Careercow Jack Scalfani / Cooking With Jack - Youtube Celebrity "Chef" and Salmonella Survivor; 2 Strokes and counting

Johann Bacha Bazi

kiwifarms.net
So, this photo got me way more curious about something than it should. After some digging around, I was able to find this.

View attachment 1198954
Even in high school he was fucking idiot, just nowhere near as fat.
Dang, young Jack looked a little bit like Ron Livingston circa Office Space:
Ron Livingston Office Space.jpg

I wouldn't have guessed young Jack and current Jack were the same guy, just based on pictures alone.
 

Aunt Myrna

Have you tried my Party Cheese Salad?
kiwifarms.net
So, this photo got me way more curious about something than it should. After some digging around, I was able to find this.

View attachment 1198954
Even in high school he was fucking idiot, just nowhere near as fat.
If it wasn't for the specific radio mention and other incoherent babbling, I would have 100% thought you just found another unfortunate soul named Jack Scalfani. But alas, it's our man. Still, it's kind of hard to believe that Jack was once a normal looking, ambitious young man, full of life. Unfortunately, based on the other old pictures of him, he didn't waste much time entering into his downward spiral.

I really wonder if there was something we don't know about him that happened in his early 20's when it all started to go to shit.
 

Misaki Nakahara

Nihon Homosexuality Kyoukai
kiwifarms.net
If it wasn't for the specific radio mention and other incoherent babbling, I would have 100% thought you just found another unfortunate soul named Jack Scalfani. But alas, it's our man. Still, it's kind of hard to believe that Jack was once a normal looking, ambitious young man, full of life. Unfortunately, based on the other old pictures of him, he didn't waste much time entering into his downward spiral.

I really wonder if there was something we don't know about him that happened in his early 20's when it all started to go to shit.
Age 22: Jack Scalfani takes his first bite of Aunt Myrna's Party Cheese Salad. Five minutes later, the fire inside flickers out and dies.
 

DrunkNDoziNDragN

Dragon for hire. Accepts: Gold, Booze, Mutton.
kiwifarms.net
I bet Jack was a goofy, class clown type, not super successful but he couldn't act so he went to radio instead. He had some minor gigs and was looking forward to a future in the industry. He ate okay, not great but never anything too crazy or new. He was young, driven and ready to take on the world.

Then one day at a community bbq he tasted some guys pulled pork. He just tried it to be nice, he wasnt even sure if it had been actually cooked right but what's the worst that could happen? As he loaded his sandwich and took a bite, he felt a cold chill. Like breath going down his spine, like something was suddenly behind him, something big, something feral.

The wendigo had found its prey.
 

Adamska

Last Gunman
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I think I have it:

Jack Scalfani, finally free from momma Scalfani controlling his actions, decides to pig out at a cheap rib place. Little did he know, he offended a Cree tourist by cutting him in line and eating the last brisket. Annoyed and hungry, said Cree cursed him with his peoples' longest malevolent spirit: the Wendigo.

Or alternatively he just gained a brain parasite that induces eating.
 

Marissa Moira

kiwifarms.net
I think Jack is cut form the same cloth as Cenk. He thought himself the life of the party but everyone hated how he acted and nobody found him enjoyable or entertaining to listen to. And just like Cenk his ego couldn't cope with rejection and made bad decision after bad decision and wasted many golden opportunities.

Like Cenk made that awful decision to scoff at a million dollar offer from Sirrius XM to host the show because Cenk wanted to make money off of printing T-Shirts with the show's logo and if he signed on to Sirrius (who was offering him a million dollars) he couldn't sell merch with the logo because Sirrius would control that. So he turned a million dollar offer down for that untapped t-shirt money.

Jack probably got into cooking because he thought cooking was easy and anyone can be a chef and his superior IQ would trounce the competition.
 

Zero fks to give

kiwifarms.net
If it wasn't for the specific radio mention and other incoherent babbling, I would have 100% thought you just found another unfortunate soul named Jack Scalfani. But alas, it's our man. Still, it's kind of hard to believe that Jack was once a normal looking, ambitious young man, full of life. Unfortunately, based on the other old pictures of him, he didn't waste much time entering into his downward spiral.

I really wonder if there was something we don't know about him that happened in his early 20's when it all started to go to shit.
I think something happened to the first wife, Garret says his maternal grandparents raised him and Jack claims to have been a single dad.
 

DrunkNDoziNDragN

Dragon for hire. Accepts: Gold, Booze, Mutton.
kiwifarms.net
I think something happened to the first wife, Garret says his maternal grandparents raised him and Jack claims to have been a single dad.
Hmmmmmm... that makes me think... since jack mentioned being beaten, having ashtrays thrown at him and pushed through a shower door, he wasnt speaking about Tammy. Shes right next to him as he says this in that podcast or whatever, the same one where he talks about choking Garret (it's in Colossal is Crazys video). I'm thinking she was extremely abusive and ran off at some point which led Jack to develop a cooking habit as part of his new single dad routine, found he liked to cook and Garret liked what he cooked (being a kid and later a pothead probably helped). So he figured he would give it a shot on that youtube thing since his son could help him in that department. Time led him to develop an ego about it, as is normal for Jack and now here we are.

Wow.... I just made myself sad a little bit.
 

Aaway

kiwifarms.net
Hmmmmmm... that makes me think... since jack mentioned being beaten, having ashtrays thrown at him and pushed through a shower door, he wasnt speaking about Tammy. Shes right next to him as he says this in that podcast or whatever, the same one where he talks about choking Garret (it's in Colossal is Crazys video). I'm thinking she was extremely abusive and ran off at some point which led Jack to develop a cooking habit as part of his new single dad routine, found he liked to cook and Garret liked what he cooked (being a kid and later a pothead probably helped). So he figured he would give it a shot on that youtube thing since his son could help him in that department. Time led him to develop an ego about it, as is normal for Jack and now here we are.

Wow.... I just made myself sad a little bit.
you got the abusive wife part right. but according to jack himself, it was his brother charles that suggested he start making videos on cooking tips and posting them to youtube to promote his bbq sauce

jack created the bbq sauce because he was managing a famous chef who was looking to create a bbq sauce and ended up bailing on him, leaving jack with a ton of ingredients out of a job and had to find a way to make money. so then charles suggests the youtube videos and after a few short ones such as "how to cut an onion without crying" and "how to cut a pineapple," jack thinks to himself well shit, people are actually watching these so now i have to pretend like i know how to cook and make actual cooking videos. and thus, jack the meme was born
 

KiwiJoe

Called KiwiKike, KiwiJeff, etc. also bullied :c
kiwifarms.net
Just started the video and i love that he pulls out his specific gadget that has a yogurt button because the one he currently uses "takes extra steps."

Jack's the kind of guy to click the specific food buttons on his microwave instead of just putting in the specific time it seems.
He's Alton Brown's worst nightmare.
 

Shaved Kiwis

Memetic Polyalloy
kiwifarms.net
We still can't see the end product because of truck kun, Jack you fat turd.

This could all have been avoided if you kept comments on for feedback.
That's why I have trouble enjoying his new videos. The eldritch abortions Mr. Mushmouth squirts out can be fun to gawk at if you enjoy watching somebody fail spectacularly, but the last thing I wanna do is watch his fat face ripple for six minutes while he flaps his slacked jaw. Shit gives me acid flashbacks.
 
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