Lolcow Jackie Lee Jones / JackieJones2261 / catloverjackie - Long Live the Coom!

  • There is a bug with the post editor. Images pasted from other websites from your clipboard will automatically use the [img] tag instead of uploading a copy as an attachment. Please manually save the image, upload it to the site, and then insert it as a thumbnail instead if you experience this.

Shirō Ishii

War crimes? What war crimes?
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
1626228189607.png
1626231222006.png
1626231244178.png

Jackie is a retarded man in his 30s who spends almost every hour of his day cooming to girls on twitter. He was discovered through another lolcow, Derich, a man who is also retarded, a fan of DSP and who also has his own thread. Jackie started off as the side character to Derich but has quickly become the main attraction. Here is the link to the Derich thread. Due to Jackie having the brain of a 5 year old, he's unable to live on his own, so he lives with his 64 year old mother who doesn't care that her son spends his days cooming on twitter

We know when Jackie is awake and when he goes to bed because he spams good morning/good night to porn stars on twitter. Usually he wakes up at 7 AM, but sometimes he's cooming at 4 or even 9 AM. However, he consistently goes to bed between 11:30 PM to midnight. It varies how many porn stars he tags and says this to. Sometimes it's a few while other times, it's 10+
Jackie spamming good morning and good night
1626243276867.png
1626243253512.png


From Twitter analytics, Jackie averages anywhere from 90 to 110 tweets per day.
https://socialblade.com/twitter/user/jackiejones2261
1626243594962.png


There's also data from this website, but it's not entirely accurate to when he posts as it uses Japan time and doesn't take into account the time of the person we're looking up
https://en.whotwi.com/jackiejones2261
1626243680476.png


Jackie loves to let people know that he's an animal lover and though he's not a furry, his Halloween costumes from the past few years would have you think otherwise
1626217564836.png
1626217613035.png
1626217640970.png


He gets hissy fits when the porn stars he's tweeting to don't respond or like his posts as well as getting angry and jealous over other coomers who are getting replied to.
1626216708868.png
1626217065820.png


Astrid is one of Jackie's favorite pornstars and no, he did not get a response from her
1626217152176.png


Jackie has made a few cooming videos which range from trying to win the heart of the female porn star, to saying happy birthday to one, to recently being in San Diego hoping to find the porn stars who live there


Jackie looking for some sex workers while in San Diego

Jackie is very into vore and though he doesn't tweet out vore porn, he has no problem tagging whores who he wants to eat him
1626217930292.png
1626217993916.png

1626222243803.png


In addition, Jackie often gets blocked by whores on twitter and every so often, he tweets asking for their forgiveness. It's unknown what he actually sends, but it's theorized that he DMs them pictures of his dick. The only proof to this is from a fellow kiwi, but considering that Jackie retweets whores sucking dicks with suggestive comments, there is some possible weight to this theory
I remember when a commenter on the Derichwatch twitter account asked if Jackie sends dickpics to these whore's DMs and Jackie replied to him with that Monsters Inc gif and basically said stay away or leave me alone. He 100% sends pics to these women and that's prob a key in factor in him getting blocked.
1626218542136.png
1626218566498.png


Related to the theory, Jackie often tweets things about how he wants his dick sucked. Usually it's a picture of a girl giving a blowjob, but this time, it's just a fantasy like this
1626218839397.png


Being obsessed with the Lion King and big cats, Jackie likes to use "feline language" like rawr, the cat's meow, and puurrrfect when cooming
1626219029912.png
1626219063788.png
1626219082662.png


Imagine unironically saying Hakuna Matata
1626219476852.png
1626223484937.png


Jackie uses a website called jerkmate, which is a site where you masturbate in front of live people. Jackie has no problem tweeting when he's about to wax his carrot as well as tagging the people who he's watching live
1626220505225.png
1626222697236.png


Jackie also was part of a contest and was one of 25 to receive a jerkmate bobblehead. He has it right in front of his Disney DVDs
1626220612909.png


The contest from Jerkmate
1626220704264.png


Though not often, sometimes he posts photos of his hand touching a babe. Unfortunately, one of these photos has a child, though Jackie did cover it up his face with a mouse sticker
1626223031331.png
1626223539743.png

