Careercow Jack Scalfani / Cooking With Jack - Youtube Celebrity "Chef" and Salmonella Survivor; 2 Strokes and counting

Stroke 3 when? As of May 2021

  • Within the next 3 months

    Votes: 40 13.2%
  • 3-6 months

    Votes: 41 13.6%
  • 6 months - 1 Year

    Votes: 71 23.5%
  • 1-2 Years

    Votes: 38 12.6%
  • 3+ Years

    Votes: 11 3.6%
  • Never

    Votes: 6 2.0%
  • The next big health scare will be something else

    Votes: 142 47.0%

  • Total voters
    302

Coach McGuirk

Alcoholic Soccer Coach
kiwifarms.net
My body is a temple, but Jesus definitely went into the temple and flipped a bunch of shit over.
Jesus has been trying to stop him for years, from strokes, kidney stones, dead arms, and broken feet. Either God is trying to send a message, or he's somehow the modern day Job story (Job being a biblical character). But I assume that would involve less complaining.
 

Murmur

Uncouth Twat
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net

I see your Jack holding a dick picture and I raise you:
jacktwoforone.png
 

Super Hans

kiwifarms.net
Jesus has been trying to stop him for years, from strokes, kidney stones, dead arms, and broken feet. Either God is trying to send a message, or he's somehow the modern day Job story (Job being a biblical character). But I assume that would involve less complaining.

Jack is an almost complete inverse of the Job story. Job stayed true and loyal to God in spite of all the shit he did to him, but Jack says he believes in God as a Pascal's Wager to possibly save himself from all the problems he self-inflicts. If Jack didn't say that he was a Christian, nobody could guess that he was through the actions he does. Other than going to church, I guess, but my bet would be he goes for the free coffee and donuts after the service.
 

AnOminous

each malted milk ball might be their last
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
Jack is an almost complete inverse of the Job story. Job stayed true and loyal to God in spite of all the shit he did to him, but Jack says he believes in God as a Pascal's Wager to possibly save himself from all the problems he self-inflicts. If Jack didn't say that he was a Christian, nobody could guess that he was through the actions he does. Other than going to church, I guess, but my bet would be he goes for the free coffee and donuts after the service.

And he picked a church of evil run by a psycho who murdered someone, almost certainly as a sacrifice to his true master, Beelzebub.
 

Murmur

Uncouth Twat
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Jack is an almost complete inverse of the Job story. Job stayed true and loyal to God in spite of all the shit he did to him, but Jack says he believes in God as a Pascal's Wager to possibly save himself from all the problems he self-inflicts. If Jack didn't say that he was a Christian, nobody could guess that he was through the actions he does. Other than going to church, I guess, but my bet would be he goes for the free coffee and donuts after the service.

Jack is so far removed from Job that he doesn't even have one!

(Yes I know that's not how it's pronounced).
 

Buster O'Keefe

Enjoys offal
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
The subject of Jack's literacy comes up at least 3 times: at around 33 minutes he talks about his favourite book Anything You Want by Derek Sivers and states that he 'listened to it'. Later he mentions a Betty Crocker cook book that he keeps wrapped in plastic? and towards the end explains he listens to audiobooks on his porch. Conclusion: Jack doesn't like reading.
 

ConsoleWarVet

Auditioning for Sock Commercials
kiwifarms.net
The subject of Jack's literacy comes up at least 3 times: at around 33 minutes he talks about his favourite book Anything You Want by Derek Sivers and states that he 'listened to it'. Later he mentions a Betty Crocker cook book that he keeps wrapped in plastic? and towards the end explains he listens to audiobooks on his porch. Conclusion: Jack doesn't like reading.
Turning pages with his one good hand would take time away from shoveling food into his face.
 

Gaius Caesar

kiwifarms.net
And he picked a church of evil run by a psycho who murdered someone, almost certainly as a sacrifice to his true master, Beelzebub.

From their own website:

"On January 30, 1991, at the recommendation of Reverend Jackson and at the advisory council’s request, evangelist Maury Davis was invited to preach during the Wednesday night service. Four days later, on February 3, Pastor Davis gave his testimony. On this same day, the church voted and elected him as pastor.

In April 1991, just in time for Easter service, the church parking lot was paved. But in July, the church building was struck by lightning, and services were moved from the church building back to the hilltop tabernacle."

Seems like they didn't get the message.
 

Lenzperkins

kiwifarms.net
Jack is an asshole to fast food restaurant employees. He goes off on a kid because Jack doesn't know how to read a drive-thru menu. Jack Jr is a dumbass too. Like father like son. Some Christians.
Jack realizes KFC gave him the wrong order, he loses his shit and eats the food before returning it. When he gets free food, he gets so happy. Such a pathetic family.
 

boxybum

kiwifarms.net
Jack is an asshole to fast food restaurant employees. He goes off on a kid because Jack doesn't know how to read a drive-thru menu. Jack Jr is a dumbass too. Like father like son. Some Christians.
Jack realizes KFC gave him the wrong order, he loses his shit and eats the food before returning it. When he gets free food, he gets so happy. Such a pathetic family.
The good christian mask comes off as he berates fast food workers due to his inability to read a fucking menu. Even berates his own son DRINK DRINK DRINK here drink this old backwash water that has been sitting in the car.
 
Last edited:

Scented Candle

Diggy Diggy
kiwifarms.net
Jack is an asshole to fast food restaurant employees. He goes off on a kid because Jack doesn't know how to read a drive-thru menu. Jack Jr is a dumbass too. Like father like son. Some Christians.
Jack realizes KFC gave him the wrong order, he loses his shit and eats the food before returning it. When he gets free food, he gets so happy. Such a pathetic family.
Anytime I feel any kind of pity for this man I just remember this video and all of that goes out the window immediately.
 

Gaius Caesar

kiwifarms.net
The good christian mask comes off as he berates fast food workers due to his inability to read a fucking menu.

Even though I've seen this before...what a douchebag...order one "Georgia Gold" combo and one "Nashville Hot" combo with two drinks, problem solved. Not rocket science, you'll get both varieties of shitty fast food chicken, don't worry.

Most likely though, this is probably the kind of infurating situation that made "Pastor" Maury Davis nearly saw off the head of Jo Ella Lillis before his jailhouse scam "conversion".
 
Last edited:

Misaki Nakahara

I ate Party Cheese Salad and lived
kiwifarms.net
he loses his shit and eats the food before returning it. When he gets free food, he gets so happy.

Fat Jack seriously acknowledged that he had the wrong order and then ate the food anyway, even though it wasn't what he asked for? Christ. Being able to scam KFC out of extra food is probably the best thing that's happened to him all year.
 

Aaway

kiwifarms.net
Jack is an asshole to fast food restaurant employees. He goes off on a kid because Jack doesn't know how to read a drive-thru menu. Jack Jr is a dumbass too. Like father like son. Some Christians.
Jack realizes KFC gave him the wrong order, he loses his shit and eats the food before returning it. When he gets free food, he gets so happy. Such a pathetic family.
haha

this is probably my all time favorite JOTG video
 

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