• "@sonic_hedgehog kind of uncool to fall back on memes that mock tranny people and feminism. what would eggman think?"

Careercow Jack Scalfani / Cooking With JackYoutube Celebrity "Chef" and Salmonella Survivor

Discussion in 'Lolcows' started by Gensdupays, Oct 16, 2015.

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  1. Jack of course doesn't actually read the instructions on these things and can't figure out how to work a children's toy.

    Is it any wonder that he fucked things up?
     
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    Phil Ken Sebben

    Phil Ken Sebben The Potato Whisperer.

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  2. I wonder what Jack's IQ is. Can't be any higher than 85. I also like how one of the specials in the comment section compares him to Gordon Ramsay.
     
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  3. I'm beginning to think that Jack at least has some self-awareness of how much of a moron he looks like when he does this, and is now purposely fucking up to pull in views.

    That, or he ate paint chips as a kid.
     
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    Water-T

    Water-T Let's go crunch some numbers!

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  4. I would kill for a video where Gordon Ramsay schools this fat bitch.
     
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    AnOminous

    AnOminous HO HO HO YOU HOS
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  5. Gordon Ramsay would be able to use an Easy Bake Oven.
     
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  6. I want Jack to send photos of his ribs or whatever he barbecued that night to Gordon on twitter.
     
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    Dr. Studman M.D.

    Dr. Studman M.D. We have such sights to show you.

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  7. Just been through a few of his videos for lols and just to hate something. Two things have really make me interested in Jack.

    Something that really interests me is the few videos where he seems to be running late. As in, no idea what to cook so he makes up something with leftover meat. We all know what I am talking about but:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hMWjHqan0M as an example.

    I understand how people can sometimes run off the track and perhaps not meet a deadline. But this man cooks for a living (as well as these shit fucking reviews) How the hell does he not have a schedule written down of what times he needs to make his videos and cook. Being such an autistic faggot when it comes to cooking my meal and having the right portions, It makes life so much easier as many of the fitter people will tell you to have meals planned out at the start of the week. This is his main form of income unless I am correct, which means he is likely to be around the house all fucking day. He sure as fucking shit does not work out in that time as he is the size of a fucking hippo (just at 4ft) So why would he ever be running late putting up a video? This nigga should be pumping out cooking videos left and right and actually improving on his cooking.

    Jack is a bit like a recent lolcow love to hate I have, Boogie. He is bombarded with praise from fucking idiots who think everything is just the greatest and so he does not feel the need to change anything he does and he wont until something lights a fire under his fat fucking gut to set alight the fucking mould. He also has a weird way of communication with his fans, he does not in the comments, yet responds as a collective "I know you will just love this, I have been reading the comments..."
    in his videos. Which brings up my next point

    When he does respond, its short and sometimes comes across very passive aggressive. I mean its over text so sometimes its hard to tell, but looking at previous vids like the chilli contest its fucking obvious he is a bit of a cunt irl.
     
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    Warsmith Kroeger

    Warsmith Kroeger Genocidal Astartes from the 31st millenium

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  8. Surely this is the lowest point for a chef.

    Not being able to use an easy bake oven.

    How can he fuck up anything more embarrassing than this?
    I can't wait.
     
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  9. I think he thinks that he's actually good at cooking. He was reviewing this breakfast sandwich maker and he kept saying "I don't need this. I know how to use a stove to make all of this, but maybe you do." He said it at least twice and came off as kinda boastful, like a master sushi chef reviewing an easy sushi roller mat.

    He definitely is a cunt, I mean the guy choked out his own son. I've baited some responses out of him. I told him "Stop calling us Food Jacks" to which he replied "Good thing I wasn't talking to you" which isn't really how videos work but okay then.
     
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  10. The amazing thing about this utterly incompetent lardass is he is utterly oblivious to shit he should be embarrassed as hell to put up in public, and this isn't helped by the fact he has this horde of absolute morons who somehow watch him serving raw, bleeding meat and failing to use a child's toy and think it's the best thing ever.
     
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    AnOminous

    AnOminous HO HO HO YOU HOS
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  11. Oh without a doubt he presents himself as thinking he is good at cooking, the problem is that with any trade or skill you work to improve your game so you can produce a higher quality. It does not make any sense to me unless he feels that there is nothing else he can do to improve.

