Careercow Jack Scalfani / Cooking With Jack - Youtube Celebrity "Chef" and Salmonella Survivor; 2 Strokes and counting

Aaway

kiwifarms.net
If God did him a solid by keeping him from kidney stones, what is Jack's logic for why God struck him down with 2 strokes?
he's suffered from kidney stones too. had surgery to remove them a few years back that required an extended hospital stay if i remember correctly

that, on top of the two strokes, diabetes, and the fact that he continues to eat nothing but garbage makes him being alive quite the accomplishment

also, here's the new CWJ video. jack reviews low carb foods but says he can't review two of them because they spoiled after they sat in his kitchen too long
 
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Misaki Nakahara

I ate Party Cheese Salad and lived
kiwifarms.net
Given Jack's lifestyle, kidney stones would be the least of his problems. He should've taken the Lord's advice after the first stroke and changed his habits. Third time's the charm, I heard.
Maybe giving urethral birth to a rock of pure calcium would be painful enough that he'd actually think about changing his lifestyle.

:optimistic::optimistic::optimistic:
 

FemalePresident

In office.
kiwifarms.net
he's suffered from kidney stones too. had surgery to remove them a few years back that required an extended hospital stay if i remember correctly

that, on top of the two strokes, diabetes, and the fact that he continues to eat nothing but garbage makes him being alive quite the accomplishment

also, here's the new CWJ video. jack reviews low carb foods but says he can't review two of them because they spoiled after they sat in his kitchen too long
That's the worst review video I've seen in a long time.

0:42 --> what was that?
 

Whatthefuck

kiwifarms.net
The real "lazy man's lasagne" is baked ziti, which can be pretty good, with much of what is good about lasagne but not the painful, meticulous assembly process. Jack's glop is just vile, though.
How he can ruin ziti is pure Jack. It has to be the easiest lazy meal to put together that’s still good.
 
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Reactions: Cereal Killer

Aunt Myrna

Have you tried my Party Cheese Salad?
kiwifarms.net
he's suffered from kidney stones too. had surgery to remove them a few years back that required an extended hospital stay if i remember correctly

that, on top of the two strokes, diabetes, and the fact that he continues to eat nothing but garbage makes him being alive quite the accomplishment

also, here's the new CWJ video. jack reviews low carb foods but says he can't review two of them because they spoiled after they sat in his kitchen too long
A truly horrific review. Bravo, Jack.

A Summary:

Spoiled items: Somehow 2 different items went bad sitting on the counter waiting for Lazy Jack to review them. Why is he not more embarrassed about this fact? A normal person would not advertise being such a lazy piece of shit by letting food that they mean to review decay on the counter. Just don't show those items.

Caramel Cookie: "Tastes like a ball of dough. Not a fan of the cookie." 12 words is all you get. Literally spent less time on this than on the spoiled items.

Brownie: Bland, but somehow has an aftertaste that he seems very angry about.

Bread: Jack struggles mightily to understand the nuance of NET carbs. Eats the bread with "a little bit" (actually a shitload) of butter on it, because of course he does. Bread doesn't have a lot of flavor and it is tougher that regular bread. He likens the flavor to lettuce. Jack's final verdict: "Bread is good." Must have been the butter.

Cloud Cakes: Airy, sweet. No aftertaste, which greatly pleases Jack.

Blueberry Muffin: Good blueberry flavor, soft texture, not too dry, Final verdict: "Not that great." Surprise aftertaste, lotion. He says the muffin tastes like lotion.

Dressing: Predicts the dressing will be bad because it has no sugar. Pours himself a whole bowl of dressing anyway. Claims the dressing is missing something, but not sure what. Also bland.

Pasta: Noodles broke down into very small pieces. Very disappointing. Pasta has good texture but no flavor. What do you want to bet this "Italian" fuck boiled his fake pasta in unsalted water. He wouldn't like ANY pasta that isn't drowning in sugary tomato sauce.

Final, final verdict: The bread is the only good thing in the bunch. It even comes already sliced. I love you. *30 seconds of Jack's classic stolen rib image*
 
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