Careercow Jack Scalfani / Cooking With Jack - Youtube Celebrity "Chef" and Salmonella Survivor; 2 Strokes and counting

RomanesEuntDomus

May contain nuts.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Jack's insightful review of the pork chop: "Not bad. Not bad."
Jack is a self-styled cooking pro and his expert opinion is pretty much what I would expect an alien in disguise to blabber out, desperately trying not to blow its cover.
"This animal-meat-sustenance for 100 US cents is edible. I can consume it with ease, but without much enthusiasm. If you have a family union with not yet fully developed individuals at your domicile, that demand a more varied asortment of nutrients, you can purchase this and charr it on domesticated fire or an electric heating unit. Pay close attention to receive this animal-meat-sustenance with the correct light-refraction-characteristics."

I mean, all joking aside, this video proves two things:
For one, Jack can't review for shit and for the other, he's really got a low threshold for what he eats and drinks...
 

JackDavis

kiwifarms.net

Some more Keto-friendly food tasting. The Spicy BBQ Glazed Chicken Tenders.
1570286704890.png

There's the receipt. They're hiding food. There's no way there isn't another receipt with cookies and mcflurries on it because there's no way 700 lbs of human walk into a McDonalds and only gets 4 chicken tenders.
"It's weird. We came in and ordered one thing. I take one bite and that's it!" Okay sure.

1570286879352.png

That's one shiny dome.

Jack's review of the chicken tenders: "Um. The sauce is good. It's not the best sauce."
"I do recommend these, and I might take these home and have it for lunch tomorrow." Okay sure.
 

Aaway

kiwifarms.net
I thought it was a Wolfe pit YouTube episode and clicked on it by accident as the wolf pit describes the dollar tree as his 'playground'. Thing is, that guy, even with his fucked up body, is still a better cook than Scalfani. He does irony reviews and then does his real cooking videos.
wolfe pit reviewed the $1 steaks a few years back and he couldn't take more than a couple bites. which is pretty much what all the other reviews i watched were like

jack, meanwhile, ate the entire thing rare and said he couldn't wait to go back to the store and buy more
 

SmileyTimeDayCare

kiwifarms.net
wolfe pit reviewed the $1 steaks a few years back and he couldn't take more than a couple bites. which is pretty much what all the other reviews i watched were like

jack, meanwhile, ate the entire thing rare and said he couldn't wait to go back to the store and buy more
I remember that WP episode. He was repulsed. Jack eats this with a smile but bitches about great ribs that are too expensive. This proves without a doubt that Jack doesn't know or care about quality just price.

The funniest part is that WP guy actually gets paid for reviews and is sponsored by a grill company right now. Oh that and he can actually make brisket even though it seems whatever disease he has is progressing.

I will actually feel bad when the day comes that WP stops being made. I'll miss updates to this thread more than I'll miss Jack's content when he croaks or strokes hard enough to veg.
 

Adamska

Last Gunman
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net

Some more Keto-friendly food tasting. The Spicy BBQ Glazed Chicken Tenders.
View attachment 960140
There's the receipt. They're hiding food. There's no way there isn't another receipt with cookies and mcflurries on it because there's no way 700 lbs of human walk into a McDonalds and only gets 4 chicken tenders.
"It's weird. We came in and ordered one thing. I take one bite and that's it!" Okay sure.

View attachment 960142
That's one shiny dome.

Jack's review of the chicken tenders: "Um. The sauce is good. It's not the best sauce."
"I do recommend these, and I might take these home and have it for lunch tomorrow." Okay sure.
I've had these, and for those curious on what a person who has a semi-functional palate has to say about these, they're not that great. Oh, sure, the glaze is actually pretty good for a fast food joint (though pretty damn sugary tbf), but McDickholes tends to use the shittier cuts of chicken they can't use for their buttermilk artisanal shit for it so you get a higher rate of stringy bullshit.

It ain't really worth it given their price tag tbh. I mean, for a gimmick it's not bad, and if they used a more consistent cut it'd be about there. But they don't so it's just fat Jack sperging about the glaze that probably drowned out the texture for him given how low his standards are due to gluttony.

