the plate? Throw a fit until a manager rings it up as the cajun steak or comps his meal.
Why does Jack proclaim to be Christian when it's plainly obvious what his true alignment is? Only der Juden could come up with such a duplicitous ruse.
 

Misaki Nakahara

Personally killed 18 transwomen-of-colour
kiwifarms.net
View attachment 933457

Chef Mayo has been pleased by your offering.
I have no definite proof, but you just KNOW Jack dipped those breaded chunks of whatever in the salad dressing, ate the cheese and left all of the greens. Ya just know it.

Aunt Myrna's Party Cheese Salad is featured in #4 of this "paranormal video" countdown

>26 views
>no subscribers

How the fuck did you find this? The idea of Aunt Myrna being some kind of paranormal entity possessing Jack is hilarious.

AUNT MYRNA IS DISPLEASED WITH YOUR INSUFFICIENT CALORIC OFFERING. AS PENANCE YOU WILL CONSUME CHEESY PINEAPPLE CREAM SLABS
 

saralovesjuicyfruit

kiwifarms.net
I have no definite proof, but you just KNOW Jack dipped those breaded chunks of whatever in the salad dressing, ate the cheese and left all of the greens. Ya just know it.



>26 views
>no subscribers

How the fuck did you find this? The idea of Aunt Myrna being some kind of paranormal entity possessing Jack is hilarious.

AUNT MYRNA IS DISPLEASED WITH YOUR INSUFFICIENT CALORIC OFFERING. AS PENANCE YOU WILL CONSUME CHEESY PINEAPPLE CREAM SLABS

The person who made it linked it in a Discord server I'm also in, I had to share it with you all after I saw