Jackie will coom to practically any girl regardless if they're a whore or not. It's pretty much confirmed that his biggest reason for loving Disney Land is to take photos with the "hotties" being paid to dress up as Disney Princesses
1626228580896.png
1626228707348.png
1626228668160.png


Remember that this is his public facebook where he's typing these comments for the world to see. Though considering he's retarded enough to use his real name and face on his twitter, this shouldn't be a surprise
1626228919828.png


It can't be overstated how much Jackie thinks getting responses from strangers means that they find him attractive and desirable. He finds nothing wrong when he tags random porn actresses and describes his sexual fantasies with them
This private information is unavailable to guests due to policies enforced by third-parties.
 
Last edited:

Exuvia

All bleeding stops eventually.
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Aug 1, 2019
Jackie has taken over as my favorite cow for a while now. It brings a tear to my eye knowing that I may soon see him leave the safe nest of the Derich thread and become the king of his own.
 

Guntlapices

kiwifarms.net
Joined
May 29, 2021
Wow, he literally sounds like and presents as a black Chris Chan—the nasal droning of his voice, the constant glancing around, not to mention his obsessive cooming over the finer sex (much finer, in this case). Reminds me of Russell Greer, too, for that matter. Thanks for another great orbiter, Dave!
 

Shirō Ishii

War crimes? What war crimes?
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Any normal person would be giving congratulations on being vaccinated, but not Jackie
1626244343547.png
Back in action usually refers to sex Jackie and not shoutouts and likes, though in his world, that's sort of the same thing
1626244615267.png
Or, "Back in Action" could be referring to Jackie tagging her in 2 tweets where a girl is about to suck some dick and this nympho girl seems to be really good at that based off her twitter
1626245702944.png
Initially, I thought this was a porn star once again blocking Jackie, but this is a case of her not updating her twitter since June
1626245150384.png
Only posting this here because new thread means new friends who don't know about Jackie yet. Today, he woke up at 8 AM and went to bed at 11:30ish PM
1626245282661.png

1626245335109.png
 

Prince Lotor

The mentally disabled boy named his rabbit Bunny.
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 19, 2018
This post from the Derich Ip thread has a lot of extra photos as well including a thread favorite the 14th one down under the 'Facebook Profile Pictures' spoiler that features Jackie in Reindeer Christmas PJs with a box of roach killer and a bottle of Listerine balanced on the tub behind him.
1618872727129-png.2101311

On his Facebook he has porno websites and the pages of 'female pornstars I'm trying to win the attention of' right next to animal wildlife preservation organisations and Disney fan groups.
View attachment 2101180
This private information is unavailable to guests due to policies enforced by third-parties.

Jackie Jones is Derich's retarded gorilla friend who also loves to coom to whores on twitter and instagram. Jackie, by and large, is similar to Derich with his autism. His brain is small and is still that of a child, which explains why and how he's able to take photos with cute girls who aren't paid costume-characters at Disneyland. They sympathize with him because he's autistic and isn't able to function on his own in society......too bad they don't know how much he wants to do the dirty dirty with them :story:

The first 3 spoilers are all posts taken from all of the pages from this thread up to here to make it easier for any new watcher to find
These next ones aren't anything significant but I made sure to grab everything I could as the minute this gets posted, he might end up privating all of his social media.
There are more photos but it would be redundant as they're just his favorite movies, shows, politicians he follows (All Dems), etc. But not many are worth much thought other than that this dude loves animals. He has only a handful of thots and porn things liked, but nothing really noteworthy
Yes, that's 60 different snippets, 15 each
View attachment 2101537
Here's some of it to give y'all an idea
View attachment 2101542
View attachment 2101543
View attachment 2101544
 
Last edited by a moderator:

General Tug Boat

∆x∆y>=h/4π
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 14, 2020
I'm glad that we finally have the Jackie thread, there is just so much potential laughs to be had along the way. I know this was probably a pain in the ass OP, but good man for going forward with doing the migration.

I wonder how many Twitter thots he will get blocked by this month. Only time can tell how he fish's for replies, he has quite the fanbase from the Derich thread.

Here is my tagline for what I think the thread subtitle should be.

LONG LIVE THE COOM!
 