And yeah, the chops he bought are ass; they could be a way to make a loose sandwich but no. Just get a normal one from the shop.
 

AnOminous

I'm not mad at anyone, honest.
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
Oh, sure, the glaze is actually pretty good for a fast food joint (though pretty damn sugary tbf), but McDickholes tends to use the shittier cuts of chicken they can't use for their buttermilk artisanal shit for it so you get a higher rate of stringy bullshit.
They always do this and ridiculously it's with these dumb special edition things that they jack up the price for. For shitty chicken. Don't pay for these things, they're not worth it. If you want cheap chicken that's actually good just get the dollar McChicken, easily the best value on the menu.

I frankly don't like their artisan chicken sandwiches either, their buttermilk fried chicken is incredibly unhealthy even as such fast food fare goes, often having something like 2-3 times your daily amount of sodium in one fucking sandwich, and these also should be avoided. The non-fried artisan bullshit chicken is somehow rubbery.

About once a year I'll make the mistake of buying one of these things and being completely disappointed. The McChicken is the only thing worth buying and the only other decent chicken sandwiches are some version of the McChicken with the price jacked up and some bullshit topping which isn't worth the increased price.

Anyway Jack is no reviewbrah.
 

captkrisma

kiwifarms.net
Jack won't colab with anyone that has less than 2000 subs because it Jack's eyes at that point "you're taking this seriously". That's why Jack never colabs with anyone...he has tighter rules than YouTube itself.
 
Last edited:

Adamska

Last Gunman
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Jack won't colab with anyone that has less than 2000 subs because it Jack's eyes at that point "you're taking this seriously". That's why Jack never colabs with anyone...he has tighter rules than YouTube itself.
Man, I guess Charles being more liked than him really got under his edema riddled skin huh?
 

AngeloTheWizard

Bringer of amusing Let's Sperg threads
kiwifarms.net
Jack is a self-styled cooking pro and his expert opinion is pretty much what I would expect an alien in disguise to blabber out, desperately trying not to blow its cover.
"This animal-meat-sustenance for 100 US cents is edible. I can consume it with ease, but without much enthusiasm. If you have a family union with not yet fully developed individuals at your domicile, that demand a more varied asortment of nutrients, you can purchase this and charr it on domesticated fire or an electric heating unit. Pay close attention to receive this animal-meat-sustenance with the correct light-refraction-characteristics."

I mean, all joking aside, this video proves two things:
For one, Jack can't review for shit and for the other, he's really got a low threshold for what he eats and drinks...
"Secret alien reviews" sounds like it could be hilarious for at least a few episodes. "This sugary concoction referred to by locals as 'Mountain Dew' is very pleasing to my tastebuds. As many refer to it as Gamer Fuel, I can only assume that these 'gamers' are some sort of construct that require sugar and a vague citrus flavor to maintain power!"
 

About Us

The Kiwi Farms is about eccentric individuals and communities on the Internet. We call them lolcows because they can be milked for amusement or laughs. Our community is bizarrely diverse and spectators are encouraged to join the discussion.

We do not place intrusive ads, host malware, sell data, or run crypto miners with your browser. If you experience these things, you have a virus. If your malware system says otherwise, it is faulty.

Supporting the Forum

How to Help

The Kiwi Farms is constantly attacked by insane people and very expensive to run. It would not be here without community support.

BTC: 1DgS5RfHw7xA82Yxa5BtgZL65ngwSk6bmm
ETH: 0xc1071c60Ae27C8CC3c834E11289205f8F9C78CA5
BAT: 0xc1071c60Ae27C8CC3c834E11289205f8F9C78CA5
LTC: LSZsFCLUreXAZ9oyc9JRUiRwbhkLCsFi4q
XMR: 438fUMciiahbYemDyww6afT1atgqK3tSTX25SEmYknpmenTR6wvXDMeco1ThX2E8gBQgm9eKd1KAtEQvKzNMFrmjJJpiino