    And I keep forgetting the choke out.
     
    Warsmith Kroeger

    Warsmith Kroeger Genocidal Astartes from the 31st millenium

    kiwifarms.net
  12. Looks like he went with the Yule log. Can't wait to see this trainwreck.

    20171207_175214.jpg
     
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  13. Because when your cardiovascular system and pancreas have both said fuck it and tried to self terminate you at one point or another, the best thing to bake is a massive spongecake covered in chocolate and sugar so you can shove it down your gluttonous face-hole. I honestly am impressed he isn't dead yet, especially given that I think that stroke and the beetus must be affecting his brain... seriously, my mind is full of fuck at how he was too exceptional to be able to use an Easy Bake Oven.
     
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    Adamska

    Adamska Last Gunman
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  14. At first glance, I couldn't help but think...
    meat.jpg
    Hard to tell how badly he messed up under the tidal wave of chocolate frosting.
    And I know what he's going to say. "You ready...? Mmm! It tastes so good you guys!" Well yeah, of course a mountain of sugar and chocolate and cake is going to taste good. Yule log is a technical feat--skill and presentation is important. I wouldn't even know where to begin cutting into that Pandora's box of sugar.

    Also, he couldn't slice a diagonal piece off the end, and re-attach it to the side to make it look like a branch? Or even dust it with powdered sugar? I can see a tiny sprinkle of it, but it looks accidental.

    Please forgive me sperging out over this, but it's just as bad as I thought it would be. I can't wait to watch this tragedy come to life when he uploads the video.
     
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    #1314 HenryKissiger, Dec 7, 2017 at 8:10 PM
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2017 at 8:15 PM
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  15. It's also astounding as to why he still has as many subscribers as he does with how bad his cooking is. Like he's only 50,000 subscribers behind Alex from French Guy Cooking
     
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  16. yeah he's got a ton of subs but look at how many views he gets on his videos. not very many for a channel with 332k subs

    that's something i've noticed with channels that started when youtube first started getting big. or in jack's case, his subs finally caught on to the fact that he's a god awful chef who knows nothing about food
     
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  17. This might be off topic, but why does Jack always drop articles/prepositions? It makes him sound like fucking moron.
    Why can't he say "you guys voted for me to make a yulelog," or "I'm reviewing the children's toy oven." Is it a regional thing or a mouth breather thing?
     
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  18. Pretty sure it's not meant to look like THAT kind of log.
     
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  19. Oh fuck me.... he tried to make a yule log and from not only the look of it, but his own words, it was a lot harder than he thought.

    Well you know what would have worked better? Not using canned frosting which he apparently used and actually taking a little time to make some artful squiggles on it. This is of course why you don't want to use canned frosting. And of course he probably fucked around with some instant cake mix too and didn't follow the instructions on how to bake it properly and it came out more like a cookie than a sponge cake.

    But of course he's going to say how great it tastes and the comment section will be full of people saying, "Looks great Jack!" or "Can you come to my place and make me one?" or "Can't wait to make this myself!"
     
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    Phil Ken Sebben

    Phil Ken Sebben The Potato Whisperer.

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  20. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqFt15InTZw

    Don't drink eggnog as I am not a yank, not entirely sure what is in it either. There is Alcohol in though right?
    I was always taught with alcoholic deserts like rumcake that the frosting/icing should never contain large amounts of alcohol as it will be overpowering. You want the frosting or icing to combat the powerful spirits.

    A good cook knows when to add spirits to deserts on taste, he did not even touch the batter before adding that spiced rum in, which makes me question how overpowering that shit will be, especially after adding about 25-40ml of Rum.
    Then we get to the frosting, which is another 25-40ml, that shit is going to fuck you up before you finish a slice.

    Then we get to my main concern, I found the recipe he is using, with no reference to the article he pinched it from.

    Can we see any problems here? Watch the video and read the quote . If you still don't, have a look under the video in the about section.
     
    • Informative Informative x 2
    Warsmith Kroeger

    Warsmith Kroeger Genocidal Astartes from the 31st millenium

    kiwifarms.net