Careercow Jack Scalfani / Cooking With Jack - Youtube Celebrity "Chef" and Salmonella Survivor; 2 Strokes and counting

stupidpieceofshit

Panzer Vor, Motherfuckers
True & Honest Fan
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I'm trying to imagine a Food Network executive pitching this show: "You know how we have our kind-hearted star who raises positivity and awareness to local businesses, donates to charity and is a professional chef and restaurateur? Well, I know this mentally impaired, unemployed, hyper-critical, scooter-ridden, son-bludgeoning xenophobic guy who can't cook and harasses servers by sticking cameras in their faces. I think they'd go great together!"
Exec 1: "Hey you know what turns out we could make more money making a show that would bomb."
Exec 2: "Oh really? How could we make a show that would bomb for sure?
Exec 1: "I found this guy on Youtube, he will be perfect!"
Exec 3: "Wait...isn't that the plot to The Produc...
Exec 1: "SHUT UP!"
 

{o}P II

A man deprived of his chat
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
"I'm not promoting them..." while a banner with the McDonald's logo exclaiming "spicy nuggets are out!" is displayed during the whole video. And hasn't McDonald's put a stop to all day breakfast due to the pandemic? I know here you can only get the breakfast burritos and hotcakes after 10:30am now. So assuming that's the case, personally find it kind of gross to eat shitty spicy fast food that early.

Once I went into a Carl Jr's about 10:45am for breakfast, and heard someone in the drive thru order a spicy chicken sandwich and wondered "what kind of person orders that at this time?"

And now I know.
I fucking hate how people arbitrarily decide which foods you can and can’t eat at certain times.

if I want to have a turkey burger for breakfast it’s just as valid as having cereal.
 

For The Internet

Tits and ALL
True & Honest Fan
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Sorry if this is late but is there actual proof of Jack getting any sort of offer from Food Network, or is it just Jack lying in livestreams? I can't imagine for a second how a Food Network scout would find Jack, he only has 450k subs and he makes everything out of cans, plus his meat (the only thing he consistently cooks that doesn't come in a jar) is always undercooked so I can't see what would pique their interest. An episode of a show where he gets help from a real chef makes more sense but I still don't buy it.
 

Whatthefuck

kiwifarms.net
Nothing that says Jack's videos like them doing their signature tongue extensions to scoop in food like a chameleon.
It is an uncannily common deathfat move. All the great deathfats do it. From Chantal to Amberlynn to Jack and Tammy. I've never seen anyone else do it unless maybe they're eating noodles and even then it's not like the Alien emerged from their throat to devour the food. It's disgusting and fascinating at the same time.
 

Unenthused

kiwifarms.net
Hey guys, I've been away from this thread for a while and it seems I missed a lot of shit. Anyone mind giving me a quick rundown of anything that happened recently? Any word of him making a vid of Jack Jr.'s wedding?
 
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Aaway

kiwifarms.net
Sorry if this is late but is there actual proof of Jack getting any sort of offer from Food Network, or is it just Jack lying in livestreams? I can't imagine for a second how a Food Network scout would find Jack, he only has 450k subs and he makes everything out of cans, plus his meat (the only thing he consistently cooks that doesn't come in a jar) is always undercooked so I can't see what would pique their interest. An episode of a show where he gets help from a real chef makes more sense but I still don't buy it.
some food network rep left a comment on one of his instagram posts to contact them
 

Free the Pedos

What the fuck's a washing machine doing in a pub?
kiwifarms.net
what?


what?!

When did I ever give the impression that I thought eating meat for breakfast was a good idea. In fact, I'm pretty sure I directly implied the opposite.
[stress sigh]
You said there are certain types of breakfast foods, ie easily digested carbs, but there are many traditional breakfast foods that don’t fit that criteria and people still enjoy and function well on.
 

Phil Ken Sebben

The Potato Whisperer.
kiwifarms.net
The excitement in his voice while pulling up. The smile on his face. He's as excited as a child on Christmas.
View attachment 1595924
He's like a fucking child with these things. Can't wait to stuff them down his throat. It's like food is the only thing that gives him pleasure.

That's revolting for so many reasons.
 
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Rabid Weasels

Schadenfreude Junkie
kiwifarms.net
It is an uncannily common deathfat move. All the great deathfats do it. From Chantal to Amberlynn to Jack and Tammy. I've never seen anyone else do it unless maybe they're eating noodles and even then it's not like the Alien emerged from their throat to devour the food. It's disgusting and fascinating at the same time.
I wonder if the reason for this is that when you're really large, it becomes physically difficult for you to move your body toward the food, either because your gut is in the way or just general reduced range of motion or both. And so they subconsciously compensate for that with the tongue move. I'm not sure if its typical to keep your head more aligned with your plate to stop drips on the table or your shirt? Im always concerned with spilling shit on myself. I dont notice how most people eat i guess, maybe ill start now.
 

Adamska

Last Gunman
True & Honest Fan
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SPICY NUGGETS!!!11
View attachment 1595916View attachment 1595928
Archive of McDonald's Spicy Nuggets Are out! (review) •Sep 14, 2020
View attachment 1595938
Yet more proof that Jack is an emotional child whose parents should have forced him to grow up more. Oh wait, I forgot, he was a cheating baby with the milkman. Seriously, what sad bastard loses their minds over spicy nuggies that aren't a kid?

Shit, if they're anything like Wendy's, they're just okay. SAD!
 

JackDavis

kiwifarms.net
"Make sure you got a flame... Yup got a flame"

Lmao he totally fucked up his siding by almost blowing up his grill one day.

Edit: *While chili is very obviously boiling* "Is that hot?"
Says it looks like soup. His solution? Throw it in the refrigerator overnight. "That'll really solidify it right up"
He sprinkles cheese on top, says it's nerve racking. "I don't know if this will melt or not, or turn toxic!" Huh?
"I'll just put less on the spoon so it cools faster, but I don't want less meat."
He calls this a fail because of the cheese he puts in. I think it's a fail because he didn't put any fucking salt in it. What's he going to do with the chili now, dump it down the drain? What a waste of food.
 
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Bumwine

kiwifarms.net
That's a Tomato soup with beans and vegetables,not chili
Nuke the veggies in the mike for extra sogginess
"I don't want raw meat in my chili" :story:
"A little smoked paprika": proceed to drop a third of the container
He put out his Venom-like tongue for some extra hot action while T. is thinking about leaving Jesus grace so she can finally get rid of him

Overall it's a good :stress: out of 10

He calls this a fail because of the cheese he puts in. I think it's a fail because he didn't put any fucking salt in it. What's he going to do with the chili now, dump it down the drain? What a waste of food.
I bet he will pull a DSP and dump it down the toilet and flush it while giggling like a 5 year old