Careercow Jack Scalfani / Cooking With Jack - Youtube Celebrity "Chef" and Salmonella Survivor; 2 Strokes and counting

Aaway

kiwifarms.net
the fuck is he babbling about?

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Your Local Neko Girl GF

Spooky
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Jack sounded even more retarded than usual in this one. He says it’s ironic these cookies are baked at 330 instead of the usual 350. Also his dead hand is on display a lot during this video. :cryblood:
Archive (480p):
 

JackDavis

kiwifarms.net
"You may have had these, you may not have had these." True, true.
These cookies are the kind you get at the Florida "rezzor".
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Is 10 pounds of brown sugar keto-friendly?
"I don't know if you know this, but the baking soda and the salt cause this to rise." I'll give him partial credit.
"There's a lot of flour and sugar, I mean not flour. Yeah flour and sugar. The flour is in the other bowl... Take 2" oops
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FYI - This baking mat is for macaroons, which don't spread
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So of course when you put cookies on it, it looks stupid as shit when they come out.
"They're ooey gooey right now" You're so far in the closet Jack.
He kinda insinuates that these cookies aren't bad for you because they have no white sugar, just brown and powdered sugar.
 

captkrisma

kiwifarms.net
Surprisingly, not a lot of people have ever had these cookies because The Grand Floridian resort at Disney World is one of the most expensive hotel in the park, averaging around $500 a night. But if you REALLY want to stay at the hotel that has a monorail passing through it and was the location of The Beatles officially breaking up, have at it.
 

The Cum Consumer

Gimme daddy's cummies UwU
kiwifarms.net
Is Jack a flat earther too? Anti-vax?

What the fuck does this even mean?
"Why do you think 5G is bad?" "Image is everything. Truth doesn't matter. Just look at COVID-19"
I speak fluent Retard. What he's saying is that there's a conspiracy behind 5G that the other person can't see because they believe in the "lies" that 5G is harmless. In other words, he's saying that the other person had been decieved by the appearance of 5G seeming harmless, and not objective reality. He goes on to use Coronavirus as an example of a post-truth situation where appearance takes precedence over reality.
 

Adamska

Last Gunman
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Jack sounded even more retarded than usual in this one. He says it’s ironic these cookies are baked at 330 instead of the usual 350. Also his dead hand is on display a lot during this video. :cryblood:
Since it's baking related I won't do a run-through (I'm not that good at baking since it's more exacting), but I do find it strange how autistically obsessed Fat Jack is with doing Disney shit. I guess the big fat baby is angry he can't go to the resort on his wife's money like he wants to.

Seriously, why is he trying this shit? He's not even doing what the site itself fucking releases. What a criminally unwilling to listen ape.
 

Unenthused

kiwifarms.net
Jack sounded even more retarded than usual in this one. He says it’s ironic these cookies are baked at 330 instead of the usual 350. Also his dead hand is on display a lot during this video. :cryblood:

Looks like I was late for this one! I'll just post my comments instead.

Apparently this was supposed to be a series on Disney recipes? He only did three - that's hardly a series.

"This is the last Disney recipe...I think it's chocolate chip cookies..." Wtf Jack how do you not know what you're cooking? Is it chocolate cookies or not? This tells me he didn't even practice or study this recipe - probably looked at it once and said to himself through his stuffed gob, "mmMMMyeah chocol'chip cookiesss mmm yummerssss".

Jack tells us how to mix food in a bowl with a whisk; he acts as if this is unheard of. Also his gimp limb is used as a bowl holder and it just looks awful.

Jack now tells us the wonders of leavening agents. This all seems rather redundant to tell the audience this.

LOL Jack pans the camera down so we can see him mixing the ingredients, but all it does is show of his bloated stomach and dead appendage flopping around.

"Just add the chocolate chips...[inserts a fuckton of chocolate chips]....that's a lotta chips!" Yes, I imagine it is very keto as well! I swear he seems a little excited with all the chocolate he's added.

Jesus...now I may be wrong (and I'm sure as hell not a baker), but that cookie dough/chocolate chip ratio looks really unbalanced? I hesitate to critique Jack in these regards because I'm not much of a cook myself, but it just looks wrong. He can't even scoop it any sense.

Cut to the finished product, and they look pretty bad. Barley any cookie, shit-ton of chocolate and the cookie itself is fucking tiny. Pretty piss poor, Jack.

Scalfani proceeds to explain how he gets these primal urges to tell people to fuck off from 'his' food when he's eating. Could this be the Wendigo's doing? Yes, it is.

Jack takes a bite from his keto kookies and cums his pants on camera.

"Notice...how there is no white sugar? [Only] powdered sugar and brown sugar!" Is that his reasoning to prove these cookies are healthy? Okay Jack, if you want to play that way, how about the sugar used in the manufacturing of those chocolate chips? You sure added a lot of those!

Jack proceeds to jerk himself off (metaphorically) about his cookies; "[These are] Home runs...Disney's got it all over me, man (LOL I bet that's not the only thing you want him to put all over you, is it Jack?)...they taste like a professional store-bought cookie".

Pretty appropriate end to the Disney Recipe series tbh: it was short, mundane, and trivial. I'm left wondering to myself whether or not he ate all those cookies himself - I think we all know the answer.



Anyone know what the next vid topic is? I hope it's something with a little more depth; his recent Disney vids are a little lacking when it comes to Jack's jackass-ery
 

stets

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Since it's baking related I won't do a run-through (I'm not that good at baking since it's more exacting), but I do find it strange how autistically obsessed Fat Jack is with doing Disney shit. I guess the big fat baby is angry he can't go to the resort on his wife's money like he wants to.

Disney World content does gangbusters on YouTube, so Jack is just trying to latch on to a trend. It’s yet another attempt to trick the Youtube algorithm, along with fundraisers, padding video length, releasing videos at the same time as Babish, etc. (Spoiler: This won’t work either.)

It’s ironic that Jack is unwilling to do the one thing that is both incredibly simple and will boost his engagement and ultimate reach almost immediately - turning on likes and comments. He’s trying to find every hack and cheat imaginable to make up for it, but none of them will be successful. The only things that will potentially stop the atrophy are reactivating likes and comments or a full blown stroke on his livestream.
 
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