We Are The Witches

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Feb 23, 2019
For those who haven't noticed, the creepshots are worse than you'd imagine. At least for that image (the one with the girl in the red bikini and the kid), we can see how Jackie is sharing and commenting it with one of his coomer pals:
TwitterGabriel.png
You can notice the DMs with user "Gabriel07175170", it's a bit blurred, but you can further confirm with the account that liked Jackie's Tweets. It was originally noticed by @Neo-Liberal Bugman :
Wtf, this is the only guy who liked and retweeted that bizarre tweet

There is something about WWE that attracts the most weird Americans
See his like in the archive without logging, for both photos (one with the hand, the other with the full image):
(Hand):
https://twitter.com/JackieJones2261/status/1411035037064044545
https://archive.ph/EuB5g
(Full image):
https://twitter.com/JackieJones2261/status/1411032896069017603
https://archive.ph/ZHz2L

Gabriel (coomer friend):
https://twitter.com/gabriel07175170
https://archive.ph/XcOCu

From the little conversation one can distinguish, it might just be Gabriel asking Jackie where did he get the picture, but this just highlights the degeneracy. Reposting actual porn 24/7, but somehow showing special interest for that image.
 

Shirō Ishii

War crimes? What war crimes?
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
I know this was probably a pain in the ass OP, but good man for going forward with doing the migration.
Though this took a few hours, the hardest part was honestly figuring out what to include in the OP without it being too long. Obviously those who have been watching him in the former thread know what an autistic gold mine Jackie is, but having to choose the best ones wasn't that easy.

This happened last week where Jackie was upset that none of his twitter whores was saying good night to him. He did the same type of hissy fit when he was awake at 4 AM and nobody was telling him good morning a few weeks ago as well
1626296645703.png

1626296663763.png

1626296695210.png

1626296712655.png
Reposting this because I thought of it today and couldn't stop laughing
1626297187242.png
 
Last edited:

Shirō Ishii

War crimes? What war crimes?
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
It's been nearly 2 weeks, but Coomer Ed has returned to take away Jackie's precious replies from porn stars. Jackie tweeted Good Morning to her, she doesn't reply but when Ed does it, she replied to him
1626330293799.png

1626330270340.png

1626331214383.png

1626331261094.png

Jackie accidentally tagged himself instead of Marie giving us this sweet gem
1626331314468.png
Jackie won't be on twitter this weekend because he has to spam his facebook with pictures of animals for "animal awareness". Jackie treats what his does on twitter as his sworn duty. Sworn duty to what? If anything, those whores are thankful that you won't be annoying them for 2 days.
1626330804856.png

1626330857285.png

So he's stressed because a porn convention in Chicago will be held and so he might not get any replies because those whores will be too busy to check their twitter.....
1626331055415.png

Despite always being jealous of Coomer Ed, Jackie still lets him know that he'll be gone
1626330958528.png

Here's this lovely piece of autism
1626330993755.png

1626331898330.png
I can't believe Jackie actually got replies to this. He's crying that he feels "forgotten" from these porn actresses not replying to him. Jackie doesn't understand that these people are out here to make money. The reason why his arch rival Coomer Ed gets replies is, aside from not being a creep, Ed actually does pay for porn while the most we've seen Jackie pay for is a masturbation session on jerkmate from a few months ago. The rest of the times on jerkmate, it's free so those bitches aren't getting shit from having to watch Fat Al's retarded cousin jerk off
1626331490070.png

1626331506792.png

1626331741509.png

He used the same gif to the same whore on the same day.....again!.....yes, because clearly it worked so well the first time
1626331820476.png
Of course Jackie's favorite part was the blowjob scene. I'll never get used to how he describes blow jobs. It's so awkward and alien. I swear you can hear him fapping as he types it
1626332152900.png

1626332172561.png
Another whore died and it was of a suicide....to the surprise of nobody. Though according to a whore in the comments, she also had stage 4 breast cancer.....well, at least she didn't go out fucked up on drugs like the girl from last month
 
Last edited:

NerdShamer

International Glownigger Commander
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Aug 21, 2018
>Dresses in fur suits.
>Volunteers at a pet store.
>Talks like a cat.
>And posts furry reaction images.


Are you guys sure that he isn't lurking on FurAffinity?